Health, Sex and Covid: Social distancing is a thing - FML

Social distancing is a thing

By Anonymous - 05/01/2022 19:58 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I met a guy at a bar. Went home, got condoms, had sex. Also got Covid. First one night stand in four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 1 631

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Same thing different taste

Horny horny horny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I’m so desperate I hooked up with a guy who has Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 2 070

Unmasked

By crushedgal - 30/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I found out I have Covid, from a guy who ghosted me last week after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 628

Forget me not

By ohgodwhyfml - 28/11/2015 14:32 - United States - Danbury

Spicy

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 079

You deserved it 3 232

Dodgy

By jsw029 - 26/02/2009 04:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and, about 30 seconds in, he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek, and leaves. It turns out that he'd already came. I called his phone - wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 162

You deserved it 20 925

By sad_gay - 16/04/2009 08:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 259

You deserved it 17 041

By ahhh - 03/08/2015 06:06 - United States - Northbrook

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months and I had sex for the first time last night. This afternoon he texted me saying, "I had an amazing night with you yesterday." Following that text he said, "I forgot to tell you I have an STD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 981

You deserved it 7 356

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 626

By stillkindahorny - 13/09/2011 05:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 806

You deserved it 4 729

Don't hate the playa…

By Dannikins - 05/11/2020 01:01 - United States - San Antonio

Today, the guy I've been looking forward going on a date with had to cancel due to Covid. This wouldn't have been an issue, if I didn't see him later that night posting about him at a bar with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 102

By Anonymous - 28/12/2017 06:00

Spicy

Today, I went home with a guy I met at the bar. I warned him that I was on my period, but he said it was fine. Not only was the sex awful, I woke up to find that he'd smeared period blood on my face in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 916

You deserved it 7 174

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 January 2022 20:12

You have to put the condom over your mouth AND nose to be fully protected from Covid. Come on, man!

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 5 January 2022 20:44

And you're surprised by this?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 5 January 2022 20:12

You have to put the condom over your mouth AND nose to be fully protected from Covid. Come on, man!

randybryant799 20

Wednesday 5 January 2022 20:44

And you're surprised by this?

Aiden89 23

Wednesday 5 January 2022 20:51

Could of got HIV, so not so bad?

dumblonde76 3

Thursday 6 January 2022 4:45

Vivid sucks but Herpes lasts forever

JackWood 20

Thursday 6 January 2022 8:47

Bars are the best place to find Covid

Grizz8831 14

Thursday 6 January 2022 11:38

the BC government has been telling people a while now and nobody seems to listen. If you are going to have anonymous sex, use a glory hole to prevent the spread of covid.

Brightside86 30

Thursday 6 January 2022 17:26

If you wanted to get covid a bar would be an excellent place to accomplish that. Though I wouldn't feel too bad, getting covid seems inevitable. My doctor tells me most of the people testing positive for covid had already been vaccinated.

Slim87R 7

Thursday 6 January 2022 23:24

Womp womp. At least you got a fun night out of it. Or I hope you did at least.

GameofLife29 1

Friday 7 January 2022 6:18

Well it least it wasn't STD.

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The Top

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 559

You deserved it 351

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 299

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 700

You deserved it 8 465

Today, a photographer came to take photos of my house for listing. While showing her around, she said, “I’ll just get this hair tie out of the shot” and picked it up. It wasn’t a hair tie. It was my rubber cock ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 1 351

Today, after sitting for hours at my desk, my legs fell asleep. When I got up to go to the bathroom on my break, I couldn't walk properly and leaned against things so I wouldn't fall over. My supervisor then came over and started lecturing me about being drunk at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 530

You deserved it 4 618

Today, my dad explained to me the "chain of command" for our house. McKinley, Mom, himself, Charlie, then me. McKinley is my two year old daughter and Charlie is the dog. He was dead serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 118

You deserved it 5 724

Today, I was fired for telling a customer's kid to shut his mouth. As revenge, I sent the CEO a picture I acquired months ago of my boss drunkenly pissing on a cow. He wrote that it was the funniest thing he had ever seen, and that I am "clearly an insufferable killjoy; a total liability to the company." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 674

You deserved it 37 240

Today, I accidentally unmuted my mic during a class, and normally it would've just been silence, but dumb old me just had to sing a song at the top of my lungs, and I only stopped when my phone blew up with notifications. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 1 154