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Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

by hamiltonma / 07/04/2015 at 1:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend decided to start an argument and storm off the train we were on. Two stops later, ticket inspectors hopped on the train. He had our tickets. FML

by rinala / 07/01/2012 at 3:07am / Transportation

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

by Saw / 02/10/2012 at 9:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

by cookiecrust / 12/07/2009 at 9:44am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

by deadgrass / 03/28/2012 at 8:44pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

by David / 11/08/2012 at 12:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove across two states to see my brother, who's had a history of heart problems. My mother had sent me a long e-mail saying he was on his death bed and wanted to talk to me to "get his affairs in order." When I arrived worriedly, he was fine. My mother guilt-tripped me to come visit. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2015 at 2:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

by Karie-Rose / 02/06/2010 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

by whoevenncares / 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked nice in my profile picture. I began to reply "Aww, thank you!" until he sent another message saying "Mostly because your face isn't in it." FML

by hayleediaz / 07/16/2015 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

by Falouila / 12/17/2008 at 2:15am / Love

Today, I got up the courage to go to my very first voice lesson. I thought I did alright, but at the end my teacher told me, "Now don't worry about grades in this class, I grade on effort, not on talent." FML

by Lizz / 02/06/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous