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The all-time greatest FMLs

Public transportation blues

By Frankie - 08/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I leaned against a bus window and felt something wet soak into my shoulder. I turned and realized I had just pressed into someone’s half-eaten tuna sandwich wedged into the seat crack. I went on to smelling like fish and mayo all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 87

My body hates me

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, some things that are hard for many people are easy for me, like learning languages, being thrifty, and organizing my life efficiently. On the other hand, some things that are easy for most people are near impossible for me, like feeling well-rested after 8 hours of sleep. Or converting food into energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 165

Passive agressive on a whole new level

By Joe Bloggs - 30/09/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was at my usual coffee shop when I overheard a couple at the next table arguing about how to break up. They decided to have a “Breakup Party” and invited everyone around them, including me, right there and then. I ended up eating free cake while watching their weird, messy breakup unfold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 135

Scammers gonna scam

By Leah Magers - 19/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Ames

Today, my friend went to jail after shoplifting over 2000$ worth of Apple Pay cards for her online boyfriend. We have all told her it's a scam and she is facing five years in prison. She won't listen to anyone and won't believe he's a con artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 113

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 12/05/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 298

Deer in headlights

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, at my new job waitressing, I walked into a glass door at full speed while carrying a tray of drinks. Not only did I spill everything, but I also left a weird make up face print on the glass for everyone to laugh at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 154

Thanksgiving? I hate it!

By Philomena - 28/11/2024 14:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, it's Thanksgiving and I've spent the last few days imploring my husband not to antagonize my Trump-loving family by talking about the fact that they didn't look into what tariffs were at the time, and now they might have to close their business. Wish me luck… FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 275

Panic!

By Only an orange cat... - 22/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I found out two things about my new cat: One, he is afraid of thunder. Two, his reaction to hearing a loud thunderclap is to jump very high in the air with his claws extended, then run like hell. I discovered this when he jumped and landed right on my face. My face now looks like I smashed it into a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 122

Not a geography major

By Yulia - 19/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 68

Chonky boi

By Drowned - 08/01/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I had a nightmare where I was drowning in the ocean. Was it because I'm unable to swim in real life? Good guess, but no. It was actually because I forgot to close my bedroom door in real life, and my very fluffy cat entered and decided to lie down on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 186

I've got a lot going on, OK?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 15:00 - South Africa

Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 97

Fair is fair

By Loss - 21/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my deceased dad left his entire considerable estate to charity because it was "fairer" than trying to divide it evenly between his three kids. Some of our properties have been in our family since Jefferson was President. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 150

It's a deal

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my husband bought his fifth car in two years. He doesn't wreck them, but he keeps buying old junk cars "for a bargain" that are one bad day away from being scrapped. The last one lasted two months before the frame broke in half from rust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 83

Talking shit

By Anonymous - 10/03/2026 15:00

Today, I found out our street has a community Facebook we’ve never been invited to join because it's used exclusively to chat shit about our family and post pics and videos of us doing things “the community” doesn’t like. Such as dog walking after 9pm and planting bushes instead of flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 83

Be unprepared

By Anonymous - 01/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 80

Communication unclear

By Anonymous - 24/11/2023 18:00 - Germany

Today, I said to my man, "You used to tell me you love me, but lately you don’t even want me telling you." He responded with a story about his clogged shower drain and then couldn’t understand why I got upset, because apparently this was his “reply to the question I asked.” WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 145

OCD FML

By k…… - 13/10/2021 11:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I watched a tutorial video on YouTube. In the video, the guy had several apps with 50+ red notification dots on them, and it bothered me so much that I couldn’t even finish the video. I couldn’t find a single other video that could help me with my particular issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 772

Toasted

By Nathan - 26/11/2024 15:00 - Australia

Today, I spent an hour preparing a heartfelt speech for my friend’s wedding. I stood up, got emotional, and promptly fainted, spilling a glass of wine all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 156

Heartwarming

By Gilbert - 04/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Buena Vista

Today, I made a snowman with my little sister. We spent ages rolling snowballs and decorating it with a scarf and hat. When we'd finished, she hugged it so hard that it collapsed. She cried, so I promised to build another one. It’s been three hours, my fingers are numb, but her smile is worth it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 127

Bonding moment

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 13:59 - United States

Today, I wanted my son to take a break from his comic books and be more active, so I converted our big backyard into a home-sized football field, hoping this would motivate him to finally get into sports. While I had him running drills, I heard him grumble, "This is why mom left you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 2 397

Pineapple juice

By Anonymous - 26/12/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend when she said, "Babe, I'm not trying to be rude but your cum tastes horrible." I didn't know how to respond so I said, "Okay." Apparently, me saying that means i won't try to make my cum taste better, which I can "definitely do", and now she's mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 304

No comment

By Framed guy - 01/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I said to a coworker, “Epstein didn’t kill himself” in our office, as a joke response to something he'd said. Later, someone from HR pulled me aside and said, “We don’t comment on ongoing investigations.” I work at a dog food company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 134

The war on drugs

By Anonymous - 29/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad caught me vaping. From the volume of his yelling, you’d think he caught me sniffing cocaine out of a prostitute's ass crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 1 241

Sharing my journey

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 142

Red tape

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 00:00 - Latvia - Riga

Today, I've been waiting for a response for a grant application that I need for my salary in January. I applied for it in June. Initially, they said that they would send out answers in November, then changed it to December. Three days before Xmas, I got a rejection. Now I'll be spending my holidays looking for more grants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 118

I didn't ask for this

By SoWhat - 06/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, an annoying ex-coworker I have ignored for 15 years sent me an e-mail to "inform me of her new address." The e-mail actually enclosed a video of her touring the new house and garden like a realtor. I skipped to the end where she humblebrags about how "grateful" she is "to be blessed with this property." FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 129

By australian6196 - 05/02/2014 02:36 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 72

Can't be arsed

By Roy - 23/03/2024 09:00 - Netherlands - Voorburg

Today, l remembered the second time my then-future-wife and I had sex; she soundly feel asleep during the act. According to her, this was because she felt so comfortable with me. Well my friends, she has increasingly got more comfortable with me in the past 20 years. Very, very comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 165

Great move

By TheGreatAndPowerfulDerp - 13/09/2020 05:02

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. Knowing how much more it would cost in the long run, I handed the officer my license with $300 in cash, "as something to consider for just a warning." He came back with a ticket and verbally warned me that police bribery is a felony. He kept the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 4 180

By princeronron - 08/09/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 117

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The Top

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 704

You deserved it 3 518

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 300

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 930

You deserved it 4 783

Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 796

You deserved it 4 323

Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 007

You deserved it 6 550

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 526

You deserved it 44 562