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Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML

#19625329
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (4192)

On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (2415)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

#1653845
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17832) - you deserved it (59546)

On 05/05/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (1776)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17827) - you deserved it (7169)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (59969)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17821) - you deserved it (43309)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17819) - you deserved it (45014)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I queued up for few hours in torrential rain to see the Harry Potter premiere. After just four hours sleep and waking at 3am, I fell asleep during film and missed the whole thing. FML

#3549389
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (57634)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was at my job life-guarding, when a woman pushed the spine-board over, hitting me on the back of my head. She laughed, but I now have a concussion and a stiff neck, and my co-workers can't stop laughing at the "irony." FML

#19591635
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (1361)

On 05/08/2012 at 10:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met an old friend, with whom I have a complicated history and we hooked up. He came before we even started. In his sleep, he pushed me out of the bed. When I woke up, he had peed himself in his sleep. Glad I let that ship sail. FML

#17959088
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17814) - you deserved it (21653)

On 10/11/2011 at 10:51am - intimacy - by CC (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary at the park. I was watching him play around with the wood chips on the ground and thought I saw him making a heart being romantic, so I got on top of the playground to look. Turns out it was the balls of a giant penis, complete with pubes. FML

#8490990
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17811) - you deserved it (3591)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by lost_ina_dream (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17810) - you deserved it (3304)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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