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Today, after confronting my husband about lack of intimacy in our marriage, I found him playing with himself. His response to my shock was ‘This is less work and less involving.’ FML

#9100047
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21172) - you deserved it (4428)

On 03/15/2010 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

#20200774
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (1943)

On 12/11/2012 at 6:03pm - misc - by JPPUDLY (man) - United States (California)

Today, my tire blew while I was on the freeway. I had to change the tire in pouring rain while wearing short shorts and flip-flops. No one stopped to help, but several people politely honked as if to remind me of my misfortune. FML

#20062636
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21170) - you deserved it (3301)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by wonder woman (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tripped over my own shoelace after explaining to my boyfriend that my shoes being untied were good luck for me. He then took that as the grand opportunity to tell me that we were breaking up. FML

#2742
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21165) - you deserved it (6775)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:54pm - love - by CaptainSosuke - United States (California)

Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML

#4299524
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (42646)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

#20397555
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (2723)

On 12/13/2012 at 3:01am - love - by Hit-and-Run - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, two drop dead gorgeous Australians asked me for directions. Being so shocked by their beauty and accents, I couldn't get words out of my mouth. The one said to the other "Nope she doesn't speak English", then walked away. FML

#19337051
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (9575)

On 03/24/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by jennag5 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (31444)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (8108)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (6677)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

#17743700
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21155) - you deserved it (11206)

On 09/14/2011 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while waiting for an interview at the career that I've been spending months tailoring my résumé for, I was thrown up on by my only competitor. Guess who got the job. FML

#21448834
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (1333)

On 07/28/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by smellslikeahangover - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my computer which had been at the repair shop for two weeks. I quickly logged on to MSN to talk to the girl who I'd been hitting on for weeks. Her profile picture was a photo of herself with her new boyfriend. FML

#531
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21154) - you deserved it (4295)

On 12/17/2008 at 2:15am - love - by Falouila - Sent from mobile version



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