Today, in the magazine section of a bookstore, an old dude asked... - FML

Today, in the magazine section of a bookstore, an old dude asked me politely to grab something that he couldn't reach. I did so with a smile, touched by his "nice old guy" demeanour, only glancing at the item in question as I handed it to him. It was a porn mag. FML

By Alan - 6/2/2015 10:48

Gib's illustrated FML

Hell is full of a certain type of person. The people who eat boiled eggs on trains. The people who cut their finger and toenails on...

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By beurk / Friday 6 February 2015 05:18 / France

All for nothing

Deep-seated resentment

Doomed

By moe - 15/2/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/6/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

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By lulumars - 14/6/2015 17:06 - United States

Today, I finally confronted my mom about how I felt about her three divorces. She then explained that she went through the divorces because I failed to keep the house clean. FML

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By absentminded - 11/3/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML

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By missedfistbump - 20/3/2013 14:31 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boss and he said I was awesome. He went to fist bump me and I missed. FML

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By Insane Guy - 21/12/2012 06:47 - United States

Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML

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By ItchyGirl - 9/10/2016 12:07 - Australia - Geelong

Today, I've got the worst eczema I've had in 25 years. It's spread to the worst possible spot: right where my thighs touch when I walk. FML

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By Jokkim - 20/6/2016 18:24 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I found out I got a 97 on my physics final exam. I was curious about the question I missed, so I went up to my teacher and asked. He was very confused and checked my grade again before telling me, "Oh my bad, it was meant to be a 79." FML

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By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

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By Watchingmyfigure - 6/12/2016 17:55 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML

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By drop dead single - 22/11/2014 13:44 - United States

Today, on our third date, my date tried to get me drunk and kept trying to touch me up. When I said he was moving too fast, he sighed and soon left. Just minutes later, he posted on Facebook saying "Just got friendzoned -_-". One of his friends commented: "I hate bitches, man." FML

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By scarred4life - 27/4/2011 14:05 - Canada

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/2/2016 05:14 - Canada - North Battleford

Today, my mother accused me of "cooking cocaine", after she found a slightly discoloured spoon in my room. FML

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By iworkatofficedepothomes - 15/5/2014 12:02 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

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By mala_19 - 12/6/2017 14:00 - Sweden

Today, at work, I had to help a teenager who was stuck in a toy car for kids, and no, it was not in one piece when she finally got out. FML

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By Anon - 18/5/2011 11:47 - United States

Today, we got a new dry-erase board, and I drew the Gotham City skyline complete with the Bat Signal. Later, I went downstairs, only to find my mom had written "BATMAN'S GAY" over the top of the picture. FML

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By meow - 14/1/2010 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/2/2012 21:07 - Belgium

Today, my mother used global warming as an excuse for not remembering my birthday. FML

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By Jim - 9/10/2017 13:00

Today, I was walking to the bus for my first day at my new school. I tripped in the darkness and split my chin open and broke my arm. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/6/2014 10:11 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML

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By feel so dirty - 11/1/2018 09:00

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/2/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I was driving with my mom. She had some soda with her from earlier, and even though it was probably warm, I was thirsty. I ask for a sip, she hands it to me and says sure. And I get a mouthful of ash-and-cigarette-butt-filled soda. Apparently she didn't feel the need to mention this to me. FML

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By hello to you too - 30/8/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

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By Chicketi - 11/2/2009 14:45 - Canada

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

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By no good deed - 23/7/2020 20:02

It's the thought that counts

Today, I was feeling pretty down due to a recent back injury, so I thought I’d do something nice to help lift my spirits. I bought some cookies for my coworkers, who ended up not wanting any, and one of them decided to ask what was wrong with my face. Oh, right, my acne rosacea is flaring too. FML

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By dammitrain - 13/7/2010 19:43 - United States

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/10/2010 23:19 - Brazil

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

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By annoyed - 10/2/2009 03:59 - United States

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

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By Tea_baggins - 6/8/2013 04:01 - Australia - Rozelle

