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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I finally picked up my new bank card after my old one was stolen. It took the bank six weeks and five separate orders to figure it out, on top of which they've charged me a rush fee. FML

#20046256
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19295) - you deserved it (1524)

On 08/28/2012 at 1:50pm - money - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19294) - you deserved it (6182)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to an email confirming my membership to a dating site. Turns out my mother is as annoyed by my loveless life as I am. FML

#19708728
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19292) - you deserved it (2091)

On 05/31/2012 at 7:29am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19288) - you deserved it (44277)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria when one of my friends yelled out "Jake is uncircumcised!" as a joke. The girl I have a crush on was sitting at the table behind me and turned around and asked if it was true. I said yes, she responded with "wow, hope I never have to see that." FML

#5921737
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/20/2009 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by badnewsbears (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19284) - you deserved it (4647)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while painting a wall, I handed a bucket of paint up to my friend who was standing on the top rung of a ladder. She said she felt dizzy, and came crashing down on me, along with the paint on my head. FML

#19306494
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (2209)

On 03/19/2012 at 8:39am - misc - by fuuu. - Hong Kong

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

#20508952
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19273) - you deserved it (55006)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

#8578589
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19267) - you deserved it (9517)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by itsawonderfulife (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML

#15378969
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (36536)

On 03/19/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Uh oh... - United States

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (76914)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19263) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)



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