Work: Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk...

By hangman - 01/08/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 4 515

Work

Sorry…

Mama's boy

Dream baby dream

By BlakeVB - 25/05/2019 14:18

Today, the girl that I had a crush on for over a year, from whom I recently moved on from, told me that she likes me. I’m dating a new girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 264

By Anonymous - 28/10/2018 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 378

You deserved it 421

Chuck E. Cheese awaits

By mama’s boy - 31/10/2019 00:01

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 381

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 05:50 - United States - Austin

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 714

You deserved it 3 883

Time don't heal nothing

By Anonymous - 16/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was sitting in my garden with my younger sister when she told me that she'd found pictures of me from a decade ago. She also told me that I've changed a lot over the years, because back then I was still pretty. My neighbours overheard it and started laughing out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 173

Gentrification strikes!

By Anonymous - 05/03/2020 06:01

Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 320

You deserved it 220

By Anonymous - 25/08/2014 16:01 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 285

You deserved it 17 538

On the down low

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 16:03 - Canada - Montreal

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 819

You deserved it 7 920

Neverending story

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 11:01

Today, it's my birthday. We were supposed to be going to a nice Italian restaurant at 6.30 p.m. Instead, the whole region is going into a snap lockdown from 6 p.m., due to the recent community transmissions of Covid-19. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 104

By Ages ago - 08/05/2019 10:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, two guys robbed me. As I wrestled them on the ground, my best friend just stood next to all this, telling me to give them the money already, or we'd be late for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 894

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 16:06 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my girlfriend surprised me with what was allegedly a birthday "cake". It was so horribly deformed, I wasn't sure whether to eat it or wear it as a hat. I had to pretend it didn't taste like play-doh, and ended up throwing it up in the toilet. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 231

You deserved it 4 493

Doggy dog world

By limey6g - 22/10/2021 17:00

Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 79

By Nicky_ham - 06/01/2016 04:56 - Canada - Regina

Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 559

You deserved it 1 625

By Anonymous - 11/03/2012 23:19 - United States

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 296

You deserved it 29 148

By Andy - 27/02/2019 02:00

Today, while jetlagged and going through customs in Singapore, I grabbed what I thought was a pen to fill out the form. I heard it squeak as I lifted it up. It was a straw in the custom agent's drink. The resulting noise he made lasted 10+ seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 898

You deserved it 367

By cane - 05/03/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, my mom needed coffee so I drove to Starbucks to get her some. She let me drive the Porsche, which has never happened. Upon coming home I picked the coffee up out of the cupholder so it wouldnt spill. My phone vibrated in my pocket, I spilled the coffee and crashed the car into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 172

You deserved it 65 326

By Stung - 10/02/2012 14:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 438

You deserved it 29 058

Wild thing

By ChrisBak - 24/11/2021 14:02

Today, my wife keyed my car and spilled wine on the seats because she saw I commented on a female friend’s picture on Facebook. I told her how repairs are gonna be expensive, and she responded, “You should have thought about that before complimenting other bitches on Facebook!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 354

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 869

You deserved it 47 252

Healthcare in the US is fucked up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 04:01

Today, I was out with friends when one of them started complaining about having to spend $50 on two copays for his therapist. He makes more a week than I do in three, and I can't even get seen by any type of healthcare professional because nowhere is accepting new patients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 646

You deserved it 69

By roflcopter - 19/08/2010 00:53 - United States

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 148

You deserved it 31 460

By Monkeyless - 02/05/2012 03:59 - United States - Providence

Today, it was confirmed that the "no pet rule" in my apartment complex is so strict that I'm not even allowed to have sea monkeys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 263

You deserved it 2 942

By Bellend - 21/02/2012 07:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 604

You deserved it 42 518

By argh - 13/07/2011 23:49 - United States

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 892

You deserved it 2 510

By dmvfail - 15/09/2011 00:13 - United States

Today, I went to the DMV for my second attempt to get my license. I did everything perfectly, stayed at the speed limit, did my three-point turn flawlessly, and parked nicely. The lady failed me because I wasn't using the stick shift right. My car doesn't have a stick shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 282

You deserved it 2 949

By sly - 04/01/2009 03:55 - France

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 3 714

Buckle down

By tryingtobepretty101 - 02/09/2011 16:58 - United States

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 137

You deserved it 8 798

It's been a while

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 05:00 - United States - Perkasie

Today, I finally had someone else touch my man parts. It was my doctor, checking for testicular cancer and a hernia, as part of my yearly physical. He's the only person other than myself to touch my junk in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 186

By brigie - 01/05/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 458

You deserved it 8 123

By CatLitterLover - 08/02/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 15 596

By Anonymous - 11/03/2010 06:45 - United States

Today, it's the third anniversary of when I started looking for a new job. I'm still working at the job that made me want to get a new one and I haven't even had an interview for another one in almost two years. My Master's degree on the wall is looking more and more like a roll of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 603

