Today, I laughed when I shouldn't have and am probably fired. What happened? My boss asked me if birds were reptiles. I thought he was kidding. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my boss called me into his office. After yelling and firing me, his assistant comes in telling him he had mistaken me for someone else. He did not give me my job back, as he claimed it would make an awkward work environment. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I corrected him after he misspoke during a meeting. FML
Today, I was fired for job abandonment. Yesterday, my boss told me to go home early because we were so slow. After I reminded him, he laughed and said, "Oh yeah... You're still fired." FML
Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML
Today, just a few minutes after I got to work, my usually laconic boss came into my office and said, "Pack your stuff and get the f*ck out." Apparently, half my department was being downsized. Thinking it was an April Fool's, I burst out laughing and told him how funny the prank was. He wasn't kidding. FML
Today, I found out that my coworker shared a laugh with the boss about setting the office desk on fire (which he actually did), while ten minutes later I was threatened with being fired because I made paper snowflakes and hung a few of them next to the computer. FML
Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML
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Top comments
redreynard 14
Well they aren't as different as you think. Birds are descended from dinosaurs.
FireFlie07 20
He seriously thought birds were reptiles???Lmao
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Comments (253)
ManInTheMachine 20
Wait...birds AREN'T reptiles? Then what the **** do I have in my bird. ..cage...from the lab...oh dear God. But in all seriousness, if you had a poker face, this could've been a fantastic inside joke. But alas, you had to open your mouth. *checks bird cage*
minus20 4
Birdies make me horny :)
perdix 31
That's why I had to quit golf. If I shot one under par, my opponents had better not bend over to get their ball from the hole.
marmlr339 14
That's ******* weird...
keenflow 2
Perdix- that's hilarious man... Touché
minus20 4
You're ******* weird! We all have our likes
StephWALKER 17
Birds are actually evolved from dinosaurs. So technically at one point- they were reptiles lol.
thePr3da1i3nrulz 4
Only if you believe in evolution lol
madelinebriana 11
92 - evolution is a theory
docscientist 10
96- evolution is a scientific theory. Not some "theory" people toss around when they get drunk and wonder if life is really a Popsicle. The occurrence of evolution is a simple fact of life. To know everything about it, is why we still study its processes.
Enslaved 38
Dinosaurs, reptiles and birds etc.. ALL fall into their own category. Talking about evolving is something completely different. Example: many people think spiders are insects instead of arachnids. And I know someone that swore eggs were dairy. Bottom line: Birds are NOT reptiles.
RedPillSucks 33
Gravity is a theory, yet we still know it works
gracehi 33
Religious people do believe in micro evolution (adaptions within a species). It's macro evolution (one species evolving into another) that many of them contest. Micro evolution is undeniable because it can be observed in nature, wheras macro evolution, although there is near-conclusive evidence to support the theory, has not technically been conclusively proven since it has never been observed because our species simply hasn't existed long enough. Now before I get accusations of stupidity and "blind faith" thrown at me, I'd like to say that, although I am a Christian, I do believe in both micro evolution and macro evolution, because I find them scientifically sound and not in conflict with my faith.
Spiral_Thoughts 19
150: I honestly don't know enough about evolution and I think it unwise to agree with something with little information about it. I think I will do some research on the scientific community's findings as a sort of summer project. With that said, I don't find the widely accepted theories unreasonable or in conflict with my beliefs.
olpally 33
I'd still keep laughing if the boss did fire me... Lol, and call him an idiot and walk away like a boss... :D
Mariebaz 11
You would walk away, wondering if birds were reptiles?
olpally 33
I'd walk away because it's irrelevant to the work-place most likely and a real stupid question... It depends on what op does for work, which we don't know... Google is a good thing to use, I hear...
darwinism 30
I can see how he can question their origin. As the father of evolution, I can say that they evolved from a reptilian ancestor. However, in modern culture, some people refer to women as "birds" (or "chicks"). If a persom refers to a woman in such a way, and she does not lke it, she may exhibit quite a reptilian nature, thus leading to the confusion if birds are reptiles or not. I hope this has cleared things up for you.
AussieChild 22
And you probably also believe that people evolved from apes
TheMathMajor 26
News flash 55, people are apes.
redreynard 14
No one thinks that people evolved from apes. Maybe you should actually read up on the theory of evolution.
RedPillSucks 33
sigh... Common ancestors!!! I hate that in this day and age, people still misquote/misunderstand this.
AussieChild 22
A lot of people actually do believe that; I've studied it.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
If we evolved from monkeys, NEWSFLASH: there would be no monkeys! We would be the monkeys. We have a common ancestor.
StubbornDonkey 10
According to a recent article from the Indian Express (indianexpress.com), humans evolved from sharks!
loserman67 36
Technically birds are reptiles but either way you never laugh at your boss unless he just told a joke.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Your boss is an idiot. Birds and reptiles have no features (other than anatomical nessesities) in common. Feathers. Scales. Rear feathers. Tails. Hollow bones. Marrow. Flies. Generally doesn't. Nothing.
darwinism 30
Some common features between birds and reptiles: 1. They both have a cloaca 2. They both lay eggs 3. Both are edible
perdix 31
The bad news is, yes, you are going to get fired. The good news is you have a slam-dunk wrongful termination lawsuit. Have a jury trial. Show 12 of your boss's peers a picture of a cobra next to one of a parrot, and tell them your boss thought they were cousins. ????? Profit.
OfficeNinja 5
Not if the OP lives in a "right to work" state. "Right to work" translates into "right to get fired for any reason". Wrongful termination? Not anymore. In right to work states I can fire you for being ugly. I can even put that in your termination letter. All you can do about it is pack your stuff and GTFO.
perdix 31
Michigan is not an Orwellian-named "right to work" state. Therefore, the OP does have a chance for some justice, even if this is an ideal Americans are hasty to sacrifice for baubles and trinkets.
RedPillSucks 33
and donuts... Don't forget the donuts.
bigbadtim 7
Well birds did evolve from dinosaurs.
PinkyPie09 6
I love your profile pic! Daleks are my favorite Doctor Who villains!
lesleyxxx 0
Had to comment and say lovee the profile pic :-) Daleks are amazing, they too are my fav Dr Who monster/alien
Ajwc101 24
He's a smart one...
mariah_victoria 0
...no. just no. -_- ..