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Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20427) - you deserved it (3477)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20426) - you deserved it (3995)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a conference for work. When I got there I sat beside a woman about my age. She immediately got up and moved to the opposite side of the room. We were the only two there. FML

#8148344
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (5321)

On 02/11/2010 at 10:32pm - work - by Female - United States

Today, while taking the trash out, the old cranky elevator in my apartment complex finally gave up on life. For a long hour I was stuck between floors 4 and 5, practically embracing my bio-waste can. FML

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (8247)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to tell my doctor the real reason why I can't sleep at night for him to prescribe me anymore Ambien: I still have the irrational fear that there are monsters in the closet. I'm 22. FML

#12616432
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (13398)

On 08/19/2010 at 12:10am - health - by Sleeeeeep - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

#8106835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/10/2010 at 9:33pm - work - by roundemup (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (2523) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20415) - you deserved it (2007)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (91422)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, thanks to my brilliant hairstylist, I ended up with a brand new haircut, which I like to call the "Bowler hat-and-Spaghetti" cut. FML

#8719184
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20400) - you deserved it (2886)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:00pm - misc - by AtikaSucks (woman) - Tunisia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

#6951563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20398) - you deserved it (4683)

On 12/26/2009 at 2:22am - intimacy - by boyfriendisatoss (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my grandparents' house, when the power went out. Even though we were supplied with candles and flashlights, we still had to stumble around in the darkness. They'd left both the candles and flashlights in the pitch black, unnavigable basement. FML

#17654474
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20397) - you deserved it (2698)

On 09/03/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by itsgonnabealongnight... (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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