Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17822) - you deserved it (59970)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17820) - you deserved it (45015)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (43308)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (57636)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (21654)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

#19591635
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1361)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

#8490990
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (3591)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (3305)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me if accents are hereditary. FML

#19675314
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (3616)

On 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

#19608555
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17799) - you deserved it (5348)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17795) - you deserved it (3408)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17797) - you deserved it (3884)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: