By Anonymous - 22/7/2021 02:01

Romance isn't dead

  Today, it's been six months since I gave birth, and no matter how many times we've tried, my post baby body just doesn’t arouse my husband anymore. We still love each other, but for him to get a boner these days he has to watch a few minutes of porn first then keep his eyes closed during sex so he doesn’t go soft. FML
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By  Hangryko  |  18

Leave him. He sounds shallow, immature, and is disrespecting you immensely. You brought a child into this world with him and he should be more mindful of that fact. He has some nerve treating you like that after what you've been through and considering he was the one who impregnated you. You deserve better.

By  Chazzster  |  21

Before you give up or do anything rash, try talking to your Husband. What is it in specific is it that turns him off? By any chance was he in the delivery room? Did that experience have an impact on him or you?

And, of course turn the lights down a bit - Not off and dark, just not blazing bright.

Hopefully the two of you can work through this period and rekindle the sex drive. But without honest and non-judgmental conversation nothing gets worked out.

COMMENTS
By  Hangryko  |  18

Leave him. He sounds shallow, immature, and is disrespecting you immensely. You brought a child into this world with him and he should be more mindful of that fact. He has some nerve treating you like that after what you've been through and considering he was the one who impregnated you. You deserve better.

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  treehead42  |  10

People are fast to say "leave them" to every issue. A person can't control what they're attracted to, him having issues is a valid problem, not shallow immaturity. If they had a great relationship from before the baby (and maybe still do other than the sex problem) I believe in their ability to figure this out together!

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  Hangryko  |  18

Certainly, they can try to work this out together through therapy. Perhaps he's having mental health issues after the birth of their baby. I just can't help but see the major red flags in OP's post, especially since her husband hasn't done anything more than watching porn and shutting his eyes for months. There's still so many questions about their situation.

By  RichardPencil  |  30

That's why most people have sex in the dark.

Anyone who is attractive enough to have sex with the lights on is making porn. The rest of us need to give up on the visual aspect of boinking.

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  bleachedraven  |  14

🤣🤣🤣 he's not wrong

By  Chazzster  |  21

Before you give up or do anything rash, try talking to your Husband. What is it in specific is it that turns him off? By any chance was he in the delivery room? Did that experience have an impact on him or you?

And, of course turn the lights down a bit - Not off and dark, just not blazing bright.

Hopefully the two of you can work through this period and rekindle the sex drive. But without honest and non-judgmental conversation nothing gets worked out.

By  tgem  |  4

Porn would only be doing more damage in the long run honestly, when he keeps thinking that he could have something else, it'll put it in his mind to go looking for something else instead of appreciating you for who you are. You gave him a child, our bodies change, they never stay perky like they were in our young 20's

By  Doom_Kitty  |  4

Actually it hasn't neccessarily to do with you but more with the baby. Some men do have struggles to view mothers as sexual beings. Maybe it's that and he just doesn't know it? When you still love each other i'd definitely try therapy before leaving him.

By  Yummi_913  |  15

I second the suggestion for therapy. It's not uncommon for some new father's to also be affected by things like postpartum depression - which can cause erectile dysfunction, lack of libido, and other issues. It wouldn't hurt to get some professional insight if something might be going on.