The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Smells like defeat

By Sad girl - 23/12/2024 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went to a party and met a guy who was super charming. We hit it off, and he seemed really into me. After talking for a while, he leaned in for a kiss, and I thought, "This is it!" But instead of a kiss, he just sniffed my hair, then said, "Wow, you smell just like my mom!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 109

Messed up

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my therapist told me she can’t see me by herself anymore because frankly I have so many problems, I need separate therapists, each with their own specialties, to work together on me as a team. I didn’t think it was that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 114

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 632

Not so smart

By Jilleanna Montana - 20/11/2024 07:00 - United States - Billings

Today, at 6 a.m. I rolled over in bed causing my smartwatch to vibrate with an alert that it had detected a hard fall. Ten seconds after I dismissed the alert, I heard a voice from my watch with the dreaded words, "911, what's your emergency?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 144

Santa or Satan?

By Cat poo - 23/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Smithtown

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 216

Small world

By Frankie says relax - 06/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 238

Way too transparent

By Louise - 07/10/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a friend of mine, who I also like, a present for his birthday. When I gave him the present, he winced and told me, “Thanks, this is sweet and all, but I only like you as a friend.” I haven’t even told him how I felt or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 172

Soothing

By Deepthroat - 09/12/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Clydebank

Today, after having had a sore throat all day, I finally decided to have a throat lozenge on the bus. It was nice and soothing, until the bus sharply turned a corner and I started coughing and choking on it violently like a cat with a furball. My throat now feels like Satan pissed nails down it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 106

Too much

By Lost Reggie - 05/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, my daughter had her gall bladder removed after just having liver surgery, my girlfriend tripped and fell, breaking several toes and possibly her ankle, and I got almost no sleep between my night shifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 103

Riiiiiiiight

By Liar liar plants for hire - 23/07/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to see his ex, who is still friends with him, at her house to comfort her because her mom died. I found out after doing some Facebook stalking that her mom is very much alive. I called him on the phone to call him out on his lie. He responded that he meant her “stepmother” not biological mother. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 138

Never flip flop and drive

By Alyce - 09/10/2020 08:10 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I was supposed to deliver my S/O's keys to the garage, where he got his car fixed after a minor accident. I pulled out of my alley, only to have my flip flop catch on my accelerator, causing me to hit another car passing by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 583

PIVOT!

By D.M - 29/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 86

Intricate design

By Anonymous - 24/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Rockford

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 134

Busted

By YoMamma68 - 31/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 3 594

Can't win

By notamindreader - 09/10/2024 08:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I've been working for a company for six months, but I still don't know my job fully because my trainer is difficult. He would get mad because I'd wait until he was done explaining before asking questions, so I changed and asked as soon as he said something I didn't know, but would get, "Well, if you'd let me finish…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 85

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/05/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 82

Dog Jump Fail

By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York

Practice doesn't always make perfect!

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 110

Nope, not even once

By Anonymous - 11/09/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at a customer's house, I was asked to carry her delivery of six pieces of heavy furniture up to her office. Normally, not a problem, but this insane woman had Witches' Stairs (Google them), which were was an accident begging to happen. She told my boss I was unhelpful, uncooperative, and rude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 96

Busted

By Carei - 26/03/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my parents told me that because they found dildos, a rose toy, and condoms in my bedroom, I’m not getting a car for graduation anymore. Also, I have 30 days from my 18th birthday to “find an apartment or something” and “get the hell out” since I’m "such a grown up now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 269

One way street

By Gary - 05/11/2023 01:02 - Ukraine

Today, I dressed up for work, even though I work from home. My wife insists that I look great in suits, she wanted me to wear them at home, and I don't really mind. On the other hand, she keeps wearing the same dirty clothes for two weeks because she doesn't care about how she looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 133

I'm not worthy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 18:00 - Germany - Undeloh

Today, after having had my cat for a year, I've began to understand why people spoil their pets: Between me and her, I want at least one of us to have the easy, comfortable life she deserves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 173

NIMBYs all over

By Anonymous - 13/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spoke out at a town hall about the lack of affordable housing. I was called a “Marxist” and told to “Move to Canada” by a guy who was vaping and wearing a “Don't Tread on Me” shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 133

Never gonna let me live it down

By Taylor - 08/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 86

No kinkshaming

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my wife told me she doesn’t understand why I’m uncomfortable with her being the moderator of “Sex Talk” forum, the top pinned message board of which is “Adultery Cuckolding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 191

Skincare

By Anonymous - 04/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, months after a severe poison ivy rash, I have learned that I now have a very intense poison ivy allergy. As in, any exposure to poison ivy at all will cause my face, hands, thighs, and groin to swell up and itch madly for up to a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 80

He studies the blade

By Anonymous - 11/01/2022 11:01

Today, my boyfriend dumped me and walked away from our life together, because I wouldn’t let him indulge his stupid manchild hobby of collecting swords to hang on the walls. He already has two, why the hell would he want more than that? Bullet dodged, but 2 years together wasted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 4 240

Great presentation!

By Sarah - 08/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new pair of heels to an interview. Halfway through, as they were showing me around the production floor, one of my heels snapped. I was forced to finish the interview wobbling on one heel like a drunk flamingo. I wasn’t offered the job, but they did say, “You have great balance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 102

You calling me ugly, lady?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, the passport office lady asked, “You really wanna use THAT photo? Passports are valid for 10 years you know.” I thought it was a great photo of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 105

Awww, thanks sweetie

By Anonymous - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 78

Just take the W

By sexy…i guess - 02/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my sister’s friends think I’m “hot” and “sexy.” They’re nine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 200

Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 554

You deserved it 36 332

Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. i swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 228

Today, it seemed like a great day. Right up until the point to where I accidentally damaged a friend's MacBook Pro. Not only do I have to pay for it, but the only way I'll be able to afford it is by returning every single Christmas gift I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 495

You deserved it 699

Today, I spent a while in a tree after fleeing a rampaging Blue Tongue lizard, only to be chased back out of it by an angry possum. Australian wildlife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 249

You deserved it 1 005

Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 105