Today, I witnessed my girlfriend eat the dead skin from the soles of her feet. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Dude, gross
Today, I watched my boyfriend pick all the dead skin off of his feet, and then fling it at me. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
We all do it. Don't we?
Today, I saw my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML
Smells like victory
Today, I opened my front door to be greeted by what I can only describe as the stink of death. After moving furniture and lifting floorboards, frantically searching for whatever had died, I finally discovered the actual source of the stench - my girlfriend's feet. FML
Etiquette
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Yeet the feet
Today, I was at work and a very obese woman came in to get a pedicure. When she took her shoes off I noticed an odd black substance on her feet. I started scrubbing it off and wondered out loud, "What IS this stuff??" As a chunk of it fell onto my lip, she replied, "Girl, that's just the fungus." FML
Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Top comments
Badshah29 6
canibalism
jutyjaty 9
dude. new girl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (690)
fudgesicle 6
sucks.... literally!
AZUMIKKEL 3
Way to get the 1st comment with something that makes no sense. Well done.
Monikabug 9
... uh, how does that /literally/ suck?
fudgesicle 6
hey, thanx. at least I wasn't like "delicious!" or something...
fudgesicle 6
:) remember to laugh. people are so tense nowadays... especially Christians...
eminemchick 19
yeah i honestly dont see how eating dead skin literally sucks..
AnagenisisZagus 13
Every of your three comments were incredibly stupid. Shhhhhh. Shhhhhh. You are disturbing the peace of vulgarity.
alexibabyxoxo 0
actually.. it doesn't suck it swallows.
fudgesicle 6
tsk tsk! naughty naughty!
Trupe 3
I thought this said from his feet :/ but it's still pretty gross.
fudgesicle 6
why is everyone on this site so prissy?
dreamering 16
62, do you understand what are you writing here?
Monikabug 9
62; No one is being prissy. People laugh at things that are FUNNY. When you spout some nonsensical garbage that doesn't make sense, people don't find it funny, so they don't laugh and then call you out on it. You shouldn't be so sensitive nor defensive about it. Bow out like a mature person and stop feeling the need to tell people they are tense because you assume that they probably have religious values - referring now to the comment that was moderated for it's hateful nature - and that they should "smile more". If you can't handle someone's opinion versus your own, GET OFF OF THE INTERNET and crawl back into your hole.
fudgesicle 6
sorry Hun, I don't live in a hole. It's a cave for your information. and my cave has amazing wifi connection.
AnagenisisZagus 13
Shut the fudge up, man.
brandddi69 0
ugh I shouldn't read fml's while eating
shali14 0
86- Get a life. -.-
iSurf_fml 8
Fudgesicle- People on Fml are extremely critical, as this is the only place we won't get called out on it. I, have made some incredibly stupid comments that have been thumbed down immensely, and retorted to in brutally honest ways. It's best just not to respond with idiotic remarks, and act like nothing happened, or everyone will hate you.
KingDingALing 9
Wow, Fudge, you sure know how to make yourself look like an idiot. I wouldn't expect that much from someone who lives in a cave. I personally believe that your attempt at trying to save yourself was the worst attempt ever. I want to lock you in your goddamn cave so that you can slowly die.
EmoLover681 0
83 made my day
MrSassypants 33
91 don't worry I got this. 86 shut the FUDGESICLE up!
Monikabug 9
Don't do it @122, ********** is severely frowned upon in modern society. Even if the dog wears pants.
MrSassypants 33
145 other FML if you didn't notice. Also like a lot of trolls on the Internet would put it "*********** FTW!"
heyy17 10
um... your stupid... that wasn't even a pun?
sabrinahusic 0
fudgsicle its okay, most people on here are fake and use pics they find on the Internet :D
MrSassypants 33
155 threesome? :( what about me? ********** foursome FTW! I usually hate thresome jokes but since it involves **********... it's all good.
iSurf_fml 8
162- I found my pic on the Internet.. I'm pretty sure most of us did, but were all real people if that's what you mean.
rararauhuh 5
I think what #1 should have said was: that bites, almost literarily.
ohmywows 0
162 only said that so people would look at her picture since she thinks she's hot..
sabrinahusic 0
With fake personalities. Being a douche just because everyone else is doing it. Yeah, you're so cool let me tell you. And the thumbs up wooohoo way to go! You want a gold star?
