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The all-time greatest FMLs

What a trip

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 20:00 - Canada - Sudbury

Today, I was in gym class with my crush. We were running around until she tripped over me. Now, she hates me, and says that I tripped her when everyone saw that she tripped over me, and she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 201

Scammed

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 91

I likes what I likes

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 09:00 - United States - La Crosse

Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that the reason why he tickles me all the time is because tickling really turns him on, and my ticklishness is "so fucking sexy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 354

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

By GeeHee - 30/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was in a work Zoom meeting that was supposed to end at 5 pm, which is my shift end time. It dragged after 5 pm so I decided to disconnect and leave to go home, since I don’t get paid overtime. My manager called demanding to know why I left early, said I was unprofessional, and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 370

Too much YouTube true crime on the brain

By Anonymous - 27/08/2022 18:00

Today, and like every other day this year, my wife’s best friend thinks it’s funny to make comments that she thinks I’ll murder my wife, and that she should leave me ASAP. The best friend is in her 30s and has never had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 106

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 157

Didn't see ya there

By AylaMarie92 - 09/11/2021 13:59

Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 347

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 21/12/2021 05:01

Today, as a 6 ft 8 woman, I never get much attention from men, until today when a guy who was 7 ft 1 approached me at the bar with the chat up line, "Hey little lady, you look about my size, can I buy you a drink?" It worked. I'm such a stereotype, we’re going on a date tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 540

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 05:01

Today, I had to have the awkward conversation with my wife of 20-plus years that the reason I’ve lost interest in sex is because our sex life has been mind numbingly boring for at least 15 of those years, always the same positions, never wanting to try anything new, just so boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 481

Is that a pass then?

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 11:01 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I had a piano exam, for which I'd worked hard. I went in, and the examiner asked me to play some scales. I was so nervous, I played 3 octaves and then realised I'd ran out of space. I might have then said, "FUCK!" really loudly… and she heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 402

The sweet smell of success

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 11:02

Today, my dad decided to make home-made popcorn. He accidentally used old fish oil instead of mazola oil. Now the house reeks of fish and we can't even throw the popcorn out for fear of attracting wild animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 121

Helpless

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 21:30

Today, I have to cook for her if I don’t want her to live on sweets, remind her to actually eat her food before it goes bad, then clean and put away her dishes. When I ask her to help, she complains that she "can never do it right anyway." My teenage daughter? No, my mom, age 62. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 12/07/2019 02:00

Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 1 929

How cruel can one get?

By Anonymous - 29/08/2023 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, out of spite, my ex bought our autistic son a puppy. He's always wanted a dog and I can’t imagine how violent he will get if I tell him we can’t keep it. Since the divorce, I can barely feed us, so a dog is an expensive luxury we simply can’t afford, and my ex knows that. Pure spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 162

TMI

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 21:59 - United States - Crystal City

Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 117

Doggy dog world

By limey6g - 22/10/2021 17:00

Today, I work at a doggy day care. Employees are not allowed to leave the dogs unsupervised for any reason. So while I was alone in a yard, my stomach decided that it would be the perfect time to empty itself. Because I didn’t want to lose my job, I puked in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 112

Is this a recurring thing?

By Wayne and Friends - 23/03/2022 16:00

Today, we had to sit our friend down and explain that President Zelensky is not a Mossad agent/US puppet who forced Putin to invade Ukraine. He responded by talking about Hunter Biden for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 269

Waning

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 08:00 - Australia - Newham

Today, I love my partner but also have negative thoughts as well. She stopped being interested in me about 6 months into our relationship. We have been together for 12 years. We have made love on 3 different occasions in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 464

You're just saying that…

By Akwa - 18/11/2020 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and I got complimented on how we look alike. She's a German blonde and I was adopted from Vietnam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 125

Privacy

By silver bear - 15/05/2021 17:00

Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 131

The joys of mp3

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 14:00

Today, I opened my music app like always. All my tracks' titles had been reset. Now they’re called either (lyrics) or ‘’ ? () [] - symbols. I have nearly 2000 tracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 123

There goes the neighborhood

By Anonymous - 28/08/2021 22:00

Today, our neighbors have the most beautiful garden, with hundreds of crocuses in spring. Actually, that was our former neighbors. The new owners have since dug up all the flower bulbs, thrown them out, and replaced them with some lovely decorations made of old car tires. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 137

Bruxism

By tiptoppc - 04/11/2022 00:00

Today, after waking up from a bad migraine which caused my teeth to clench, I found out that I broke a molar. A dentist told me it split down to the bone, so I need root canal and an extended crown. Then they told me the tooth below had also broke and has to be pulled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 86

Manic Pixie Dream Girl

By Misha - 05/06/2022 06:00

Today, I was flirting with this really attractive guy on a dating website until he became convinced I wasn't real by my pictures and bio, and stopped messaging me and reported me for spam. He was really, really cute and funny, and seemed like a great guy until then. Guess I'm too vanilla. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 174

Forever alone

By Anonymous - 18/08/2020 08:08

Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 2 403

Plumbed out

By MariosNightmare - 18/12/2020 07:57 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, what should've been a five-minute job replacing a drain turned into a 2 hour ordeal just to remove the old one. The original part was put in incorrectly, so whoever did it used a full tube of silicone to make it watertight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 72

No stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 11:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 232

Both ends

By not having fun - 03/05/2022 18:00

Today, I have bronchitis. A few days ago, my doc prescribed antibiotics, which are helping, but also cause a really nasty upset stomach. I tell ya, violent coughing fits and severe diarrhea do NOT go well together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 89

Wizard skills

By Patrick - 04/09/2022 04:30

Today, I was looking after my 9 year-old nephew when I let him play some web games on my MacBook. A few hours later, I found out I'd underestimated his tech skills, as he'd changed all my contacts to "Mr. Spongebob Squarepants." Thanks to iCloud, all contacts on all my devices were changed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 550

Close, but no cigar

By Anonymous - 08/12/2022 10:00

Today, after months of tests, I was the only candidate left for my dream job. Then, only a few days before the last meeting before signing the contract, I get a call from HR informing me their co-worker unexpectedly came back from unpaid leave and that they are obliged to give him the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 85

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The Top

Today, I'm anxious traveler who's flying by myself. My first flight got delayed due to one issue after another. This caused me to miss my connection. There are no more flights today so I'm having to stay overnight which, by the way, the airline won't pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 69

Today, my brother is about to move to a new house, all because last week I played a prank on him. I made him believe that I crashed my car and had to sell his things to pay for the damage. He's no longer talking to me, or acknowledging me as a sibling anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 2 138

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 197

You deserved it 37 293

Today, the rain was pouring really hard outside. I found this out when it started raining on me at 4 am inside my dorm room. Thanks college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 370

You deserved it 2 519

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend already married, but she and her husband were planning some wacky scheme to steal all of my money, and run away to strike again in a new location, with new names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 98

Today, my husband and son haven’t spoken to each other in over a year. I’ve tried everything from bargaining, crying, and even screaming at them both, but they seem determined to hate each other. At this rate, our son will move out and we’ll never see him or our future grand babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 377