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

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By Cheer4Life - 11/11/2013 21:41 - United States - Bloomington

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

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By catt - 17/10/2014 20:12 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/8/2009 07:18 - Canada

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

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By omnomnom - 5/2/2011 00:29 - Canada

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

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By Ohgodmother - 28/2/2014 09:06 - Australia - Hobart

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

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By FirmlyInEngland - 17/9/2009 09:23 - United Kingdom

Today, the boy I have crush on at school announced that his family were moving to Australia. My friend thought that it would be funny to spread a rumour that I was moving too, in order to follow him. Everyone has heard it, and unfortunately everyone believes it, including him. FML

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By Dogmom - 14/9/2017 23:15

Today, I overheard my manager tell a customer that it's perfectly safe for dogs to eat grapes if they're seedless. I work in a pet store. FML

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By fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc - 2/4/2014 21:22 - Denmark - Herning

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/9/2014 19:39 - United States - Derry

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

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By womanoski - 20/2/2016 17:56 - United States - Fishers

Today, while taking a bus full of loud, rambunctious elementary children to school, the bus slowly slid off the road into a ditch. After waiting 30 minutes that felt like hours, I saw the tow truck arriving from the opposite direction also slide slowly off the roadway into the opposite ditch. FML

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Top comments

By RabbitOfAurora | 28

#6194413 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:50

Hey, old people need porn just like everyone else.

By Cass_x | 22

#6194415 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:51

Well who cares? If they sell it, people are gonna buy it. Let the old man have some fun.

COMMENTS

By RabbitOfAurora | 28

#6194413 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:50

Hey, old people need porn just like everyone else.

Reply

patrickalamo | 47

#6195439 - Saturday 7 February 2015 17:27

Need is a strong word...

Reply

LikeYouGiveAShit | 27

#6196613 - Sunday 8 February 2015 21:38

That's why 1 used it.

By Jasim | 17

#6194414 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:51

Hey, a good deed is a good deed.

Reply

HDMi127 | 10

#6206493 - Thursday 19 February 2015 5:30

seriously?

By Cass_x | 22

#6194415 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:51

Well who cares? If they sell it, people are gonna buy it. Let the old man have some fun.

By Exodiafinder687 | 58

#6194417 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:53

Hey, just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean that he doesn't need to rub one out every now and then...........at least I think that's how that saying goes.

Reply

VbPretend | 7

#6199072 - Wednesday 11 February 2015 5:07

Eh close enough

By camerongrace92 | 9

#6194419 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:54

let the ol man have his fun. when I'm 80 I'm still gonna buy porn.

Reply

RabbitOfAurora | 28

#6194422 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:56

I don't know about buying it, I'll definitely still be looking at it though.

By phaelnb | 26

#6194420 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:55

You are complaining because and old gentleman politely asked you a favor? People that buy porn can't be polite? Is that why you felt awkward?

Reply

Mr_Guy_Dude | 17

#6217671 - Sunday 1 March 2015 7:30

Idk about you but I would feel pretty awkward if I saw an old man buying porn magazines.

Reply

deathshead | 19

#6350367 - Tuesday 14 July 2015 13:50

old people are still people, they can and will buy porn if they feel like it.

By Pink185054 | 16

#6194424 - Friday 6 February 2015 12:00

I don't see how this is an FML for you considering it doesn't directly affect you. But if you're going to judge the old man for reading porn then YDI.

By fsomelife | 26

#6194428 - Friday 6 February 2015 12:02

The item he asked you to grab could've been way worse. Be glad he chose to use the magazine.

By albertozeta_fml | 9

#6194433 - Friday 6 February 2015 12:08

Ah, the dear old school. Nowadays young men have internet and the only thing they have to grab is... the mouse!

Reply

jojimugo | 20

#6194686 - Friday 6 February 2015 17:26

That's not the only thing they grab

By acommonman | 23

#6194434 - Friday 6 February 2015 12:09

perhaps he wanted to destroy it, to rid the world of porn in a small way?

nah. old men have desires as well, OP.