By Vehophobic - 21/9/2020 07:05 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Not a car person

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML
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By  maeh_fml  |  6

It sucks that he is pressuring to do something you're not comfortable with, but my advice would be to go ahead and do a few lessons with a driving instructor. They can intervene if you do something dangerous by mistake so nothing can happen to you really. If you're still scared then, you can always stop.
I put off getting my license for years because I was absolutely terrified as well, but I promise you, it really is not that hard once you get over the initial shock. Good luck!

By  nyoot  |  4

I was always scared to learn to drive too, now it's one of my favorite things. Like others have said, take it slow, have an instructor with you, and you can always stop if you're scared. :)

COMMENTS
By  maeh_fml  |  6

It sucks that he is pressuring to do something you're not comfortable with, but my advice would be to go ahead and do a few lessons with a driving instructor. They can intervene if you do something dangerous by mistake so nothing can happen to you really. If you're still scared then, you can always stop.
I put off getting my license for years because I was absolutely terrified as well, but I promise you, it really is not that hard once you get over the initial shock. Good luck!

Reply
  awildwhisper  |  30

My school had a mandatory driving class I had to take to graduate. I put it off a year before finally taking it because I was so terrified. I hated it and once I got my license I didn't touch another car. I used buses and had people drive me for years. Finally I got a house with my partner in a location with no buses and had to learn to drive. It's been 6 months and I still hate it and I'm still really bad at it, however he was really patient with me and now I'm at least able to get to places on my own. I went from crying at the wheel to being able to tolerate it. I wish I hadn't put it off this long and I'd advise anyone else that's scared to also find a really patient teacher and learn.

Maybe your grandpa just wants to see you reach that milestone of not letting your fears control you or he wants to see you be independent and drive because his generation fought for woman to have that right. Idk his reason, but I think he'd be very proud to see you accomplish that which scares you.

By  nyoot  |  4

I was always scared to learn to drive too, now it's one of my favorite things. Like others have said, take it slow, have an instructor with you, and you can always stop if you're scared. :)

By  xxlk4xx  |  2

I totally get it! it took me so long to finally get my license because I was so scared of driving, actually it still scares me a lot, its something you can do when you're mentally ready to do it, even tho it still terrifies me I'm really glad i started driving. just remember you dont HAVE to drive if you dont want to, there are so many successful people out there who do not drive or cant drive due to medical issues and they get around just fine!

By  wysegirl  |  19

Probably wants you to become independent?? Get the help you need to work through your fear.

By  MsGamerLady  |  5

I'm the exact same way
I'm 28 years old and still don't drive. My fiance forced me to drive the car for like a mile the other day and it terrified me but we survived lol. It was actually kind of fun but idk about doing it again 😅

By  Jonkbaby  |  19

he might be lonely and scared and wants to connect. tell him you don't want to learn to drive but would like to have some tea or something like that

By  Chazzster  |  20

In the USA, it’s practically impossible to go to a job, shopping, home and just live your life without driving unless you live in the one of the few large metro areas with good mass transit (like New York). Depending on where you live in the UK your lack of driving skills (and a vehicle) might be perceived as limiting where you can work or live. It may be that your Grandfather wants you to have more choices available in your life - That would be my guess.

I agree with those who wrote that you should take lessons. Until you give it a good try you won’t know what you might be missing. If that doesn’t work out after several professional driving lessons then you know that at least you tried. I do urge using a professional driving instructor and not a friend or parent to teach you. Being able to drive does not automatically make you skilled in teaching driving. I tried to teach my daughter and then my son to drive and it was not a good experience either for the teacher or student. When you are learning something you need an emotionally safe space to learn, ask questions, and even make a few mistakes. That can be a difficult thing to accomplish between a parent and child or with friends.