Health, Gross, Relatable and Diets: No pain, no gain - FML

No pain, no gain

By Anonymous - 12/05/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, it's been a week since I got a gastric balloon to help me lose weight. On the plus side, I've lost 5kg. On the downside, it's been one week of vomiting, diarrhea, not being able to eat solid food, and stomach cramps so painful that it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. 15 weeks to go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 278

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Same thing different taste

Is it worth all that?

By Anonymous - 09/06/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I might need to get my gallbladder removed, due to the rapid weight loss I've had since having a gastric balloon put in. This is on top of all the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and cramping so bad it feels like I'm constantly being stabbed. I'm only 2 months in, with another 2 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 206

No pain, no gain

By skinny & doomed - 06/06/2021 20:01

Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 223

Yoyo

By jetpack girl - 22/02/2023 22:00

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 106

By bummed - 10/01/2010 05:35 - United States

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 429

You deserved it 31 771

Skinny issues

By maisie - 31/03/2021 21:30

Today, after a few months of trying to gain weight due to being severely underweight, I got a stomach flu and lost every single pound I put on, and then some. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 81

By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 18:25 - United States

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 473

You deserved it 3 271

Don't attempt this

By jammy - 25/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 281

Barf!

By TPelekakis - 08/06/2016 17:01 - United States - Kingsport

Today, I lost the 5 pounds I had gained over the last few weeks. I had vowed to do whatever it took to lose that weight, and I actually did, when I caught a horrible stomach bug. I'd eat my words, but I'm pretty sure I'd just end up throwing them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 777

You deserved it 1 048

Silver-brown linings

By Isa - 22/09/2021 11:00

Today, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a couple of weeks ago. The upside is that the diabetic meds I've been prescribed help with weight loss. The takeaway? Diarrhea. Lots and lots of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 116

My idea of fun

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting "goo", which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 742

You deserved it 3 910

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 12 May 2022 14:55

I set this story to "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies. It's funner that way.

Brightside86 30

Saturday 14 May 2022 12:33

Congrats on pulling the trigger and getting the procedure. Studies show its one of very few long term effective options.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 12 May 2022 14:55

I set this story to "One Week" by the Barenaked Ladies. It's funner that way.

Brightside86 30

Saturday 14 May 2022 12:33

Congrats on pulling the trigger and getting the procedure. Studies show its one of very few long term effective options.

Miss_Red 18

Saturday 17 December 2022 14:47

sweetie, I don't think you're supposed to be eating solid food a week after surgery. Didn't your surgeon tell you this?

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Today, I came home from the minimum-wage job I suffer through to support my now ex-boyfriend's ailing music career. It seems his time management skills suck almost as badly as his music, because I found him in my bedroom, licking whipped cream off my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 880

You deserved it 4 570

Today, I was told “unofficially” that I should stop wearing brown scrubs to work. More than one patient complained to the front desk and said they thought I was naked when I walked into the room. My scrubs aren’t even tight. I'm pretty sure it’s my brown skin that bothers them more than brown scrubs. FML

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You deserved it 176

The Top

Today, I worked a full day and then went to a three-hour class. I got home at 9 PM, and before the door closed I heard, "There's a sink full of dishes for you." There are three able-bodied men in the house, all of whom got here hours ago and created that sink full of dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 908

You deserved it 4 733

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 574

You deserved it 21 036

Today, I told my roommate that I was trying to lose weight, so she kindly removed all the junk food from the kitchen. I just found it all hidden under her bed. Apparently, she didn’t trust me enough to resist temptation, and she was absolutely correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 680

Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 077

You deserved it 2 544

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 575

You deserved it 3 741

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 360

You deserved it 2 926