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Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

#19990926
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24076) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (47582)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I've been diagnosed with a severe lung infection. This causes me to viciously hack up a lung every two minutes or so. Not only can I barely breathe as it is, my job requires lots of running around, cleaning and interacting with customers. I have a five-hour shift tonight. FML

#19529513
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24071) - you deserved it (2317)

On 04/25/2012 at 9:27pm - health - by MissMae93 (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that my 76 year old great aunt likes to swim naked, even when I have friends over. FML

#20051798
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24069) - you deserved it (1898)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:30am - misc - by MsConfusedd - United States (New Jersey)

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24070) - you deserved it (9949)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling a little racy and decided to send my boyfriend some naked pictures of myself. He responded, "That's OK, but does your face have to be in them?" FML

#6415998
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (4726)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:07am - intimacy - by denise (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (70237)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of 2 years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I am cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

#6908981
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (4067)

On 12/23/2009 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by everybodysfool (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
149 comments

Today, I auditioned for a part in a play. I've been practicing for months, and was very excited. After I finished singing, the director whispered something to the other judges, and they all laughed. Hard. So much for the lead role. FML

#13881545
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (3277)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:31pm - misc - by embarrassed -

Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML

#12804085
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (6077)

On 08/29/2010 at 11:45am - animals - by unluckiestperson - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24063) - you deserved it (2786)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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