Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

#5719271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8124) - you deserved it (43039)

On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)

Today, I rented a 4x4 to take my wife to a secret secluded beach for our anniversary. I got as close as I could to the spot and parked on the beach. After a few romantic hours we returned to find the car half way up the windows with water. I forgot it was king tide. FML

#14647477
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8124) - you deserved it (24517)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:11am - misc - by fmljae -

Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML

#3091991
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (57751)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by creepyeyes (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (22486)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30330)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8116) - you deserved it (43847)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

#5131890
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8115) - you deserved it (38026)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my skin was turning black, and I believed I was reacting to a spider bite. I spent 4 hours waiting in an emergency room in the middle of the night, paid a $100 copay, and missed a night with my boyfriend just to have a doctor wipe dye from my brand new black jeans off with alcohol. FML

#4406173
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (48557)

On 08/09/2009 at 11:23am - health - by Brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (22145)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

#8052181
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8112) - you deserved it (31716)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

#17367544
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (108855)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm - money - by Joe - United States (Florida)

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

#17642045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (27171)

On 09/02/2011 at 3:48am - work - by dragos_dgt (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8100) - you deserved it (20759)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: