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Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML

#20076226
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19492) - you deserved it (2292)

On 09/17/2012 at 1:16pm - animals - by :,< - United States

Today, I realized that even though I've taken three years of Spanish, the only words and phrases I can remember are from Dora the Explorer. FML

#13818427
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19491) - you deserved it (11070)

On 11/12/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by rog3rli (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

#7918887
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19488) - you deserved it (8059)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (3630)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mother and I saw a stall selling colourful treats at the shopping centre. Some were placed on small dishes, so we thought we'd sample their goods. Turns out that the colourful goodies that we'd bit into were very creative pieces of soap. FML

#20615670
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (41936)

On 04/23/2013 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (3593)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from the hospital and drive them back home, after they were treated for eating large amounts of cheese that my dad claimed to have "aged" for several years. FML

#20116789
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (1406)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:36pm - health - by oppafucktardstyle (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19464) - you deserved it (1802)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

#9018628
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19462) - you deserved it (2047)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:10am - misc - by lance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my crazy mother-in-law threatened to camp out outside my house so she will "never get left out" of our lives, all because we called instead of sending a written invitation to my three-year-old's birthday party. I actually believe she's crazy enough to do it. FML

#20079097
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19460) - you deserved it (1577)

On 09/19/2012 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I attended a funeral. During the minute of silence, my phone went off. My ringtone is "It's good to be alive". FML

#15616538
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19458) - you deserved it (53513)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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