The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Wishful thinking

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me she’s pregnant and we went through the whole range of emotions together, surprise, happiness, tears, anger, acceptance, you name it. An hour later she said she wanted to save the pregnancy test for memories. Guess she forgot her glasses, it very clearly says NOT pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 105

Bigfoot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 00:00

Today, after my daughter had a cast on her broken leg for 14 weeks, she got it removed this morning. She was bawling her eyes out because she never realised her leg hair would keep growing under the plaster; 14 weeks worth of growth. She didn’t cry this much back when she broke the leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 97

Karen of the day

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 115

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 261

Shortass

By Anonymous - 11/07/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 127

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 17:01

Today, I went to the emergency room with my boyfriend, only to sit there for 3 hours waiting for him to be seen, then having an argument with him about how impatient I am because they never called his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 944

Trans rights! (but also trans wrongs)

By Please bathe - 19/03/2026 12:00

Today, I made my trans daughter cry when I asked her to shower. I love her and full-throatily support her incredible courage for coming out as trans in the USA, but her hygiene has gone to hell. She smells like a pile of dirty jockstraps and keeps saying, "Women don't stink!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 226

Whatever works

By Anonymous - 20/11/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I found out how my high school dropout parents were able to support three children. Porn. A truly awe inspiring amount of homemade porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 142

Rosy picture

By Heartbroken - 03/03/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my son complained that he didn't want to go to school. My husband asked, "Want to swap? You can go work all day, come home tired, and your only reward is a whiny wife and bratty child griping and complaining and expecting you to fix every problem." Part of me died when I heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 470

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 281

Teenage riot

By Anonymous - 14/02/2024 12:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I got dumped by a friend because she said I was "too much." She's treated me like shit and basically ignored me at times since the beginning of the school year, in favor of hanging out with another friend. I guess years of friendship really can disappear overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 129

Homestuck

By Anonymous - 21/01/2024 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I tried to book another train to go back to college for the spring after my first train was cancelled, only for it to be cancelled again, and there were no buses, nor did my parents want to drive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 95

This pandemic is ruining our health in so many ways

By Anonymous - 21/02/2021 20:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I'm in pretty good physical shape. No, wait, that was two years ago. Now I need to take a break after brushing each quadrant of my teeth because my arm gets tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 689

Kinda based

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 09:00

Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 68

Thought crime

By Son of a BITCH - 22/09/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, while babysitting a 9-year-old boy, I stubbed my toe on a coffee table. I yelled, "SON OF A…" but managed to stop myself before saying the last part. The boy yelled, "You were gonna say bitch! I'm telling mom and dad!" and, despite my desperate attempts to dissuade him, he did just that. Guess who's fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 106

By ice4eva - 21/06/2019 14:05

Today, I was eating pizza and I started bitching about how our campus doesn't have any healthy food choices, and that I was forced to eat this disgusting, greasy pizza. My friend then pointed out that I was standing next to the salad bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 3 605

Seen a ghost

By Anonymous - 28/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, you know that cute video of the girl waking up from anaesthesia, seeing her boyfriend and calling him cute even though she’s drugged up? Yeah, good for him. Meanwhile, my husband just woke up from his surgery all drugged up, looked at me, and said, "Ew, Grandma, I thought you were dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 114

Going well, isn't it?

By Abandon - 20/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, it was supposed to be my night off from the baby. Instead, my wife said she "couldn't even begin to deal", so she locked herself in the bedroom and I had to watch both my baby and my stepson, who both became hyper-needy the second she shut the door. This is the fifth time in a row. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 199

Masterchef

By Todd - 18/09/2020 17:00

Today, I bought tomato sauce and tomato paste to make rigatoni. Forgot to buy the meat and the pasta. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 989

Shopaholic

By Permanently broke - 06/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my yearly bonus finally hit my bank account while I was busy at work. Hurrah! Unfortunately, I'm married, so by the time I got a second of free time to check my phone, my email was full of my wife's online shopping receipts, including a non-refundable cruise. I wish we could save money… FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 157

Nothing's Going Right

By FML Approved - 04/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

It's hard to turn things around sometimes.

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 113

Cough cough

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, right now, for some reason my dad is sat in the living room masturbating. In our house you have to go through the living room to reach the front door, as there's no access to the front of the house if I go out the back to the garden. It’s been a while. If he doesn’t hurry up I’ll be late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 109

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 00:02 - Germany

Today, I gave myself a major foodgasm by creating an absolutely yummy egg and mushroom salad with mustard. Turns out, though, that my digestive abilities are not quite as good as my culinary ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 180

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 15/10/2023 08:30

Today, I was lectured by my mom who saw me trying to play on my Switch during a weekday. The thing is, she doesn't even give me any time to play in the week, and then calls me out whenever I try to get a few decent hours on my Meta Quest and Switch during the weekends. Stop dictating me; give me a goddamn break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 448

Charming dude

By HittingDaGymNow - 05/11/2025 03:00

Today, my now-ex boyfriend said that his dream girl has big breasts. When I pointed out that I have big breasts, he told me that, “But you’re plus-sized, that don’t count. I’m talking 'bout girls with hourglass figures, not big back bitches.” Nice to know that’s how he felt about me this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 163

Bad time for insurance denials

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my car broke down dead in the middle of the highway. As I was unable to get it out of the road, it was impounded, and my insurance won't help. Now I'm further in debt and struggling to get to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 85

Pink tax

By Mel - 01/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I got my period early. While traveling. For a funeral. I had to walk through two entire airport terminals to find a shop that had any period products, and the only option was an $18 box of tampons. Six tampons, to be precise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 107

By birthdayfun - 23/03/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My mom decided to wake me up by having our new, previously stray, cat thrown on top of me. I was awoken to two claws ripping across my face which needed 16 stitches to fix. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 39

By Anonymous - 01/03/2009 20:02 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my mother asking me if I was okay. Confused, I asked her what she meant. She then told me that my boyfriend had broken up with me, and she just wanted to make sure I was handling it alright. I had to find out my relationship was over from my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 43

Acceptance

By Leesa - 15/03/2026 15:00

Today, it's my 16th birthday, a time meant to be a big day, so it felt right to tell my family I'm a lesbian. My dad and two brothers were fine with it; my bros hugged me to show support, and dad said he'd hang with me if I needed a pal to discuss girls with. My mom, well… who knew being gay made me "a bitch who betrayed her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 132

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The Top

Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 654

You deserved it 5 919

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 074

You deserved it 90 224

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 934

You deserved it 4 182

Today, my mother sat me down to tell me that since coming home from college, I sounded like "a liberated woman." She was disappointed and disturbed by this, and said that I should stop having strong opinions and ideals because it would make finding a husband for me difficult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 129

You deserved it 7 384

Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 206

Today, I'm on vacation in Germany and in our seemingly normal hotel my fucking door won't stop opening and closing by itself, and I can't fucking sleep. Jesus Christ ghost, go away, I don't wanna die as well. I thought this hotel would be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 1 449