The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Wedding from Wish

By not that cheap - 15/05/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 241

Management 101

By Anonymous - 22/07/2021 04:01 - South Africa

Today, I got a call from the bank, telling me my mom's company is going broke. She's been on holiday for a month, and I had been appointed to manage it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 205

Rabbit hole

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 17:00 - United States - Big Lake

Today, after falling down an incredibly expansive DNA test rabbit hole, I found out that my first girlfriend was actually related to me. I can’t believe I’ve lived what I always thought was a disgusting and unrealistic porn trope: teen lesbian incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 295

Slippery season

By Anonymous - 08/01/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally slipped on a wet floor at my local mall after copious amounts of snow. There was no sign. I accidentally hit a lady trying to help me when falling backwards and gave her a bloody nose. I am now banned from the mall for two weeks and told I was lucky she didn’t press charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 901

Live dumping

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 02:00

Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 2 145

Winter coat

By Jules - 31/10/2021 05:00 - Germany

Today, I learned that if I order fuel oil for my house’s central heating right now, it won't be delivered before January. Yes, that’s in three months. No, I don't live in one of those countries where it’s still warm in October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 240

Alexa, play "Jobseeker" by Sleaford Mods

By Anonymous - 22/09/2021 15:59 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had a mandatory online meeting with a special work program early in the morning. Despite having insomnia for the past three weeks, I got up on time. No one has emailed me a meeting link, and no replies either. Now, I'm afraid I will lose what little "benefit" the government throws my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 101

Long time coming

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 13:00

Today, it's been 14 years since at our wedding my now-husband lost the wedding ring, and we had to rush to buy another, which delayed the wedding and cost us our honeymoon flight and thousands of extra pounds. I just got his old suit out to dry clean. The missing ring was in its box, in his jacket. I'm going to kill him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 267

Pencils down

By Idiot - 16/12/2020 19:58

Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 346

Scammed

By Beuhilda - 19/05/2021 20:01

Today, I sold a dresser on OfferUp. When I arrive at the customer’s house to deliver it and discussed the payment, she got upset and called me a selfish, greedy bitch because she’s a "single mom on food stamps." She berated me to the point of tears. I left without getting my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 678

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 24/09/2021 11:00

Today, I'm in hell. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, but if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get crippling migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 104

Sociopath time

By i…… - 14/04/2022 14:00

Today, my son’s mother is dying. He told me he feels “nothing at all” because of it. The reason? “Sometimes she punished me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 207

Economy 101

By cheap bastard! - 13/02/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, instead of thinking he should try to get a higher-paying job (like I did) my husband decided to come up with some money saving ideas. Almost all of them include being unhygienic, such as weekly showers, wiping dishes, and only washing clothes after 5 or more wears. I want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 169

Dogs > Landlords

By Anonymous - 25/11/2021 13:58

Today, our landlord has begun eviction proceedings because he’s received over 100 complaints about our dog, who barks constantly, and who my wife has stubbornly refused to get rid of. My wife has basically forced us to choose between that fucking mutt and being homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 675

The Based Family

By Amaaaaaaaaaanda - 17/02/2021 00:30

Today, my temporarily unemployed husband had a brain wave. I'm five months pregnant and we have a 4-year-old. He thinks we should start a family vlog on YouTube, so we can get rich. I hate those awful family vlogs with a passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 146

Best Baby Names of 2021

By Anonymous - 28/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boyfriend has had name ideas for his future son and daughter even before I met him, but so have I. He disregards my ideas and suggestions, and is hell bent on giving our kids names because he likes "the way they sound." 'Hippopotamus' sounds good, but who’d name their kids that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 205

Bunch of NPCs

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 16:00

Today, my manager sat me down and insinuated that it's my fault that our new hires are useless. Not one person ever told me that I was responsible for training them. I'm not in charge, and they've been here for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 84

Scapegoat

By anondad - 22/07/2022 12:00 - Philippines - Talisay

Today, I thought I'd start my day bright and positive but then people around me started blaming me for almost anything that's not going well for them, like missing pictures, dirty house, and even stains in the kitchen but I don't have anything to do with any of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 173

For no one

By NotEvenInTheRunning - 24/03/2023 01:00 - Ireland

Today, in front of all my family, my grandmother said it was so funny how my brother was my mother’s favorite, while my sister was my father’s favorite. When I asked whose favorite I was, there was silence. From everyone. Including my parents. Guess I know where I’m not wanted now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 135

Tight git

By Anonymous - 11/05/2023 12:00

Today, my kid's dad grumbled and complained about having to help me out buying clothes for him, because he was sure he just gave me money for clothes last year. I thought it would be fairly obvious that a 4 year-old would eventually need bigger clothes to accommodate the fact they are still growing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 162

Well worth the money

By Anonymous - 05/10/2022 21:30 - Australia

Today, I'm on a certain diet. I had to have a green protein banana smoothie for breakfast. I shook it up, took a mouthful, and immediately started gagging. Apparently, the seal for the bottle had fallen in, and it got stuck in my throat. Luckily it was slimy and came out relatively easily. I paid $12 for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 264

I'm in this FML and I don't like it

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 06:00

Today, my son has decided he doesn’t want children, or pets, or friends, or a girlfriend, or to visit his living relatives, except for me. I’m scared that once I’m dead he’ll disappear into his house and never come out until the neighbours notice the smell after he’s dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 443

Wake up bark

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 74

Weird assumption

By Umm... OK? - 16/10/2023 18:00

Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 129

The effects of homeschooling

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 166

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 112

Consequences

By you’re one to talk! - 26/06/2022 17:00 - United States

Today, I reluctantly went to a family get together. My nosy aunt decided to try to lecture me on why I should spank my kids. That’s great coming from a woman who was a teen mom, had kids with 3 different guys, and now has grown kids that hate her guts. Yeah I truly need lessons on how to be a mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 114

Scammed

By Anonymous - 08/03/2023 05:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I noticed my credit score increased by 30 points. Not understanding why, I checked credit karma and found out someone opened several credit cards in my name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 90

Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains!

By GeeHee - 30/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was in a work Zoom meeting that was supposed to end at 5 pm, which is my shift end time. It dragged after 5 pm so I decided to disconnect and leave to go home, since I don’t get paid overtime. My manager called demanding to know why I left early, said I was unprofessional, and fired me on the spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 1 365

Dirty room

By love you too honey boo - 13/01/2020 05:00

Today, I sent a scantily clad pic to my boyfriend, to which he responded "Nice, but please clean your room". FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 2 333

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The Top

Today, I found an odd notebook in my wife's desk and opened it. I learned why our sex life has gotten so boring: every time I upset her, she secretly bans something sexual. For instance: "June 16th - dented car - no more lingerie" or "August 9th - forgot wallet on date night - no more rope play." FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 133

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to meet his parents. Right when I arrived, his little sister said, "She's a lot fatter than you said!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 225

You deserved it 4 990

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 043

You deserved it 9 481

Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 934

You deserved it 73 828

Today, I was recording a video for my online class. I say I tried, because my very chatty Siamese cat was yowling in the next room, then came in, leapt onto my desk, knocking over my mug onto my laptop. The recording caught me screaming and falling off my chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 84

Today, on a train, a little boy and girl come up to me and ask how babies are made. Already pretty uncomfortable with their question, their mother suddenly appears and says, "Go on, tell them!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 043

You deserved it 107