By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 04:00
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Sounds like postnatal depression - please speak to your Dr, as they can put things into place to help you xx
Sounds like PPD, as others are saying. After I gave birth to my twins, I couldn't even look at them or touch them until the next day. Our bodies go through soooooo... much. I can't imagine how hard IVF can be, and to go through it twice... Please get support, both with your baby and your feelings. It'll get better, I promise.
I can absolutely imagine myself feeling this way after having a kid, so I make sure that it will never happen. I think people have this idea in their head of how things are 'supposed' to be and everything will be fine. But in reality, some people just can't do it. Get help, and don't let your child grow up in that atmosphere. Adoption is an option also.
Don't project your own anger. This sounds alot more like PPD than like "not wanting kids." Some fantastic moms I know went through this - and not just post pardum, but some had this during their pregnancy. One said: "It is strange to want and to love something so much while also hating it with every cell of my body." Another: "I adore her, but I make a point of talking about how much I hated my daughter when she was born and being real about my pregnancy, because people don't, and I thought I was the only one who hated everything about it for so long." Either time or medication relieved this symptom in my friends, and they're all wonderful mums now.
Lovely, you will get no judgement from me. Take a breath, you will be okay. The IVF process isn't easy and you probably have unresolved trauma from the stress of everything. Book an appointment with your doctor, so they can forward you onto someone you can talk to. Your feelings are real, and valid. x
Literally linked my account to come here and echo the others. Talk to your doctor about how you feel. If they judge you or refuse to help then demand another opinion. You are worth advocating for and so is your child. PPD is much more common than people talk about. You are valuable. Take care of yourself.