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Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

#12959324
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (30125)

On 09/08/2010 at 2:53am - intimacy - by dom - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

#236958
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (69204)

On 03/07/2009 at 8:15pm - intimacy - by vibratorgirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (62950)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had it off. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

#6126776
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (3837)

On 11/02/2009 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20523) - you deserved it (2814)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my staff doesn't take me seriously. I walked in on my chef, who had just spent an hour and half a block of cheese carving cheddar goggles for himself. When I confronted him, he pulled up his t-shirt to reveal a cocktail sausage taped to his stomach. FML

#8819717
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (5274)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:43am - work - by Garry (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (3215)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML

#17620390
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (3614)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

#19279309
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (8841)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go out when I noticed that after several months of annoyance, the faucet stopped dripping. I started to dance around my bathroom when all of a sudden I slipped and hit my head on the sink. The faucet is dripping again. FML

#7034153
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (12620)

On 12/30/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by dripping sink - United States

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (5190)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went into Whole Foods asking if they carried a supplement called Carnosine. The girl assisting me had no idea what it was, but asked, "Is this for weight loss?" FML

#19656281
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20512) - you deserved it (4120)

On 05/21/2012 at 8:10am - health - by medosin (woman) - Austria

Today, my company announced a new name. They also announced new coffee mugs with the name on them. They've not announced raises in over 3 years. FML

#19324778
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20509) - you deserved it (2065)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:17am - work - by glens - United States



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