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Artwork

By willbo - 18/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 91

You what now?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my rowing coach asked my teammates and me a question that I couldn’t quite hear. The answer should’ve been, “We rowed in pairs today” and I responded, “Only in Central Park.” The question was, “How did you row today?” not, “Have you rowed?” There was a long moment of silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 264

Don't be a dingdong

By Steve - 03/04/2021 22:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 2 828

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 27/01/2026 12:00

Today, I went to my ex-father-in-law’s funeral. The woman my husband cheated on me with, and blew up our marriage for, was mentioned in the eulogy, as well as her kids. Neither myself nor my kids were acknowledged, even though I was married to the evil bastard’s son for over 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 126

Dementia

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 22:00

Today, my former boss called to bitch me out for some computer issue he emailed me to fix three days ago. I quit my job there 7 months ago, and I had to hand my phone to my new manager to convince my old boss I really did quit and wasn’t just avoiding fixing the computer problem. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 67

External validation

By Anonymous - 09/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 105

Concentrate!

By Clowning - 03/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was at a job interview. I was doing OK until I reached the part where I had to do a demo. As I lifted my arms, I my shirt got caught on the button of my pants, exposing my belly button. I tried to discreetly adjust, I ended up getting way too distracted mid-demonstration. The interviewer looked at me like I was a circus act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 131

By Dumbass - 20/06/2009 06:01 - United States

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 39

What happened?

By ....ew - 05/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, after a short trip out of town, I came back late at night to the yard clean, the house swept and mopped, all the laundry done, and my son asleep. I was thrilled with my boyfriend, until I found him passed out, covered in spilled beer and piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 185

Bargain

By Pointless labor - 08/03/2026 00:00

Today, I've lost weight, given up beer, soda, and fast food, finished the house project backlog, cleaned the house, and gotten the kids on a chore regimen over the past seven months, all things my wife asked me to do to reduce her stress and revive her sex drive. Oh wait… she still won't have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 127

ALIENS!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to give a presentation on ancient civilizations. As a joke, my friend dared me to do the whole thing using puppets, which I thought it would be hilarious. Halfway through, I noticed the look on my professor's face and my classmates giggling. My professor has a phobia of puppets and I was the only one unaware of this fact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 173

Big baby

By Grow the fuck up, boy! - 29/10/2025 00:00

Today, I told my 15 year-old son that I was taking my wife to a fancy restaurant for her birthday, so he would be on his own tonight. Most teenagers would play video games, watch porn, and sneak a beer, which I would be okay with. He started crying and asked why he was "left out", then clung to my wife's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 184

Notice me Senpai

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 11:00

Today, I’m so in love with a guy that I will even take a drunken text from him if it means getting attention from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 627

I mean, come on…

By Anonymous - 28/02/2026 22:00

Today, a friend is refusing to pay her final portion on the vacation we’ve been planning for over a year. She's met a new guy and he’s uncomfortable with her going on a girls' trip. We’ve been planning this trip longer than she’s known him and it’s too close to the date for us to get a full refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 52

Humblebrag High

By danny - 23/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I've had a huge glow up since then, and I noticed plenty of women who never spoke to me at the time trying to hit it off with me. It seems the partners of some of those women got jealous and started pressing me. Now I'm getting bullied for being hot? FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 160

By Darwin - 02/05/2016 15:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my love life evolved. My wife left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 33

By offended - 07/04/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was putting the finishing touches on my portrait of a young boy in art class. I asked my teacher if she could help correct the bad parts of my portrait. She said, "Well that would take all day and I just don't have the time." She was serious. I thought this was my best work yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 51

Overrun

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 03:00

Today, after I warned my wife that keeping chickens wouldn’t be easy but no, she insisted on having 20 roaming around and at some point a wild cockerel got in, plus she clearly wasn’t finding all the eggs so a bunch of hidden eggs have started hatching. What once was 20 is now 67 and rising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 103

By human torch - 18/03/2010 15:22 - United States

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 52

What even is normal?

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 00:00 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after months and months of trying to get my blood pressure back up to normal, and try to get back to optimal health, my doctor told me I'll never get better for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 67

Objectification

By Jo… - 07/04/2024 20:00 - South Africa - Paarl

Today, I love my boyfriend very much don’t get me wrong, but we’re both still young and I don't want sex yet. I thought we were on the same page, I think we still are, but last night he attempted to make me horny. He said some dirty things and I'm not into that. I have big boobs, so guys hit on me a lot, but I thought he was different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 577

Rules are for squares

By He's old enough to know better! - 08/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my boss's oldest son challenged me to a chess game. I've been practicing a lot, so I decided to humor him. He was a challenging opponent; not because he was skilled, however, but because he was trying to cheat almost constantly. I felt exasperated, rather than accomplished, when I beat him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 74

By Chatons - 05/12/2013 06:52 - Switzerland

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 75

Bio mom situation is insane

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Perris

Today, my foster son’s adoption is once again being delayed thanks to his crackhead birth mom. Every time she gets a notice that we’re moving forward, she has some rando come forward pretending to be the bio dad, then we have to go through months of court and DNA tests. She’s done this 12 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 41

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 57

Gooner

By Anonymous - 15/12/2024 20:00

Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 164

Business is business

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 06:00

Today, my best friend and I were taking bikini selfies in my backyard hot tub when I caught my little brother peeping and taking photos from around a corner behind us. Now I know how he can afford his vapes, despite not having a job and being in middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 274

Content brainrot

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 12:00 - Russia - Barnaul

Today, I was going to the cinema when a motorcyclist was hit at an intersection. I wanted to find out how he was, but I couldn't get through the crowd with their phones out. Fuck, people, what's wrong with you? You're going to die like this, and they're just going to film you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 113

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 15:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 105

Shouldn't have said that!

By FML Approved - 15/09/2017 03:30 - France - Paris

Requesting nudes is always a delicate operation...

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 205

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The Top

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 185

You deserved it 5 142

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 209

You deserved it 5 310

Today, my little sister asked me to open a jar of pickles for her. I struggled a little until the lid busted open, and pickle juice poured over my pocket and the iPhone inside. My sister then sniffed the jar, made a disgusted face, and ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 867

You deserved it 3 859

Today, I bought my son a nice car for his 18th birthday. When I gave it to him, he just got mad and told me that if I really wanted to spend that much money on him, I should've used it to help him pay for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 068

You deserved it 55 673

Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 542

You deserved it 2 086

Today, I had to get a nail removed from my head after a nail gun incident. The nail was actually touching my brain but didn’t cause damage. Of course being a builder with typical builder mates, the joke now is that I’m so brainless even getting shot in the head doesn’t make a difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 180