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The all-time greatest FMLs

Scramble time

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Sullivan

Today, I found out that all the birthday presents and decorations I bought for my son's birthday got lost in transit. I ordered them two weeks in advance, just in case something went wrong. His birthday is today and his party is tomorrow. Guess who's going to be making a Walmart trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 97

Scaredy cats

By Anonymous - 09/02/2022 11:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I saw my cat lying in the bathroom. A few seconds later, I noticed that he looked like he was dead. After going into a panic and quickly running to make sure he was okay, he woke up and glared at me. Later, he was sleeping in the exact same position, and I once again though he was dead. This cat, I swear… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 774

Sensitive

By Anonymous - 26/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I sneezed so hard in a café that I scared a toddler, who screamed, causing another patron to drop their coffee. It was a chain reaction of chaos, all thanks to my nose's sensitivity to the smell of knock-off perfume wafting from a dude at the table next to ours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 135

Food for thought

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 15:00 - Australia - Buderim

Today, after many years of being one of the best workers anywhere I worked, and being superhuman, I now have to accept that I may never be able to work full time again. Why? Because apparently I haven't been properly digesting food since I was 16 and I'm now 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 146

Breaking news

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, I found out I was single by scrolling through Facebook and seeing my (now ex) boyfriend's relationship as "single." I was at work, in the middle of my shift. I haven't been electronically dumped since Middle School. He's 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 85

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 04/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 68

Newsflash from beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Salem

Today, I found out my deceased grandmother never liked anything that I bought for her. She would never say anything to not hurt my feelings. The only reason I bought those things in the first place was because growing up she told me that she liked them. Now that she's gone, I'm hearing what she really thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 105

Under my thumb

By Anonymous - 09/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Upland

Today, the girl I love who friendzoned me called to talk. She shared the marvelous things she'd done for her friend's birthday, then said, "You had a recent birthday too." Then she laughed. We'd talked multiple times without her mentioning my birthday. She ignored it on Facebook. Time for no contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 215

Martial Arts Feels

By FML Approved - 29/08/2017 22:27 - France - Paris

Martial arts instructors have feelings too!

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 154

Chipping in

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, while fighting unemployment and an visible abscess on my neck, I was cajoled into attending my Mom's birthday party. I spent the entire time at the restaurant trying to hide an oozing sore with a bandage, eating partially edible food. The cost? $40 I can't afford to spend on food not worth $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 137

Masters of mischief

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 16:00 - United States - Salem

Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 157

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 27/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Rickmansworth

Today, my boyfriend phoned me at work and broke up with me. Why, you ask? A boy I was semi-seeing about a year ago decided to show my boyfriend's best friend a video of him fucking some girl and said it was me, and that I cheated on my boyfriend. At the end of day, he believes it's not me, but WTF is going on? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 142

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the middle of a chemistry exam when I felt an urgent need to fart that was difficult to hold in. I sit in the back, so I tried to do the "One Cheek Sneak." It came out sounding like a loud, obnoxious kazoo. The professor remarked, "No hazardous chemicals outside the lab!" Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 249

Highly skilled prankster

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work on a farm and someone pranked me by horseshoeing my boots. You read that right, someone went through the full process of fixing horseshoes to my Wellington boots, forging the shoe to the correct shape, then nailing it on. It was actually impressive, but seriously guys… FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 97

Thanks, Son!

By Honey Apples - 26/03/2024 22:00 - Philippines - Paranaque City

Today, my grade school son's teacher came over for a conference. When she sat on our one seater sofa, the upholstery broke, causing her to sink deeper back. My son desperately tried to pull her up and out, while saying to her, "Teacher, NO!!! You have to have a butt as big as my mom's to safely sit in THAT chair!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 161

Baby fever

By mala_19 - 06/07/2023 18:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I've eaten two pieces of fruit, three crackers, and 3.5 glasses of juice. I've also vomited 3 times and peed myself once. Can someone please tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to get pregnant again? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 685

Quiet life

By Anonymous - 10/12/2024 12:00

Today, my parents told me that unless I think about my behaviour and make some real changes, people are going to think I’m weird or suspicious, and I’ll never make friends. This is because I choose to attend church on Sundays instead of watching TV and getting drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 310

