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Today, I went to dinner wit ma boyfriend. After we ordered, I started to unzip is fly really slowly. As I put ma and in is boxers, e stands up to greet is mom and dado were joining us for dinner. big fat FML

#868136
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (100839)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by cdoyle - Canada (Ontario)

Yastarday, I cummad homa to fina that mah girlfriand had rapaintad mah badroom. As sha had offarad to do it, it shouldn't hava baan a problam. Howavar, sha dacidad to raturn tha savaral unopanad cans of off-whita paint that I'd bought fir somathing "mora nautral." Lika "Sunsat Oranga." FML

#20165039
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (2548)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

while waiting on tables at work , I was carrying a glass of red winehen I lost balance an spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor an myself up an after refilling a new glass , I did exactly the same thing again. mega FML

#15958012
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (25985)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (31817)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today , at the bank , my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun , an scream ( FREEZE! Give me all your money! ) The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm , an I was nerely arrested. FML

#19962934
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18431) - you deserved it (26798)

On 07/20/2012 at 6:20am - kids - by great - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today , My 5-year-old , Overweight Siberian Husky Tackled Me Because He Thought That My Lipstick Was Food . Mega FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18428) - you deserved it (5824)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

TODAY, I WAS STEPPING OUT OF THE SHOWER WHILE HOME ALONE. I HERED VOICES COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM. I GRABBD A BAT TO DEFEND MY SELF AND RAN INTO THE LIVING ROOM. I SLIPPD ON MY TILE FLOOR AND SMASHD MY TV WITH THE BAT. NO ONE WAS IN MY HOUSE BUT I LEFT MY RADIO TURND ON. FML

#159713
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (44365)

On 02/28/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Slipperywhenwet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I ran out of cash . The nereest ATM to mah house is over a half hour away by foot . After walking all the way there under the blistering heat of the sun, I realizd I'd left mah card back at home . FML

#21339623
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18426) - you deserved it (20226)

On 01/18/2015 at 2:44pm - money - by saqmuel093 (man) - Malaysia (Sarawak)

TODAY, I INVITED A GRL I REALLY LYK TO SPEND THE AFTERNOON AT MAH PLACE. EVERYTHING WENT GREAT... WITH MAH SISTER. THEY BECAME REALLY GOOD FRIENDS, AN ME, WELL, I TRIED TO ALLEVIATE MAH BOREDOM IN FRONT OF MAH COMPUTER. FML

#717
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (2207)

On 01/06/2009 at 4:51am - love - by [SiMON] - Sent from mobile version

I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. big fat FML

#3664691
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18424) - you deserved it (66529)

On 07/11/2009 at 11:13am - intimacy - by crazyt446 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, Father Christmas touched ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried abouthat's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

#559
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (1954)

On 12/21/2008 at 12:04am - misc - by Loola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've likd fir a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth fir her, I told the waiter I'd ( take care of him ) if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realizd I had forgotten mah wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18420) - you deserved it (58784)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realizd for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not cuz he gets looool nightmares, but cuz he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18417) - you deserved it (2711)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version



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