You deserved it 3 551

By random - 15/06/2011 14:23 - Canada

Today, I was approached by a police officer who instructed me to move because I was "threatening the elderly". I was sitting on a park bench in front of an old folks home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 406

You deserved it 3 170

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I drove my husband's car to the mall because my car was in the shop. The bumper was being repaired because I got rear ended while stopped at a traffic light. While stopped at the same intersection I got rear ended again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 841

You deserved it 3 848

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 988

You deserved it 4 163

ASMR

By Crucible101 - 24/08/2020 08:07

Today, I listened to a recording of a woman saying, "I love you" for about 30 mins straight. That's apparently the only way I can feel loved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 279

By whatno - 19/06/2013 23:40 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 768

You deserved it 9 213

By whitneyy - 03/08/2009 12:04 - Australia

Today, I went to my grandfathers' funeral. As I stood there, bawling my eyes out, my aunt came over and put her arm around me. She leaned her head close to mine. I assumed she was going to say something comforting, instead she asked where I'd bought my shoes from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 073

You deserved it 3 259

By FUCKING POWER - 02/11/2013 21:41 - United States - Wixom

Today, there was a power outage at my apartment. I ended up deciding that the power wasn't going to come on any time soon, and that I should go to a hotel for the night. Just after I unpacked at the hotel, my neighbor called to say the power had come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 467

You deserved it 43 989

YouTube Drama

By Youtube drama sucks - 04/02/2021 22:58

Today, I went down a four-hour YouTube rabbit hole trying to understand the Onision drama. I finally snapped out if it, thinking, "I don't care about any of this. What am I doing with my life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 417

By "sanza666" - 26/04/2019 00:00

Today, I shattered a coffee pot at work and ended up with a piece of glass in my eye. Now I have to look like a pirate until its healed, and it's nowhere near Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 828

You deserved it 201

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Top comments

love_rose18 9

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:32

Your boss is a dick.

flashback.miss 28

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:31

Sorry you were set up for that OP. At least you're still employed.

flashback.miss 28

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:31

Sorry you were set up for that OP. At least you're still employed.

daniel_0084 14

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:39

What the hell is wrong with your profile picture.

tiernang 21

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:49

7, i have seen it so much lately, im numb to it now.

friedpwnadge 25

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Friday 2 August 2013 6:12

It's an eye leech, commonly used in many cultures to drain bad blood and help with infections. The more you know :)

Zynris 10

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Friday 2 August 2013 6:19

Looks a lot more like grape jelly to me.

DJisHere11 19

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Friday 2 August 2013 6:48

It looks really fucked up to me. I don't even like reading her comments because of that picture.

TheCanucklehead 22

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Friday 2 August 2013 8:30

Set up like a girl on a blind date with a 40yr old virgin

UglyFatGirl 9

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Friday 2 August 2013 9:05

what?!..

tjv3 10

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Saturday 3 August 2013 2:48

Well check the company policy on acceptable use for the computer/Internet/email then report him to HR and smile

ohSNAPyall 26

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Saturday 3 August 2013 14:23

Don't encourage HR to be dicks. Do print it with the time stamp so that they know it was right before same dude wrote you up, just in case.

love_rose18 9

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:32

Your boss is a dick.

PterodactylMan 23

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:58

A big one at that, hey at least your not fighting for your job like the other FML

_parth 20

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Friday 2 August 2013 19:29

Or a hilarious boss.

herh1996 6

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:34

Wow, you should send him an equally funny email next time he has a meeting or something.

KingReppin956 15

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Friday 2 August 2013 7:29

Umm no because his boss is the boss & can fire him.

ryanthecheeseguy 18

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:34

Your boss is an ass.

narkill 13

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:36

Just plant some weed in his desk next time. Actually no, don't do that.

Fluffasuars_Rawr 15

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:40

Haha, he would probably take the weed and just smoke it xD

electricshock19 12

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:56

Why not?...

subiedude08 17

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Friday 2 August 2013 9:35

Because that's just wrong that could get him arrested he only suspended her

thatgirlkat 9

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:39

This man is the definition of a dick.

hcollins1 18

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:41

If there is anyone in management that is in a higher position than your boss, show them the email the he had sent you. I can't stand people who take advantage of their power!

kjones99 11

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:42

Your boss is a jerk, and take this as a hint and possibly find someone better to work for.

whyisitme12 19

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:42

Be happy you still got job, any other boss would of just fired on spot. Still FML

alycion 38

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Friday 2 August 2013 5:58

I know the economy sucks and good jobs can be hard to come by, but we shouldn't be happy about having a job if companies and bosses continue to treat us like shit. If people keep that attitude, things will never change.