Today, being a lonely exchange student, I slept with a guy from my dorm who I don’t genuinely like, just to show myself a good time. His equipment, fully deployed, was not even the size of my thumb and the entire business lasted less than 20 seconds. I was lonely enough to let him back in again. Twice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that the guy I lost my virginity to only slept with me for a bet. He confessed and apologized. He truly looked like he regretted it, so I forgave him and we hooked up again. Turns out this was a bet too. The worst part? I would do it again, because I'm really that lonely. FML
Today, I drove over 3 hours to hook up with a guy I've been talking to for a couple of months. When we start having sex, he lasted less than a minute, and then couldn't get it up again afterwards. I slept uncomfortably the entire night on his twin bed while he snored. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I was having some fun with a guy, but I had to fake orgasm twice just so he would get out of me it was that shit. Third guy in a row. FML
Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after, he gave me the "let's just be friends" speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex-girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML
Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I was sexiled so that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
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Top comments
motoikkyu 13
Sorry for your loneliness. You understand that underendowed men didn't choose to be that way, right? We have no control over our tiny size. However, small men are sometimes very grateful for the attention you have given AND as a result, are trainable. If you're going to make regular use of this somewhat inadequate sex-toy, try training him to give you pleasure in many ways. It's a win-win, you get better attention, he learns valuable life-skills to make up for what nature didn't give him. Just a suggestion, the reality is to encourage you to build good friendships rather than jumping right to empty and meaningless intimacy that doesn't satisfy in physical or psychological ways.
DirtySalamander 9
OP didnt mention any names. So, no op didnt put anyone out there.
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Comments (10)
motoikkyu 13
Sorry for your loneliness. You understand that underendowed men didn't choose to be that way, right? We have no control over our tiny size. However, small men are sometimes very grateful for the attention you have given AND as a result, are trainable. If you're going to make regular use of this somewhat inadequate sex-toy, try training him to give you pleasure in many ways. It's a win-win, you get better attention, he learns valuable life-skills to make up for what nature didn't give him. Just a suggestion, the reality is to encourage you to build good friendships rather than jumping right to empty and meaningless intimacy that doesn't satisfy in physical or psychological ways.
RichardPencil 32
Thumb-thing's wrong here -- I just can't put my finger on it. Was he also 20 seconds the second and third times, too?
Boyufd 25
why you putting him out there like that? you deserve to be lonely
DirtySalamander 9
OP didnt mention any names. So, no op didnt put anyone out there.
Mathalamus 25
I don’t see the issue with that....
TCRII 30
Hopefully you have abnormally large thumbs...
RichardPencil 32
And if her thumbs aren't long, we can hope for her sake that they're "girthy."
tounces7 28
Not gonna lie, part of me wonders what country you're an exchange student in.
icalledhisname 12
Small is better than too large, my friend. I’m sorry your experiences weren’t what you wanted, though
Brightside86 31
Maybe have him wear a condom and a **** ring. Should do wonders for endurance.
dennis2345 7
Welcome to Korea