Time to get a bike!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I have to get up at 6 a.m. each day to make it to a class at 8 because of commuter traffic. The college has decided to eliminate an entire parking lot right next to the building where my class takes place, to build a parking garage, which will take 2 years. The only open parking is a field clear across the campus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 136

Spill the shade, throw some tea

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 16:00 - Kuwait - Mishrif

Today, it's been months since my spouse has talked to me. I'm currently in a timezone that's almost double digits difference. Not even a "Have a good day!" Big ass fuck you I guess. Yet they're always on, then gets off shortly after I'm on Facebook Messenger. Makes sense, right? Shady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 146

Pretend I'm not here

By Bad bridesmaid - 11/05/2025 09:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was a bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding. During the ceremony, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to stifle it, but when I sneezed, my bouquet flew out of my hands and into the groom’s face. It knocked his glasses off, and everyone was silent until the groom finally said, “Are you implying you oppose our marriage?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 117

By [...] - 12/12/2013 14:28 - France - Vaulx-en-velin

Today, while waiting in the queue at a supermarket checkout, my three-year-old daughter yells out, "Mom! Mom! Is that a man or a lady in front?" Embarrassed, I reply, "Honey, can't you see that it's a... it's a... a..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 74

Get out ASAP

By Anonymous - 17/04/2023 10:00 - India - Bengaluru

Today, my husband is out of town for a week. My toddler asked me, "Mommy, why are you being nice to me now?" I was the same as always though. That's when it hit me: I've been in a severely toxic relationship and I've been taking it out on my toddler to long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 179

Going swimmingly

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 11:03 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was excited to go to swim after a long time of not doing so because of Covid restrictions. After changing into my trunks and putting my goggles on, I jumped into the pool straight away, while still wearing my mask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 687

Vengeance will be mine

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 15:00

Today, I had to get in contact with a crisis line because of how bad I am being bullied at work. Management won't get rid of the one responsible, as they are also part of Management. Several others have either quit or made complaints, as they are experiencing the same thing. Still nothing is getting done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 74

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 17:01

Today, I asked my husband to talk and he got the most tired and “Here we go again” look and then asked what he’d done wrong this time. Apparently, I get mad at him so often that now every time we talk, he immediately assumes he did something wrong. I think I’m a horrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 884

Chubbyemu vibes

By Anonymous - 28/01/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, it's been three months since I had a GI virus. In this time, all the tests I've done so far came out negative at the doctor's. I've changed my diet, haven't drank alcohol, nor was I a habitual drinker. The bouts of nausea and vomiting keep coming back on random days. I cannot get the right amount of nutrients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 63

Great timing!

By Nathan - 28/10/2024 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got back from a holiday to find that my coworkers had prepared a “Welcome Back!” surprise. I pretended to be excited, only for them to awkwardly whisper that it was intended for another coworker, who was on her way back from maternity leave the same morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 152

Scratched

By itchy - 08/11/2023 14:00

Today, I have scratched both my ankles so hard and for so long that they started bleeding, and they still itch. I have no idea what I’m allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 122

Weekend vibes

By Jakolator - 06/09/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, my wife had a shit fit because my son said I hadn't fed him. I'd asked him four times what he wanted for breakfast, and every time he said, "I'm not hungry right now." Great start to the fucking weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 107

Put your back into it!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim he can’t eat me out because he has a short tongue, a genuine medical condition that means he can’t do it properly. Funny, because I’ve seen him use that short tongue to completely clean out a Cadbury Creme Egg before without issue. He’s now sulking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 101

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The Top

Today, I dyed a friend's hair dark brown. She assured me I didn't need gloves as the dye would wash off. It didn't. My shift as a server is in an hour and it looks like I've been working in a tire shop my whole life. Goodbye tips, hello angry customers not wanting me anywhere near their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 310

You deserved it 22 968

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 576

You deserved it 5 563

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 130

You deserved it 4 700

Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 888

You deserved it 14 400

Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 599

You deserved it 531

Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 365