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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (36999)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

#19255892
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14756) - you deserved it (14658)

On 03/11/2012 at 5:15am - misc - by meganisabella - United States

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

#232055
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (47229)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by laywer_man (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to my good friend's girlfriend. She mentioned being afraid of losing her job. Because she was still a teenager, I jokingly said, "oh, like you're responsible for a whole family." She is. FML

#3633751
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14748) - you deserved it (47034)

On 07/10/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Mezzlegasm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was debating weed legalization in drug awareness. I was thoroughly unleashing arguments: how marijuana turns normal citizens into criminals, how the government spends billions to enforce drug laws, when I lost my train of thought. My teacher grinned saying, "My point exactly." FML

Today, I went to pay my vehicle registration in person to avoid paying the $10.00 online service fee. After a long wait, I came out to find a $15.00 parking ticket on my car. FML

#12754430
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14746) - you deserved it (20505)

On 08/26/2010 at 11:09am - money - by avalanche719 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my coworker sent an email to the whole company asking us to fill in a survey. I've been secretly seeing her for two months, so I responded with "sure thing baby, and by the way I ran out of condoms, can you bring more for tonight?" I accidentally hit reply all. FML

#1489394
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14743) - you deserved it (83449)

On 04/30/2009 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14743) - you deserved it (63082)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandparents visited. My grandpa kept getting off the couch and walking around to "stretch his legs." He kept kicking out my computer's network cable and messing up my game, smirking each time he did it. When I complained, my mom told me to shut up and show some respect. FML

#19267574
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14740) - you deserved it (25117)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I finally agreed to the threesome that my husband has been trying to persuade me to have. We arranged it with my hot best friend, thinking I would be more comfortable with her. I ended up lying naked beside them, watching them have fun. FML

#5163523
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14736) - you deserved it (35408)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:25am - intimacy - by wallflower (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was masturbating lying on the lower bed of my brother's and my bunk beds. I finished jacking off and tried to get up to clean myself I hit my head on metal panel of the upper bed and passed out. Later woke up in my bed... found out my parents came home and saw me passed out naked holding a porn mag. FML

#2357
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14730) - you deserved it (41780)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by killmyself - United States (California)

Today, my best friend resolved things with her boyfriend after he had admitted to cheating on her. I felt really guilty because I drunkenly hooked up with her boyfriend last month. She said, "I felt better when he told me that the girl was extremely ugly and bad in bed." FML

#252691
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14724) - you deserved it (102761)

On 03/09/2009 at 4:52pm - misc - by collegegirl90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (34266)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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