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Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18684) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

#13606061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (6454)

On 10/26/2010 at 8:02pm - misc - by DriveMeNot (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18681) - you deserved it (4387)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18683) - you deserved it (3779)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18680) - you deserved it (20354)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18676) - you deserved it (4584)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18670) - you deserved it (6406)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18664) - you deserved it (29500)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

#21433513
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18666) - you deserved it (1211)

On 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by CaptainFluffyPaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (7221)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

#8606116
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18656) - you deserved it (2566)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:19am - work - by synn - Singapore

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

#19306262
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (2069)

On 03/19/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by PatientInWaiting (woman) - United States

Today, some kid decided to pee in the kids' play area at work. Because I was the shortest employee working at the time, I got to climb through the area to mop it up, while all the kids pointed and laughed at me. FML

#20089585
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18650) - you deserved it (1474)

On 09/26/2012 at 1:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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