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Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

#20894041
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (2086)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (41390)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

#759
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21138) - you deserved it (6446)

On 12/30/2008 at 3:30pm - money - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21139) - you deserved it (2044)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (50771)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

#7678030
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (2793)

On 01/29/2010 at 4:38pm - misc - by minette08 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21136) - you deserved it (27221)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two friends from high school. We saw a girl that we graduated with at the restaurant. The girl gave both of them hugs and introduced herself to me. FML

#748
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (1828)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by bex - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (3200)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

#20055365
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (1522)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

#14297205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (4979)

On 12/22/2010 at 11:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)



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