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Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24058) - you deserved it (60181)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

#17851509
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (3419)

On 09/27/2011 at 10:18pm - health - by MissPerspirent (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

#19874685
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (3060)

On 07/01/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by rinala -

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (1869)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML

#21243189
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (41486)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to try to convince my roommate that, yes, you do need to use dish soap when you hand wash dishes because of bacteria in old food. She still won't believe me, insisting that, "there's no such thing as bacteria in food". FML

#21482383
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (1503)

On 10/20/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by seriously_CAT -

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (2825)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

#21465068
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/06/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (2628)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, I went swimming. While I was walking along side of the pool, everyone was staring at me. I began to think that my diet was really working. It was only an hour later, in the changing rooms, that I noticed the string from my Tampax that was sticking out of my swimming costume. FML

#627
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (5583)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:24am - misc - by mimimi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (4934)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML

#19225170
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (1987)

On 03/06/2012 at 12:37am - work - by dragynfyre - United States (California)

Today at work, a woman decided to use the changing room as a public toilet, to wipe the urine with the clothes she tried on, then leave the mess along with her soiled underwear and a used maxi pad for me to clean up. FML

#21508922
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24053) - you deserved it (1178)

On 12/28/2015 at 11:59pm - work - by peachass - Australia (Victoria)



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