MrSassypants 33
162 I'm not fake. I use a picture from the Internet because I'm a famous celebrity from the planet Neptune. Kinda proved your point but I didn't because I was joking. Also I act the same way in real life. I just don't put my picture because things may happen (Witness protection program, become famous, etc.) even though it's a little chance I don't do it.
sabrinahusic 0
185 you're stupid. I never said that or implied it. Idiot. I just hate people...mostly. A lot of you guys pose as being good and caring people but then turn around and bash on kids. Don't believe? Look at other FMLs.
sabrinahusic 0
187 you're actually one of the people I like and find to be funny.
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
51 has a chode.
MrSassypants 33
191 no your stupid! I never ever in my entie life acted caring. Bet you thought I was gonna say bash on kids. Anyways I only bash on people who are stupid and annoying. I am a friendly person but not annoying people and jerks.
michiganfan53 0
wow...and he's the defensive one?
caseytheninja 6
139 xD nice dog btw
sabrinahusic 0
OK yeah lol I'm stupid haha and you can tell this from a comment? I withdraw my comment about you being one of my favorites on here. And I said MOST not all.
MrSassypants 33
I was being sarcastic but your kind of hypercritical if you said I can't call you stupid from a comment when you did the same thing.
fudgesicle 6
guys... I was trolling. if all you can do is say "shut the fudge up" then that's sad. get a life losers
MrSassypants 33
212 well I said "shut the FUDGESICLE up!" but I kinda figure you were trolling. Your comments were to stupid to be serious. I'm not using that as an insult though.
sabrinahusic 0
Hmm yeah, you kinda got me there. FML
fudgesicle 6
yea. I'm not usually this annoying. I'm just pissed at my ex bff and needed to let off steam.
DerrickRoseFan 0
191-most people hate you back including me you're a douchebag!
sabrinahusic 0
LOL a 13 year old girl hates me. Yeah, I could care less. Go hit puberty and then talk to me :D
sabrinahusic 0
iiCaptain and despite of your smart comments MrSassypants are my favorites. They're actually funny.
glenzhao2 16
iiCaptain is just so cool, completely ignoring the big fight and rallying everyone to come together in harmony for an orgy. I admire you iiCaptain. I really do.
sourgirl101 28
Do you want to include the OP in this orgy, ii? I heard you like people that put nasty things in their mouths. (: *I also think it's funny to see people bitch about this site and yet stay on it. It doesn't make sense. Move along....
glenzhao2 16
229, you're no one to talk; you're making a duck face in your picture.
iSurf_fml 8
186- Ya I want about six ******* gold stars.
nooriginalnames 0
226 my picture isn't fake I am actually a cat
Petunia888 13
I agree with 222.
DerrickRoseFan 0
226-what the hell stop bashing people.I understand why people hate you and I have friends you don't change your attitude,look and maybe you will find friends.MAYBE.that really hurt what you said and btw I thought you said you hated Mrsassypants and now all of the sudden you like him?!? are you bi polar?
KingDingALing 9
How about you both stop arguing over something so pointless. You're only proving how stupid both of you are. No one wants to listen to your retarded argument. It's annoying as hell, but you two are obviously too stupid to realize that. Go die. Immediately.
MrSassypants 33
222 ha I loved how you said "make love" and talked about an orgy. Love making while having orgy sex with a stranger and a dog is awesome! Here I come I am cinnaMON!
sabrinahusic 0
237- WTF are you supposed to be? I can't tell if you have down syndrome or just look like it. good luck getting laid in high school.
DerrickRoseFan 0
222-I'm sorry I started arguing with her again she really mad me mad and offendeded me. I will try to stop this is a place to laugh at peoples mistakes not something to argue over.I may be 13 but I have feelings
DerrickRoseFan 0
249-like you ever did
nerdchic 5
wow Sabrina - go get laid or something.. smoke a blunt.. you need it. it's fml not "let's nag bc I'm on rag" get off here and go nag on your Facebook or something DA
sabrinahusic 0
LOL I'm bored and it's funny. And sports chick/girl if you didn't want to be offended then don't disrespect someone first. Calling me a douchebag and saying you hate me won't get you a nice response. Anyway, you're my sisters age and I'm sorry for offending you.
