The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Fun fun fun

By Rachel - 27/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I spent my entire day building various zoos in Zoo Tycoon, and then releasing all of the animals to see them chase people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 831

Awkward

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 02:01

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 1 379

Corruption

By fmlfromnorway - 12/11/2024 15:00 - Norway - Nedre Frei

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 107

What is happening to me?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 16:30 - India - Puducherry

Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 150

This could be the last time

By Jfc shut up - 31/01/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, the guy conducting an experiment in the lab with me is about to quit. He keeps loudly announcing every time he does something for the last time. "This is the LAST TIME I'm gonna mix reagents!" I'm about to shove this clown into the vacuum oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 108

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 18:00 - United States - Ona

Today, I got rejected by a girl I was talking to. We had mutual feelings, and I waited a long time for her to be single again. We talked, made out, and now she has gotten into another relationship, acting like she doesn't like me anymore… but still wants to be friends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 198

Getting dryer

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 15:00 - United States - Ironwood

Today, I (32F) tried to break a two month dry spell with my boyfriend of five years. He pointed out a cold sore on my lip. I never got cold sores before I met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 127

Yummy

By Veggie dinner - 01/07/2024 16:00 - Germany - Essen

Today, I was boiling pasta and tasting it every now and then too see if it was done. As an afterthought, I threw in some lentil pasta as well. Only after tasting a few more times did I notice the maggots that were now slowly rising in the boiling water. I didn't expect that much protein in those lentils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 155

Full stop

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, after my husband and I had been fighting, he left to go to his mom's and said we just needed some space. I later saw that he had deleted all my family, friends, and has our marriage hidden on Facebook, and has taken my name and "husband" out of his bio. He's already told everyone we split. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 191

Walking cliché

By NotBluffing - 02/11/2023 04:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my classmates refuse to believe I have a girlfriend, all because I said she goes to a different school. She actually does, but apparently too many fakers have used that as an excuse for it to have any credibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 151

Demanding

By Anonymous - 12/06/2024 08:00 - United Arab Emirates - Sharjah

Today, the asshole who I paid to send me weekly diet plans thinks I'm weird because I'm asking him to send them on time. He claims he "has a life." WTF? Arrogant! I paid for this service that he's giving poorly. He even sends the same plan every week and just changes the file date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 297

Thanks, Walt

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kirkcaldy

Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 151

Take it seriously

By Sis in crisis - 27/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Glendale

Today, I had to temporarily block my brother from calling me because every day for the last week or two he has called me just to yell, "THEY ARE EATING THE DOGS! THEY ARE EATING THE CATS!" before hanging up. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 146

My big day

By ReadyFreddy - 29/03/2025 04:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I was starting a new job. I got up early, showered, did my hair, put on my uniform, had a good cry because I was scared/excited that I was starting a future where I will be financially free for the first time. Then my boss texted me because one of his back of house employees is sick and he can’t train me until tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 90

Failed the smell test

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 08:00 - Canada

Today, I put my elbow in some sticky, clear stuff on my desk. I supervise a bunch of 20-something men. I don't want to think about what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 94

Many such cases!

By Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 114

Hogwatch

By What great parents I have - 10/09/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my parents were watching videos of police officers dealing with stubborn suspects. I overheard my mom saying, "It's like a Christian trying to argue with an atheist about God" and my dad agreed. Good to know that they're still as intolerant as ever, and it will never be safe for me to come out as an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 242

Weather report

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 13:00 - South Africa - Durbanville

Today, it's raining. I got up at 4:30 to be ready to start tiling a patio floor, which will take three days. The difficult customer wants it done in three days. How do I tile outside in the pouring rain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 53

Customer service

By Anonymous - 12/07/2023 22:00

Today, I handed a written complaint to a shop manager about an employee who had used foul language to my teenage daughter. I then watched as he took the complaint to the employee in question, they read it together, laughed, then the manager tore it in half and threw it in the bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 1 068

Sorority

By New mom - 01/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I am five days postpartum and my sister came over to see me. After she refused to help me with dishes or do the laundry or grab dinner, I angrily asked why she even came. She replied, "Uh… to meet the baby? You're not entitled to my help, you know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 742

Foolish

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 05:59

Today, I watched as a bin man picked up and threw into his truck the bag I foolishly left a few metres from a public bin before I got on the train. That bag contained every document that proves my identity for my new job, my driver's licence, birth certificate, passport, oh and my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 1 459

What did they say?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why I still haven't gotten my refund for when the ATM gave me a cash dispenser error and cancelled the transaction, but the money was taken out of the account anyway. The error happened on Friday of last week, it's Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 90

Austerity measures

By Anonymous - 13/10/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 152

Role model

By Ryan - 11/07/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I met my dad for first time in 22 years. He smoked a joint with me, showed me his plants, and gave me a bag of mushrooms. Every time I try and believe I'm not trash, the universe tells me different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 204

My house, my rules

By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 00:01

Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 990

A modern classic

By Anonymous - 14/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend has been continuously played Skibidi Toilet on repeat and singing the song. She's 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 134

Bad sign, huh?

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 05:00 - Malaysia - George Town

Today, I went to my class as usual. I've had my eyes on one guy for a year now. A new girl came in and he was talking about her with his friends when my friend suggested me instead of her. He took a glance at me before turning back into the conversation making the same face I did when I saw a disintegrated frog that'd been run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 124

Yapping and chirping

By My headphones were busted - 08/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 96

By gymnaste - 16/02/2009 04:36 - France

Today, jumping over the stiles in the Paris subway, I caught my shin on the turnstile. I put my hands out reflexively to avoid busting my face on the ground, but ended up suspended upside down from the metal bars. A kid took a photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 469

Freudian slip

By stupid me - 28/10/2020 06:02 - Israel

Today, while hugging my sister's husband, I accidentally let out a "Mmm…" sound in front my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 1 145

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The Top

Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 68

Today, I was in a Zoom meeting for a very important lab I work in. My lab director, who is writing me a letter of recommendation for medical school, commented on a painting I had in the background. "Oh, what is that? It looks nice." My reply? "A bong." I got a professionalism email right after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 1 420

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 565

You deserved it 38 165

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 528

You deserved it 3 643

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2 p.m. and screamed out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 734

You deserved it 3 519

Today, I found out that my rent is going up by $100. This is the third year in a row. I'm on SSI ($914/month) and it was $550 when I moved in before the pandemic. I'm also morbidly obese, schizophrenic, and my family doesn't respect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 794