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Today, I went to the orthodontist's to get my braces tightened, and I chose baby blue bands. Turns out they make my teeth look extremely yellow. Only a month and a half to go. FML

#19656239
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (4336)

On 05/21/2012 at 7:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (2882)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

#7144399
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (7057)

On 01/04/2010 at 10:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML

#19282495
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (11569)

On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (33034)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

#18080163
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19594) - you deserved it (31212)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm - money - by Pimaan - United States

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

#19073869
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (2978)

On 02/14/2012 at 1:05pm - misc - by random - United States

Today, I was at Target with my mom. After 10 minutes of my mom walking around looking confused, I said, "Mom, what are you looking for? I worked at this place for 4 years, I know where everything is." My mom was looking for KY. FML

#1288
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by kallens - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

#8958709
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (2695)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:12pm - health - by whoanoa (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

#1563440
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (79303)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19580) - you deserved it (1987)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19579) - you deserved it (9103)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my dad decided that he wanted to start a collection of sporks. They're filling up our car. FML

#18761423
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19579) - you deserved it (2008)

On 01/09/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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