Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally... - FML

By TmWhisp - United States

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

408

You deserved it

25

Tweet

Share

Great speech, thanks!

Family matters

Sounds lovely

By Anonymous - United States - Romulus

Today, I realized my online dating profile has gotten more views with no picture than it has with my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50507

You deserved it

5546

Tweet

Share

By madzlovesgee - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks

68661

You deserved it

53255

Tweet

Share

By club goer - Canada

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31854

You deserved it

8423

Tweet

Share

By #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35848

You deserved it

6162

Tweet

Share

By dustlander.com - United States - Provo

Today, I was wrapping up a 30+ hour commission when a software bug caused my main layer to delete itself. There doesn't appear to be any way I can restore it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2369

You deserved it

318

Tweet

Share

By Patrick - United States

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26381

You deserved it

5237

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Romania

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33731

You deserved it

9094

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41564

You deserved it

4225

Tweet

Share

By Mike - United States

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22567

You deserved it

5211

Tweet

Share

By Scaredwitless - United States

Spooky

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51771

You deserved it

5988

Tweet

Share

By dreamer2639 - United States

Today, I exchanged numbers with this guy in the McDonald's drive-thru. When he asked why I gave him my number I told him I thought he had a nice smile. When I asked him the same question, he responded with "I just thought you had a nice rack". FML

I agree, your life sucks

15475

You deserved it

47853

Tweet

Share

By no paedo - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19848

You deserved it

1956

Tweet

Share

By chronic

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4814

You deserved it

449

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML

I agree, your life sucks

45591

You deserved it

12388

Tweet

Share

By blech - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I witnessed my dad rummage through his nostrils, thoughtfully examine the contents, and flick them nonchalantly onto the carpet. All of this he did with the biggest demented grin on his face. Sadly, this has become a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26673

You deserved it

2541

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I was fired from my job for "lack of work". What that means is that my boss hired his good-for-nothing lazy son, who then got too big of a mortgage, and he had to let me go to pay him a higher salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3876

You deserved it

188

Tweet

Share

By potatoes - United States

Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML

I agree, your life sucks

11248

You deserved it

30844

Tweet

Share

By FlowerPower - United States

Today, I took a big sniff of a flower in my garden. I spent the rest of the morning blowing little bugs out of my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38749

You deserved it

18246

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Saint Marys

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11792

You deserved it

38433

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40204

You deserved it

4295

Tweet

Share

By HughGorgy - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17321

You deserved it

102809

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46237

You deserved it

6758

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39594

You deserved it

3387

Tweet

Share

By MyFaceHurts - United States

Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9811

You deserved it

55249

Tweet

Share

By ripmyphone - United States - Glen Allen

Today, while I was walking across a bridge, a prepubescent middle schooler grabbed my phone from my hand and threw it into the water. His friend filmed it, high-fived him, and they both ran off. I got that phone less than a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24920

You deserved it

1714

Tweet

Share

By MadMax - United States - Nashua

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44185

You deserved it

3864

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - New Orleans

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26437

You deserved it

2192

Tweet

Share

By Interview tragedy - United States

Today, I went in for an interview at my dream job. When I walked in, I got a dirty look from the front desk secretary. Turns out, the guy interviewing me was from a dating website I'm on. I'd rejected him and told him to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13668

You deserved it

34858

Tweet

Share

By Xbieblette51 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48743

You deserved it

6921

Tweet

Share

By pinkfloyd777

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's parents offered her a trip to Europe if she dumped me. She accepted, and broke up with me. Her parents were lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44404

You deserved it

3825

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

49026

You deserved it

6429

Tweet

Share

By Sir Vom-a-lot - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33559

You deserved it

6552

Tweet

Share

By niii - France

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22100

You deserved it

13934

Tweet

Share

By Master Debater - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26958

You deserved it

39956

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Knoxville

Today, while giving my final speech, a bump that had been growing on my arm popped. Pus leaked through my white dress sleeve, and it smelled like death. Everyone noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23773

You deserved it

2507

Tweet

Share

By stargirl - Canada

Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39112

You deserved it

13034

Tweet

Share

By JJMan217 - Canada

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22346

You deserved it

58777

Tweet

Share

By crakbbyaparently - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31740

You deserved it

1874

Tweet

Share

By sisi9999 - United States

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41896

You deserved it

3562

Tweet

Share

By Dammit - Canada

Today, I decided to be safe and tested a small dime-sized amount of Nair on my inner arm before using it. I didn't react badly. But as soon as it was washed off from my down-there hair I sure as hell reacted, with small bumpy red dots that look like an STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38395

You deserved it

13848

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Kidd_Ant | 18

#6604792 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:18

This, is what the FML photos were always meant to be.

By fakedsincerity | 32

#6604795 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:25

OPs day is going swimmingly.

COMMENTS

By Kidd_Ant | 18

#6604792 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:18

This, is what the FML photos were always meant to be.

By Tarlachia | 33

#6604794 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:21

My job includes the cleanup of such floods. This is worse than I've ever seen in all my 10 years of experience. I'm impressed and horrified at this.

By fakedsincerity | 32

#6604795 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:25

OPs day is going swimmingly.

Reply

TheNewGuy03 | 28

#6604816 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:51

Damn, that's deep.

Reply

fakedsincerity | 32

#6604824 - Friday 13 May 2016 13:05

I sea what you did there.

Reply

Kidd_Ant | 18

#6605090 - Friday 13 May 2016 20:22

Buoy, u guys are fun.

Reply

Liamj774 | 36

#6605278 - Saturday 14 May 2016 3:23

Yeah man, whatever floats their boat

Reply

The_Unlucky1 | 19

#6606040 - Sunday 15 May 2016 4:27

Water you trying to say?

By ThatLastKid | 21

#6604817 - Friday 13 May 2016 12:53

This is the best FML photo I have seen.

By Phantomsnake | 10

#6604823 - Friday 13 May 2016 13:03

Snorkeling is better than diving.

By jzidar24 | 12

#6604827 - Friday 13 May 2016 13:12

How does that even happen?!?!

Reply

TheGoatKing | 3

#6636721 - Sunday 26 June 2016 11:43

I wanna know too

By TMWhisp | 22

#6604857 - Friday 13 May 2016 14:30

Woohoo!

By rivimatt | 20

#6604881 - Friday 13 May 2016 15:00

First good FML photo

By falafelbooger | 1

#6604963 - Friday 13 May 2016 17:19

Are we sure that this image wasn't just taken from the web? It appears on a lot of "flood restoration" company's pages

Reply

ABlindMan | 17

#6605075 - Friday 13 May 2016 20:02

It doesn't HAVE to be by OP, I believe the photos are picked or something and then the top rated caption is applied to them if I'm understanding it correctly. Although that's what I got from what Alan said.

Reply

Kidd_Ant | 18

#6605094 - Friday 13 May 2016 20:24

There was a "contest" in a recent blog on FML. The best caption would be featured along with a photo they used in the blog to make your own.

By Baurusdavinci | 12

#6605141 - Friday 13 May 2016 21:59

Uh... Guys?

Almost %100 positive this is a rendered image from a computer program.

Reply

Dilexar | 26

#6624039 - Thursday 9 June 2016 3:59

explain yourself