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Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML

#15362432
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (31105)

On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML

#6676757
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (4227)

On 12/09/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by dfkjhregoiuberiug (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

#19682386
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/26/2012 at 7:06am - kids - by Never Work With Animals or Children (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

#19641486
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21149) - you deserved it (4703)

On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, it's been a full week since my last orthodontist appointment and I still can't eat anything besides Slimfast and pudding. FML

#14520919
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21147) - you deserved it (2837)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

#20061073
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (2373)

On 09/06/2012 at 9:56pm - kids - by Chouse - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21144) - you deserved it (3923)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21143) - you deserved it (2636)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (1929)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, for an eight hour flight to Copenhagen, Denmark, I paid extra to get a seat offering more leg room. Unfortunately, the man behind me was so tall, his knees were pressing against my back the entire flight. FML

#14600562
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21142) - you deserved it (3304)

On 01/16/2011 at 12:17pm - money - by jetlagged (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I asked my dad why he only has pictures of me from when I was a little kid. Without skipping a beat, he said, "I only keep pictures from when I liked you." FML

#20894041
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21141) - you deserved it (2085)

On 09/24/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21140) - you deserved it (41385)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21137) - you deserved it (50766)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)



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