Monikabug 9
Holy threadjackery! Stop the madness! Lets set everything straight: Fudgesicle isn't funny, Sabrina is judgmental, iiCaptain is just here for the lulz, KingDingaLing has common sense, and we all care too much about senseless drivel. Everyone good now?
iSurf_fml 8
239- You're not much of a looker yourself either.....
sourgirl101 28
Every night? I had no clue. Feel free to keep the tea set you borrowed from me!
MrSassypants 33
267 no iiCaptain wants an orgy but I don't see one going on... oh wait... did you guys start without me?!! 8(
sabrinahusic 0
264- who the **** asked you to chime in? I don't do drugs you hillbilly nerd ****. And for your information I probably get laid more than you considering I live with my bf. NOW...lay off and if you guys want this to stop then stop talking to me or about me. It's simple people.
sicwitit 0
now he tries to defend himself. oh god this is too funny
CompettiveCheer 0
249, You should get over yourself. Go die.
hahafylop 4
249- He might not get laid in HS, but you never will. ii won't even let you in on the site-wide orgy. @mrsassypants- you have now full clarified your gender with the moustache. Though I do know girls with facial hair.... Hmm...
sabrinahusic 0
LOL oh lord. I won't say much to that carrot top. Jesus.
MrSassypants 33
283 you know what? Your not invited to the orgy that... I'm... not invited too.
sabrinahusic 0
280- you'll probably die before me judging from that huge gut. Maybe you should lay off the fast food and chips :D just looking out for you girl.
docscientist 9
The orgy is a trap. iicaptain really just wants to spread his herpes.
hahafylop 4
WE CAN HAVE OUR OWN ORGY! ii, I could hold the blankie! I'll be right over. Sabrina, just leave. And, to prove your point, most people do take their photos from the internet, that's not me.
KingDingALing 9
JESUS CHRIST, DO NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND? STOP THREADJACKING! It's as simple as that. This isn't a place to talk about random shit. You make me want to shoot my goddamn brain out. You're all filling this comment section up with spam and it's preventing everyone from reading the REAL comments that are actually RELATED to the FML!
MrSassypants 33
Actually if you dont reply to one of the comments and instead 'reply' to it as putting a reply and talking about the FML it's threadjacking. Or threadjacking might be just loading the replies with random stuff. If it is then I was misinformed.
obamanation85 1
first
travinator41 2
you are 3rd idiot
Badshah29 6
canibalism
tsim_fml 0
not if shes eating herself...
skaterblue12 0
you're abs seem uneven
dvdp112 0
self anthropophagy.. no... go ahead... i'll give you time... look it up.. oh also you can cannibalize yourself.. and continue
zozohearts 0
My grandmother does it too. : such an agonizingly painful memory.
DerrickRoseFan 0
I think 56 wants to bake cookies on your abs!
OceanBreathesSal 5
170- wrong comment dude.
pardonski 0
put a shirt on bro. this isn't a dating site
DerrickRoseFan 0
189-I'm sorry I'm new at this I just joined and that was on snl
kittykat1497 7
**auto-cannibalism ^_^
llCHR15ll 0
I don't see the problem here? she sucks your **** doesn't she? what could be worse than sucking a guys ****?
blacksswan 10
56 wishes he had those abs instead of his beer belly.
FunnyGuy5051 7
56 it's called photoshop
Failed_Again 0
Lol I love #35 said canibalism and got thumbs down and the guy with the muscles says it ad gets thumbs up. People these days...
ChickenInMyKitch 4
^thats cause #35 spelled it wrong whereas muscle guy was just missing one letter. and #189 is your name a reference to Modest Mouse? If so,props! :D
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Who you trying to impress muscle man? I mean of you wanna pick up a girl so badly, I recommend checking out eharmony.
lmfaoooooooooo 4
408**
isac1234 0
He Looks Concieted ! Lmao his about me says " message me you know you want to" man hoe.
