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Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

by kobolobo / 08/11/2015 at 12:45pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was driving to work and stopped at a stop light. A full 2 or 3 seconds passed, followed by a car rear-ending me. The idiot driving it got out and gave me hell, calling me a maniac because I braked "too quickly" and didn't give him a chance to react. FML

by WTF / 09/27/2015 at 3:57am / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

by Saw / 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I dyed my hair blonde for my boyfriend, hoping it would help spice up our sex life. His response? It's still a few shades off from his favorite porn star. FML

by Blondegirl / 11/07/2009 at 7:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

by ohfantastic / 01/24/2009 at 9:47pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML

by jesifairy / 04/13/2012 at 12:46am / Australia / Love

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

by hypocrite / 07/03/2012 at 12:43pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML

by blink_kid / 08/10/2012 at 8:57am / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

by bleachingmykidsbrains / 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

by BandAid1865 / 07/26/2015 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at a store, my stuttering problem became so bad the poor store clerk had to supply my own words for me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 8:32pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

by JukeboxValkyrie / 02/16/2012 at 2:52am / United States (Florida) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.