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Today, I was assigned to work on a huge project with Michael. Michael refers to himself in the third person, constantly mumbles unintelligibly to himself, doesn't smile, laugh or make eye contact, and refuses to address me directly. I'll be stuck with him for about four months. FML

#19855807
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (1976)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:53pm - work - by NoMagicMike (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got into a slight spot of shit with my new boss over his speech. Apparently he was not actually impersonating Sylvester the Cat, and he just has a speech impediment. When I jokingly said "sufferin' succotash" to him, he wasn't pleased at all. FML

#21056453
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (38767)

On 02/10/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (1665)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a club. She said I look hilarious when I dance drunk. I was completely sober. FML

#21436510
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (2778)

On 07/04/2015 at 9:48pm - misc - by Bad Dancer - United States (South Carolina)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I missed multiple calls from the company I applied to. That was the supervisor calling, wanting to hire me. I then remembered my idiotic voicemail I made months ago where I pretended to answer and say stupid stuff for 5 minutes. I don't think I'm going to get the job. FML

#20627029
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (51829)

On 04/28/2013 at 5:09am - work - by stupid voicemails - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I went to my favorite bar after work for a drink. On my way to the porch out back, I didn't realize the sliding glass door was shut, and walked straight into it. I was stone cold sober, but the bartender refused to believe me, and cut me off before my first beer. FML

#20056910
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20626) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was on my laptop, I decided to take a nap. Little did I know that my leg was covering up the cool air intake underneath the machine. I woke up an hour later with a first degree burn on my thigh. From a laptop. FML

#2080741
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (40977)

On 05/19/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by laptopsRus (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML

#5113950
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20622) - you deserved it (42556)

On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I dropped my keys in the drain. Thankfully, my new flat mate generously offered his help to reach the keys via flower pot. FML

#244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/07/2008 at 9:18am - misc - by Mandoune - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (5176)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)



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