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Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML

#20185421
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17695) - you deserved it (4339)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years role-plays on the internet, pretending to have sex with men. His response when I confronted him about it? "Which specific incidents are you referring to?" FML

#7412437
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17690) - you deserved it (2362)

On 01/18/2010 at 1:03am - intimacy - by heterolifepartner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to buy a wrist brace for a repetitive strain injury. I got the injury because I was knitting too much. I'm 22. FML

#11365863
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (23750)

On 06/21/2010 at 9:28pm - health - by GrannyAt22 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17688) - you deserved it (83364)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I said thanks to a man who got up for me in the bus. He angrily said "no, not you!". The old lady who sat down is now staring at me. FML

#439
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (6582)

On 12/03/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by pam - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (3500)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (57063)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17672) - you deserved it (49961)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

#2412589
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (42619)

On 05/29/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by pissingcontest (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was babysitting, and we were playing a game. Because he was little, I let him win all the games. He then turned to me and said, "You're really bad at this." I got very defensive and won the next game, and was actually proud that I beat a 3-year-old. FML

#20117136
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (7942)

On 10/14/2012 at 8:45pm - kids - by amiliaroberts123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

#19083998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17664) - you deserved it (12501)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:26am - health - by too tight (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML



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