Intimacy, Sex, Frustration and Phobias: In the mood - FML

In the mood

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 08:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Spicy

Today, it's been awhile since I've had decent sex. I was "in the mood" after being sick for two weeks, so I pulled out my little "bedroom friend." Right on the verge of a really big O, I spotted a giant spider about 3 ft over my head, which completely killed my lady boner. Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? FML

agreeclassic 435

vote type 1 200

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Spider-Maaaaaaan

By 8 Legs plus 1 - 08/05/2020 14:00 - United Kingdom

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Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky. She went to the bathroom momentarily, only to be greeted by a 'huge' spider, which disappeared under a cabinet. Due to her chronic arachnophobia, this instantly turned her off and caused her paranoia all night. I essentially got cock-blocked by a spider. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 02:22 - United States - Purchase

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Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

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By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

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Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

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Today, whilst pleasuring myself in my bedroom, I began absent-mindedly staring at a spider on the ceiling. It wasn't until the point of climax that I realised that I was, in effect, masturbating over a spider. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 01:00 - Finland

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Today, I was in my bed masturbating when I felt something on my chest. I looked down to see a spider running around. I'm super scared of spiders. FML

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By sad-boing - 02/10/2015 21:01 - United Kingdom - Dartford

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Today, my hormones are so screwed, I popped a boner at the sight of two grasshoppers mating and had to retire to my room for a wank. FML

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By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

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By Punk - 07/06/2011 20:07 - United States

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Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on for the first time. Just as I was about to climax, I spotted my greatest fear, a big wasp, only a few inches away from me. I shuddered and made a very unmanly orgasm wail. She now refuses to have sex because she says I "turned her off forever". FML

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By anonymous - 24/11/2015 19:38 - Switzerland - Unterageri

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Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML

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By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

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tiptoppc 19

Wednesday 28 August 2024 13:58

Yes. Yes there is. You found it too

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tiptoppc 19

Wednesday 28 August 2024 13:58

Yes. Yes there is. You found it too

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