You go Glenn Coco!

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 17:07

Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 334

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 04:09

Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 048

You deserved it 354

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 393

You deserved it 1 397

Works out well

By Ann - 18/03/2013 14:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 494

You deserved it 9 225

By he’s just terrible at it! - 30/10/2018 03:00

Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 018

You deserved it 428

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 314

You deserved it 4 307

Acting is hard work

By S. Dub - 10/04/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 290

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 025

You deserved it 4 509

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 459

You deserved it 261

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 962

You deserved it 5 496

By cmore - 11/03/2010 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 982

You deserved it 5 631

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 20 October 2020 17:24

To be fair, not everyone feels comfortable having something stuck in their asshole. He could have toned down the melodrama, but you probably should have started with a finger or a toy to make sure he liked it before you tried your ****. These words of wisdom have been brought to you by hetero dude #5396432088, and Chik-Fil-A.

Iamthebanzai22 20

Tuesday 20 October 2020 20:03

Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Tuesday 20 October 2020 17:24

Iamthebanzai22 20

Tuesday 20 October 2020 20:03

Anal is not supposed to be painful if you do it right. Open him up with a few fingers, LUBE UP, and then work your way in.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Wednesday 21 October 2020 2:59

You watch too much ****. Enjoying anal doesn't happen by magic, especially if you've never been the bottom before.

Jaymail 18

Wednesday 21 October 2020 0:55

Anal REALLY is uncomfortable unless the person is able to completely relax. Otherwise the Anus gets really tight and fights against ANYTHING being inserted there. That’s what’s really uncomfortable. Ever seen 2 moose’s with full antlers pushing against each other? Look it up on YouTube if you haven’t.

revolutionbabe 15

Wednesday 21 October 2020 4:06

I recommend using some silicone lube that has a relaxer in it. It will relax the muscles and not hurt as much. I use Swiss Navy Anal Lubricant which has a relaxer. I hope he continues trying to be bottom

therainbowfaerie_ 8

Thursday 22 October 2020 0:25

If I'm gonna top we do oral and small toys for a long time before we get to it or he just isnt relaxed enough, sounds like you guys just need to slow things down next time you try