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Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

#18624814
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (33166)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by ;)loganberry(; - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (31053)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I went out for ice cream. We somehow started talking about which of our relatives had died. Right when she was talking about how her grandfather had died, I started laughing. She had gotten ice cream all over her face. She broke up with me. FML

#13431152
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8057) - you deserved it (30379)

On 10/13/2010 at 5:02am - love - by your mother (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

#20513703
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8057) - you deserved it (21892)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to impress my wife by doing a bunch of push-ups, despite having a bad shoulder. She told me my form sucks and that I'm an idiot. Now I can barely move my arm and I'm going to have to get it fixed. FML

#19122555
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8054) - you deserved it (27874)

On 02/20/2012 at 12:36pm - love - by WTA (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

#13921347
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8049) - you deserved it (55646)

On 11/21/2010 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Mexico (Morelos)

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8048) - you deserved it (17724)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8047) - you deserved it (110800)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing basketball outside in my driveway. I saw three cute girls walking by, so I thought I would try to show off a little by doing a backwards slam dunk. I jumped, completely missed the rim and hit my head on the backboard. Then my mom ran out to help me up. FML

#13401445
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8043) - you deserved it (35197)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My cell phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML

#10516903
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8042) - you deserved it (27834)

On 05/13/2010 at 10:11pm - misc - by BigMouth McRedface (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML

#7070203
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8040) - you deserved it (24002)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:07am - intimacy - by meeranda - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

#15647734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8040) - you deserved it (49045)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:30am - work - by randa -

Today, I was in a hurry to catch a plane. I got half way to the airport and realized I forgot my phone. I drove back to the house and searched for it. I finally gave up and returned to the airport only to find that I was 10 minutes late for my plane. Just then my pocket vibrated. FML

#7158067
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8032) - you deserved it (32460)

On 01/05/2010 at 1:40am - misc - by Allen - France



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