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Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (4496)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18393) - you deserved it (12515)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18391) - you deserved it (11867)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

#5424386
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18389) - you deserved it (6074)

On 09/23/2009 at 6:43am - intimacy - by fuzzy (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (2443)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

#715
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18388) - you deserved it (4716)

On 01/06/2009 at 3:28am - misc - by Fred - Sent from mobile version

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (50617)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I reached that point in our relationship where just a simple phone conversation was too boring. His idea to spice things up? Playing Minecraft together. FML

#20035502
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (6003)

On 08/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by Minecraftwhyyy (woman) - United States

Today, some friends told me that my natural body odor smells like cooked beef and roasted onions. I'm disgustingly delicious. FML

#19972809
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18384) - you deserved it (3934)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:34am - health - by hungry? - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18383) - you deserved it (3829)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

#19543754
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (2536)

On 04/28/2012 at 6:44pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (47604)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18379) - you deserved it (3225)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)



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