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Today, some idiot did burnouts in the school parking lot. I got blamed because my car looks the same. I didn't even get a chance to defend myself, and now I have 8 weeks of detention. FML

#21494852
63 comments

Today, I had to renew my driver's license at the DMV. Earlier, I was in a play and was still covered in stage makeup. I didn't realize that not all of it had come off until after my picture was taken and put on my new license. For the next three years, I'll be the guy with the dark eyeliner. FML

#18247557
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24106) - you deserved it (8509)

On 11/14/2011 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24104) - you deserved it (1611)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24099) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (4086)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (4461)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML

#19597798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24098) - you deserved it (2209)

On 05/09/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (3082)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML

#6367653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (6388)

On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML

#9001773
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (2112)

On 03/11/2010 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24096) - you deserved it (5646)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (7243)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my dog drinking out of the toilet. My daughter was next to him, also drinking from the toilet. FML

#21464273
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24093) - you deserved it (2670)

On 09/03/2015 at 9:06pm - kids - by whoevenncares - United States



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