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Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML

#2406787
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (47582)

On 05/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by LALALALA (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23128) - you deserved it (32624)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

#19098122
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (2375)

On 02/17/2012 at 1:22am - work - by Christinemh329 - United States

Today, I found out I'm allergic to mosquito repellent. I fly out on a two month trip to India on Saturday. FML

#21477352
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/07/2015 at 10:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, with the most certainty and confidence that I have ever seen in her, my 16-year-old daughter told me an egg is a fruit because of its "hard shell and growing seed." FML

#21472478
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/25/2015 at 1:42am - kids - by Failed_Dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cop turned his lights and siren on to pull me over. I pulled into a parking lot and got a ticket. It wasn't until the cop pulled away that I realized that I'd pulled into, and interrupted, an on-going funeral visitation. FML

#19847830
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23125) - you deserved it (4939)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (8956)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23122) - you deserved it (2569)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML

#21471789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23120) - you deserved it (1567)

On 09/23/2015 at 9:24am - misc - by Colin Jr. (man) - United States

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

Today, my brother called me a clueless idiot after I told him that odometers measure distance traveled, not a person's body odor. FML

#21493984
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (1692)

On 11/18/2015 at 10:42am - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has been watching Supernatural and The X-Files so she'll fit in better at school. I'm not even angry that she's suddenly a brain-dead conformist, it's just that she now has nightmares all the time and insists on sleeping in my bed. She's a kicker. FML

#19479496
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (5566)

On 04/16/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by orangechicken (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (51162)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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