0430chloe 0
you're hot baha want ta txt? :p
Badshah29 6
lol thought this was abt the fml, not my abs. if i like to post my shirtless pics online, i'd post hundreds of them. if any1 has a problem with that, they shud pick up there ass and go to the gym, cuz the only reason u'd be commenting negitively about sm1's quality is cuz ur jealous of it.
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
way to get them to shutup lol
1215116a 14
515, not everyone is freaking jealous, and also not everyone with abs has the need to show them off.
alyshaketchup 0
haha message me.
brunettebaby98 0
damn! nice ABS!!!!!!!
bonnie_vb8 5
You should message me haha I wanna talk about your sexyness.
droxd923 0
nice **** :)
AnonymousL0L 0
Yea come on dude put a shirt on. ;P Lol so many haters. xD
rebeldevil 4
that tends to happen with photoshop.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
515 I am a girl, so I presume yo think I'm jeal of you muscles though?
the_hero_of_time 0
the arm he is flexing is also longer and unpoportional (idfk how to spell it)
Zeek63 0
om nom nom nom nom
haleyelizabethd 0
totally agree :)
foreveraloneXC 10
515, I'm a girl, and I sure as hell don't find that attractive nor do I want to message you because "I want you". Kindly go put on a shirt
jutyjaty 9
dude. new girl
knights95 9
Dead skin tastes good, especially if you put some BBQ sauce on it
MissBunnyWillEat 11
Nah, honey mustard is the way to go.
docscientist 9
Honey peach BBQ is tops.
EatnBeef 7
footfood haha
SydneyG 0
That's gross bro.. legit lmao
isac1234 0
You look like a milf ^_^
Poopolicious 5
why? it's delicious and nutricious 8D -sarcasm-
aromero95 3
hahaha
almighty_zer 5
I guess anything tastes good w BBQ sauce on it
wwattdidyousay 0
nahh it's just naturally that yummy.. -sarcasm-
katieklein 0
thats sick.
mccaincracker 6
Thats attractive /sarcasm
cupcakeslayer 0
it's not sick. it's a warped way to get out of giving head.
kingnate16 0
it's a delicacy in Slovenia
asdaasdaasda 1
she's a keeper :)
anakaren_831 1
I just literally threw up on my mouth.
shrinkydinks 0
on your mouth? lol
dvdp112 0
literally!
Lil_Red777 21
um don't you mean in your mouth?
dvdp112 0
literally!.... if you swallowed it then you and this girl with her foot in her mouth could be besties
Guy_Smily 0
i did the same, in AND on...
eckksDeeitsTravi 0
mmm.. vomit.
PageantGirlXOXO 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I THINK IT'S CUTE!!
A7X_LoVeee 10
I came pretty close. That's disgusting and just not normal.
mendes1987 0
haha what? why?!
MellisaTatum 6
Dude, I love your picture. It made my day.(:
slynoble32 11
lmfao u mean it it right??
gretchAsketch 0
in**
EnterChoose 1
I love how her first comment has 34 thumbs up and this one has 46 thumbs down.
wwattdidyousay 0
195- what's cute about it the fact tht his gf is chowing down on her foot and he has probably kiss that mouth!?! blah
anakaren_831 1
I just literally threw up on my mouth.
HannahForbesxo 13
That is vile, you should really ask her not to.
TroyDropShotz 0
ewww ik some1 tht eats their scabs from their head
unluckiestperson_fml 14
That's just lovely, 163. Hahaha some people have some strange habits xD
laurengraay 2
163- why would they even have scabs on their head?!
Zambaku 9
something tells me you took that from an fml
gforbes 0
hey
chili10 18
163, that's pretty specific.... what's wrong with elbow scab? or knee?
Soukey 0
That's disgusting
NomOnShroomz 14
Cannibalism is sexy.
Soukey 0
Okay?
gaganinia 14
yum yum yum :)
oneillrox1 0
Ur disgusting u ugly ass bitch!
oneillrox1 0
Ur disgusting
airborn54 0
that's hot....jk dump her ass now!
Cryingraven 1
he probably made out with her a couple of times too {@_} *Gag*