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Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

#12476862
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20670) - you deserved it (33926)

On 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML

#7325738
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20668) - you deserved it (2963)

On 01/13/2010 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by cantgetitupcantgetiton (woman) - United States

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (5269)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20661) - you deserved it (12133)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (4105)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (5183)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (38066)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, my girlfriend uninvited to me a party because she said her ex would be there, and since she hasn't told him about us, she didn't want him getting upset. FML

#21461601
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20653) - you deserved it (1957)

On 08/28/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (41011)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my psycho landlord threatened to take me to court if I don't pay my rent on time this month. I'd totally understand if he weren't my father-in-law, and if the reason I didn't pay on time before was because of hospital fees I'd incurred for an emergency appendectomy. FML

#21458301
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20650) - you deserved it (2113)

On 08/20/2015 at 12:16am - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML

#20144110
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20646) - you deserved it (2023)

On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)



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