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The all-time greatest FMLs

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 552

It's all downhill from here

By That guy - 27/02/2026 15:00

Today, I’m so over this shite. I’ve been on the hunt for a job for 2 years. I have 30 years of management experience in multiple fields. I get interviews but never get hired. I even apply for entry level jobs and still can’t get hired. Prior to COVID, I’d never interviewed for a job I didn’t get. This economy sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 89

Farrah Faucet

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I set about fixing the leaky, loose water tap in my kitchen. After hours of struggling with tools and rubber washers, I'd apparently finally managed to stop the leak. Proud of my handiwork, I turned on the main water to test it. The tap handle shot off, spraying water everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 163

Thanks, Walt

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Kirkcaldy

Today, it turned out that letting my daughter watch '101 Dalmatians' backfired; our dog gave birth to two gorgeous pups but she can't stop crying and asking where 'the rest of them' went. Apparently she's been telling her friends all week that she'd soon have 15 puppies to play with, and now will never be happy again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 153

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 31/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 289

Revealed

By PartyPoop - 28/08/2021 02:00

Today, at my gender reveal party, my daughter threw a huge temper tantrum and knocked over tables and chairs screaming, “Fuck this shit!” when the reveal came out pink. She’s five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 277

Origin story

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend of six months was holding me and said, "I'm glad she sent you to my room." We met at a bar. Later I learned that, when he was younger and in a foreign country for a mission, a nurse in his hotel sent a younger nurse to his room. It felt as bad as being called by another woman's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 125

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 018

Clown car

By The lonely wife - 26/02/2026 09:00

Today, I love the fact that my husband is such a great father. He’s strong, supportive, caring, present, loving, an all around great role model. He’s literally everything anyone could ask for in a dad. I just wish he realized he also has a wife. I feel like I only exist to give him more kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 97

Check yourself out

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 190

There's a Brendon Burns joke in there somewhere

By Fucking, Impossible - 23/12/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I was attacked with the classic "I fucked your mom" joke. I calmly informed the troll that my mom is 51, obese, still married to my father after 20+ years, and, most importantly, had a life-saving hysterectomy when I was five. He still insisted that he did the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 255

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 151

Sounds like a sitcom

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 16:00

Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 1 762

I'm fine, this is fine

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, feeling pretty proud of myself for working out consistently for the past month. As I was about to grab a towel, I tripped and landed face-first into a pile of gym mats. People turned to look, and all I could do was try to laugh it off through the pain of what turned out to be a sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 105

What? How?

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 10:00

Today, I was at the chiropractor's being examined. As we were finding all my problem areas, she said to me, “It’s almost like you spend a lot of time with all your weight on one shoulder while doing a repetitive twisting motion.” She just described mine and my wife’s favourite sex position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 222

Brain fog

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 210

'Tis always the way

By Christine - 09/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 78

The literal smell test

By Yudith - 02/12/2024 12:00 - Canada

Today, my boss held his polo shirt one inch from my nose and asked me to smell it. He said that he was going into one of our tenants' apartment and wanted to smell him before and after so I could judge said apartment's cleanliness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 82

Unstable

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 20:00

Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 65

Corruption

By fmlfromnorway - 12/11/2024 15:00 - Norway - Nedre Frei

Today, my boyfriend just told me that his mom told him to break up with me, and that she would pay him to do it. His mom is a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 109

Panic mode

By jessie nex - 01/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I felt like doing a good deed, so when I bought something at a store I told the cashier to keep the change. The cashier then panicked and said, “What do I do???” Turns out, I was her first ever customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 144

Happy birthday!

By Happy Birthday to me - 18/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 128

Unloveable

By keerah - 20/12/2024 03:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I came to find out that each person I've ever dated was either set up by my dad or by my sister. I'm fuming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 139

What the hell is this workplace?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 22:00

Today, it’s been so long since I got laid, I decided to rub one out in the office bathroom. I did it twice (morning/afternoon), and both times, there were two different guys clearly doing the same thing. The downstairs office bathroom is apparently a pit of desperation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 637

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband kicked me out because I told him I'm having an abortion. He just doesn't understand that with the way our country is right now, and how bad the economy is, it's just not a good idea to have kids at the present time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 653

Second opinion

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my mental health is in the crapper because of the steroid I was prescribed for my severe inflammation. I'm not even 30, and my choices are to either be so mentally messed up that I can barely function, or in so much pain that I can't even look over my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 99

New roommate?

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, I walked into my kitchen to find a pigeon sitting on my stovetop. I live in a completely sealed apartment on the 12th floor of a NYC apartment building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 81

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 52

Turn left into the lake

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 22:00

Today, I got into a heated, one-sided argument with my GPS, and ended up driving around in circles for an hour due to roadworks messing with my GPS's computations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 592

Small town

By Anonymous - 14/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I finally left New York and moved back to my little hometown, only for the job I had lined up to fall through. Now I'm unemployed, can't find anything, and my parents aren't willing to help because they're angry that I "walked out on the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 98

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The Top

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 587

You deserved it 18 872

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 766

You deserved it 3 375

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 590

You deserved it 9 087

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 028

You deserved it 6 979

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 772

You deserved it 3 784

Today, I thought I'd make my own coffee at home to save money. As I was grinding the beans, my flatmate's pet parrot decided to join the party and imitate the noise of the coffee grinder. For an hour. I ended up with a headache, a half-finished cup of coffee, and a parrot that now thinks it's a barista. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 173