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    : 320



    Parenting is tough

    Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

    Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML
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    Winky

    XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX - 11/04/2025 21:00 - Romania

    Today, I was going to have sex with a girl, but when I got my dick out she said, "You got a nice winky." Who the fuck calls a dick a winky unless they're in kindergarten? Felt like I brought home a toddler. FML
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    Bad timing

    Trashed - 04/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I'm getting ready to move and so I woke up early to get a bunch of trash to put out. For months our pickup has been so late, it usually happens the next day. Today they came at 6:30 AM, while I was in the bathroom. Nothing was put out yet. FML
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    Motherly odor

    Anonymous - 07/11/2025 15:00

    Today, my daughter said, “Mommy, you’re my favorite person!” Then she added, “Because you smell like mac and cheese.” FML
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    What have you done now?

    Finn - 24/03/2022 03:00 - Canada - Fort Mcmurray

    Today, I ruined a 4-year long friendship over something stupid, and I'm now being ghosted. I tried to fix it several times, but she doesn't care anymore I don't think. Imagine being the antagonist in your own story. FML
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    Love in the time of Facebook

    StillAlone - 23/10/2022 06:00

    Today, I noticed my ex had unblocked me on Facebook. Since I still miss her and haven't been able to find love since our breakup, I sent her a friend request, thinking maybe she was leaving the door open for me, and we could reconcile. Apparently I was wrong because she promptly blocked me again. FML
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    Plans

    Anonymous - 20/03/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom

    Today, my wife asked me what I wanted to do this weekend. It’s been so long since she asked, I froze up, unable to think of anything I might enjoy doing that she wouldn’t immediately say no to. It ended up the same as every weekend; we now have plans to go shopping, then visit her mother. FML
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    Combo breaker

    Anonymous - 18/04/2024 19:00

    Today, in the middle of an argument, my husband picked me up and sat me on our breakfast bar. I’m terrified of heights so getting down took me over 5 minutes because of how bad I was shaking. He left to meet his friends, who “don’t start arguments just because they’re bored.” FML
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    Hair today, gone tomorrow

    JB. - 25/10/2025 12:00

    Today, I've come to the realization that the only people to call me handsome are women above the age of 55, gay men, or women trying to get money from me and failing. I don't even get a compliment on a haircut after not cutting it for a year. FML
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    Troubleshooting

    PC doctor - 01/04/2022 12:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

    Today, I restarted my PC a few times because of a little clicking noise coming from the direction of the tower. No, my hard drive wasn't doing a death rattle, it was music coming from ear buds lying beside said tower on the desk. FML
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    Gassy

    Anonymous - 14/01/2026 00:00

    Today, as I was walking out of my building that I have just moved into to walk my dog, a kind neighbour held the door open for us. Just as I walking walking though, I let out the loudest stinkiest fart in history (thanks fertility meds). I guess I’ll have too move out now… FML
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    Runaway Truck

    FML Videos - 30/11/2018 12:30 - United States - New York

    Excuse me, coming through!
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    Many such cases

    Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

    Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML
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    Confused

    Anonymous - 22/01/2021 14:31 - Australia - Adelaide

    Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking - ankle bracelet and all. Worst part? I really liked it. FML
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    What a ride

    Play It All Night Long by Warren Zevon - 18/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

    Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
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    Harness or buggy?

    Anonymous - 30/06/2022 02:00

    Today, I realized that I’m one of those freaks: I took my cat on a walk. FML
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    Hey you

    Anonymous - 10/09/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
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    The clichés are real

    Krish Kochar - 08/11/2022 10:00 - Canada

    Today, I've been living in Canada for past two years, and my friend from the States came to visit. He was talking about how Canadians are so polite, but I was in total denial, that he didn't know anything. While I was arguing with him, a guy in front of us walked into a pole, then apologized to it. FML
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    Never the twain

    Anonymous - 21/01/2026 12:00

    Today, I did a stupid thing and told my work crush that I liked her. Now, instead of living unnoticed by her, I have to live with the knowledge she doesn’t like me and only talks to me because I’m a coworker. As a bonus, she did say at least I’m not one of those quiet ones who give off SA vibes. FML
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    Everything must go

    Anonymous - 21/11/2025 15:00

    Today, I realized that I’m a loser. My coworkers have hit 9k and 16k in total sales, and I’ve never even come close to those numbers. I swear I work hard, but everything just sucks. I fucking hate my life. FML
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    - 01/05/2016 15:00 - France

    Today, even though I’m very careful, my modeling agency said that I’d put on weight. FML
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    What is he hiding?

    Wtf - 04/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
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    Probably not

    Anonymous - 27/06/2022 22:00

    Today, I realized that I divorced my husband of 36 years and took up with a new man, just be in exactly the same situation I was in before. Will I never learn? FML
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    Disillusioned

    Anonymous - 10/11/2022 04:00

    Today, it's six months until I graduate and I don't have a single skill that can get me placed in any company, but worst part is that I don't even want to work to acquire any skill. I'm fucking useless. FML
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    Let me in!

    Anonymous - 08/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I walked out of my apartment to take the trash out. The wind suddenly slammed the door shut behind me. The problem? I was only wearing boxers. My keys were inside, the trash bag ripped in my hands, and my neighbor’s dog barked at me like he had caught an intruder. FML
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    Too Tired To Function

    FML Videos - 09/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

    He doesn't like to move it move it.
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    Family outing

    Anonymous - 12/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Toledo

    Today, our daughter brought home a stray dog without permission. When my husband came home we took it to a shelter, who sent us to another shelter half an hour out of our way. Then their ADHD asses both wanted coffee at 6pm. By the time we got home, my dinner, and only my dinner, was ruined. FML
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    I know her so well

    Oh neighhh - 13/09/2025 20:00

    Today, I went all out for a date with the girl of my dreams. I planned a romantic horse ride along a ridge down to a scenic valley for a picnic at sunset. Turns out she’s absolutely terrified of horses, and heights make her queasy. We ended up at the only restaurant nearby, McDonald’s. FML
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    yvon la moto - 06/11/2015 10:26 - Spain - Madrid

    Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML
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    Kinda sus

    Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

    Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML
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    Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML
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    Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML
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    Today, as I was mowing my neighbor's lawn, I found the Playboy magazine he'd left in his yard. I found it with the mower. I spent the next hour picking up little shards of naked women for no extra pay. FML
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    Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML
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    Today, the guy who left me for another woman before Christmas, and who ghosted me after dating for a few months, starts working at the same place as I am next week. I've been working there for over a decade. FML
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