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Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

by anon / 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

by Shenza / 06/17/2012 at 8:34am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I bailed my brother out of jail for violating a restraining order filed against him by his ex. I dropped him off at the place he told me he was staying at. Turned out it was his ex's house, and now he's in jail again. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 1:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

by Noname / 01/09/2009 at 12:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by scoobses / 10/01/2015 at 8:45pm / United States / Work

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2012 at 5:00am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

by Noname / 01/18/2009 at 5:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

by hannieannie / 02/09/2016 at 4:51pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had to give a speech but I wasn't prepared. I decided to give it anyway. While giving the speech, I got so nervous I passed out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/02/2010 at 9:45am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

by lefthandspanker / 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend to marry me, because it's a leap year. He is now avoiding me for fear that I was serious. FML

by CptZoe / 02/29/2012 at 1:10pm / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Love

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

by Danno / 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

by Nyquilwtf / 09/23/2012 at 1:03am / United States / Health