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The all-time greatest FMLs

Flooftastic

By Anonymous - 26/05/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 354

Oh, hai Mark!

By Jill - 22/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I ran into my ex at our local supermarket. Trying to be aloof, I waved casually, but I misjudged the distance and knocked over a display of canned beans. My ex just stood there, laughing, while I scrambled to rearrange up my mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 399

Awkward silence

By Fxchme - 22/01/2022 14:01

Today, I learned that you should never ask your 11 year-old daughter to read a text for you while you’re driving. She read a text from a girl I had a one-night stand with on New Year's Eve, demanding why I never called her again. Yes, my wife was also in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 5 664

I'll call you!

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my smartphone fell out of my cargo shorts pocket onto the floor of my friend's car. I didn't even notice until he drove me home, where I noticed that the pocket was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 149

Thanks colonialism

By Ouchmayne - 26/07/2022 14:01 - United States

Today, I met one of our donors at a company gala. One guy said he was from Trinidad. He had an accent, so I told him that his English sounded great for someone from a foreign country. He then told me that English is the official language in Trinidad. Don’t think we’re getting funds anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 468

SPEECH! SPEECH!

By Trevone87 - 26/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was asked to give a toast at my best friend’s wedding. I confidently walked up, tapped my glass, and began with, “Marriage is like...” Then I completely blanked, for about 10 seconds, but it felt like hours. I finished with, “...good luck!” and sat down to slow, confused golf claps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 311

A bit too many Fall vibes

By ppppp - 26/10/2023 20:00

Today, I eagerly jumped into a pile of leaves, only to discover via the stench that the neighborhood cats have obviously been using it as their makeshift litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 456

One for the British boomers

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 20:00

Today, it's been about three weeks since I had a very vivid sex dream about a tall man, but had no idea who it was. Then today my grandad was watching old comedies and there the guy was, Bernard Bresslaw from the Carry On movies. Why brain? Why now and why him? I’ve not watched those movies in decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 100

I'm too old for this shit

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I tried to do a TikTok dance and ended up knocking over a lamp and breaking it. It wasn't even my lamp. I now think I'm probably too old for current social media trendiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 1 061

This is the future Big Tech wants

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 22:00

Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 742

Check these out!

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 20:00 - Germany - Gelnhausen

Today, I wanted to show a photo of my cat to my colleague, but my phone fell out of my hand and scrolled to the next photo, a photo of me without a bra. Now he thinks that this is how I tried to let him know that I want a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 471

Oh Bondage! Up Yours!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 06:00 - France - St-Malo

Today, and ever since I've known her, my girlfriend easily falls asleep if she lies down. We decided to try bondage on our bed, but once laying down she fell asleep. I was the one tied up to the bed frame. When she woke up, I thought it would be funny to say I could stay two more hours like that. She took it seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 613

TMI

By Can you don't? - 16/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I had to listen to my mom and grandma talk about their bladder issues in very great detail, including how my grandma has to hold up her stomach to empty it entirely. They told me to leave if it was uncomfortable. Good idea, but why don't you just not talk about that around other people? FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 554

Hermit in training

By Anonymous - 27/06/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when I’m alone I suffer from crippling loneliness that makes me cry, yet when I have people around me or I try to go on dates, I hate it so, I make excuses to be alone again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 272

XXX rated

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I finally acted on a fantasy and did a bondage shoot video. The first comment on the clip was, "Hard watch. Fat as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 168

Wild child

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, my wife asked our 17 year-old son to clean his room. Following up, he lied to his mom and said it was clean. After rechecking his room, he began to throw things and I returned to find holes punched in the walls. I went and patched the holes, after which he immediately kicked more holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 461

Sherri Wanabee

By Jose - 08/07/2023 03:00

Today, my daughter and her best friend made an elaborate plan that she was kidnapped, causing me to cough up $7000 in ransom money, which I later found out was a hoax. All this because she’s still upset I left her terminally ill mother for my current girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 3 133

Power move

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I took my kids and left my wife because she's been drinking, which I absolutely forbid. Now she's going on social media saying I kidnapped them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 613

Bad employee

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 20:01

Today, I ran into my boss when I was at the beach. He told me he was sorry for my loss. I asked him, "What loss?" Then I remembered I’d lied about taking time off under the pretense of bereavement of my grandmother passing away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 2 845

Throwing it all away

By Anonymous - 21/02/2023 22:00

Today, I tried telling the girl I like how I feel about her. Little does she know I broke up a 6-year relationship for her. We're "just friends” she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 2 034

By Tourist - 26/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 179

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I was in a packed elevator when I heard a loud noise. I assumed someone had farted, so I tried to discreetly turn around and hold my breath. To my horror, the loud noise was actually the elevator malfunctioning and dropping a few floors. I made it even more awkward by holding my breath, and the guy next to me asked, “You good?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 315

Chain reaction

By Anonymous - 03/05/2023 06:00 - Australia

Today, I got drunk and spewed all over my lounge room floor. My dog ate it up, also got drunk, and also eventually spewed on the floor too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 1 172

Get lost

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 22:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I had to spend at least 30 minutes, at 3 in the morning, shooting BBs at a mateless whip-poor-will to scare it off so I could sleep. It was making noise in a tree right outside my window. I feel for you my dude, but you're doing the equivalent of drunk texting an ex and crying into your beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 410

By Anonymous - 14/09/2009 22:22 - United States

Today, during a major fight with my boyfriend, I threw a necklace he had given me out the window, thinking it was just a cheap trinket. He then told me, for the first time, that that necklace had belonged to his now deceased grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 734

One-wat street

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 00:00

Today, after my at-the-time partner got in a car wreck with minimal injuries, I drove two hours and got a week off classes to take care of them on hand and foot, they are currently my platonic roommate and I nearly broke my foot… and they keep acting annoyed when I ask for something because I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 280

Cringe factor 1000

By Busted - 05/03/2023 06:00

Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 5 094

Just my luck

By Nunya - 03/01/2025 15:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, after walking on the beach for an hour with a friend, I noticed I'd lost my car keys. Thirty minutes from my friend's house, three hours from mine. It was getting dark & the tide was rising. We retraced our steps with no luck; the keys could’ve been washed away. I'd also locked my keys in the car earlier this week an hour from home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 504

New man

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I arrived home, having just had my long hair cut and my beard shaved. My idiot daughter’s reaction when she saw me? “Who are you and how did you get in the house?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 648

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 29/01/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend beat me and my whole family at Scrabble using only rude words. Seriously, he got a double word on BUTTOCK, a triple letter on the X in SEX then finally got a double word and 50 points for using all his letters by turning the word IS into CLITORIS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 682

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The Top

Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 560

You deserved it 4 984

Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 606

You deserved it 12 871

Today, my best friend and I both applied for the same job. I was applying because my family is REALLY tight on cash, and I need the money. He applied because I told him about the job and we thought it would be fun working together. He was hired on the spot. I was denied the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 485

You deserved it 6 184

Today, I bought a mini tracking device to attach to my wallet to keep me from losing it. Unfortunately, before I could put batteries in the tracking device, I lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 914

You deserved it 9 381

Today, at work, I have discovered the wonderful feeling of having a paper cut, with metal, under your nail, on all your nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 005

You deserved it 375

Today, my team and I were given the options to travel together by company bus, or self-drive to a company outing. We all chose to self-drive. Our boss got extremely mad and said we had no team spirit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 206