You go Glenn Coco!

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 17:07

Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 351

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 1 416

Works out well

By Ann - 18/03/2013 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 515

You deserved it 9 233

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 04:09

Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 070

You deserved it 364

By soisblueballsdickhead - 26/10/2014 14:25 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 043

You deserved it 9 713

By cmore - 11/03/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 063

You deserved it 5 652

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 352

You deserved it 3 458

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 307

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 886

You deserved it 9 239

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 684

You deserved it 69 141

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 20 October 2020 17:24

To be fair, not everyone feels comfortable having something stuck in their asshole. He could have toned down the melodrama, but you probably should have started with a finger or a toy to make sure he liked it before you tried your ****. These words of wisdom have been brought to you by hetero dude #5396432088, and Chik-Fil-A.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Tuesday 20 October 2020 20:03

Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 20 October 2020 17:24

Iamthebanzai22 21

Tuesday 20 October 2020 20:03

Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 21 October 2020 2:59

You watch too much ****. Enjoying anal doesn't happen by magic, especially if you've never been the bottom before.

Jaymail 18

Wednesday 21 October 2020 0:55

Anal REALLY is uncomfortable unless the person is able to completely relax. Otherwise the Anus gets really tight and fights against ANYTHING being inserted there. That’s what’s really uncomfortable. Ever seen 2 moose’s with full antlers pushing against each other? Look it up on YouTube if you haven’t.

revolutionbabe 15

Wednesday 21 October 2020 4:06

I recommend using some silicone lube that has a relaxer in it. It will relax the muscles and not hurt as much. I use Swiss Navy Anal Lubricant which has a relaxer. I hope he continues trying to be bottom

therainbowfaerie_ 8

Thursday 22 October 2020 0:25

If I'm gonna top we do oral and small toys for a long time before we get to it or he just isnt relaxed enough, sounds like you guys just need to slow things down next time you try