Health, Fitbit and Ironic: Workout - FML

Workout

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, my fitness tracker congratulated me on reaching 10,000 steps. Feeling slightly proud of myself for sticking to my health goals, I went to bed early, only to find out it was counting the steps I took pacing around, trying to find my lost keys for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 287

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Same thing different taste

Overzealous Fitbit

By Annoyed - 05/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I decided to try a new fitness tracker. After walking around all day, I looked at my app to check how many steps I’d taken, only to realize the tracker had counted every time I flailed my arms in frustration trying to figure out how to set it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 316

Work it

By Anonymous - 13/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was excited about my new fitness tracker that I decided to go for a run to test it out. Midway through, I looked down and realized I'd forgot to turn it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 442

Fake it til you make it

By Carl - 08/12/2020 12:02 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I was working from home alone while my wife was at her office. I decided that instead of having a healthy lunch at home, I would walk to the fast food place a block over. I didn't realise that my fitness tracker would automatically log this as "Exercise (walk)." My wife clicked "Like" underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 925

Fitness is overrated

By Frankie says relax - 10/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 701

Modern art

By Anonymous - 04/12/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 462

By TomorrowMaybe - 08/10/2016 16:29 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 781

You deserved it 8 270

By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 30 765

Health is overrated

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 195

By NYeeerrr - 09/06/2019 22:00

Today, after having my Apple Watch for a year, it asked me something it has never asked me before. As I began my hike around a lake, 10 minutes in, it asked if I was starting to workout. I hit yes, and it then congratulated me on my very first workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 742

By Ew - 26/05/2016 13:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I went for a three-mile run. I was really proud of myself until I woke up from my dream in my bed, surrounded by empty soda bottles and fast food bags. I haven't worked out in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 458

You deserved it 12 111

Next

Top comments

Hangryko 31

Friday 4 July 2025 22:04

Every step counts, that's still physical activity.

duchessdoughnut 2

Friday 4 July 2025 22:48

Steps is steps.

Comments

Hangryko 31

Friday 4 July 2025 22:04

Every step counts, that's still physical activity.

duchessdoughnut 2

Friday 4 July 2025 22:48

Steps is steps.

core01 30

Saturday 5 July 2025 5:23

A step is a step

JIMMY2CHAINZ_84 2

Saturday 5 July 2025 21:10

steps are steps. as long as you’re moving.

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Today, my normally very unadventurous girlfriend decided she wanted to have public sex. We were naked in the back of her car when she saw someone in the distance, had a panic attack, and started screaming uncontrollably. I got arrested because a cop heard the screams and thought I was attacking her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 166

Today, and after a lot of effort to reconnect with my family after a while of limited contact, I found out from the family group text that my mom, sister, and grandmother went on a vacation without me, and I didn’t even know about it until they posted some airport selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 298

The Top

Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 3 218

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 308

You deserved it 3 368

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 846

You deserved it 76 257

Today, I heard whimpering while I was in my bedroom. Thinking it was my parents doing something nasty, I let them do it and turned on my music. My parents came home from work and I realised they were never home. I went into the room and saw my dead dog laying on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 718

You deserved it 11 825

Today, I went to the doctor. They did a test and said they would email me the results. My girlfriend saw the email that said "The test was positive", and now she thinks I'm cheating on her with someone named Doctor Johnson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 390

You deserved it 1 109

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

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You deserved it 513