Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
Today, I rang my girlfriend to make sure she made it home alright. She told me to check my Facebook. Nothing was different so I hit refresh. We were no longer in a relationship. I got dumped via Facebook whilst on the phone to her. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he wasn't on Facebook for the last two days. It turned out his father found out we were talking, and banned him from logging on. He's 19. FML
Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
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Top comments
darlingdollie 24
That was insensitive of him. Sorry OP, I know how you feel. I'm always here for you or anyone reading this. :)
Space_Teddy 29
That's just mean
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Comments (89)
Space_Teddy 29
That's just mean
Rockabs 8
Times like this I'm glad my parents don't know how to use Facebook.
darlingdollie 24
That was insensitive of him. Sorry OP, I know how you feel. I'm always here for you or anyone reading this. :)
StillUsesMyspace 22
So I just murdered 18 cats and don't know what to do, can you please help me?
syki 22
If I were you, I wouldn't taco 'bout that. I'm pretty sure 3's nacho friend anymore.
ginger196 14
WTF?!?!? that's a terrible thing to say!
silvercamaro 22
#14- Where are you basing these puns off of?...
syki 22
Dammit, I knew nobody would get it. It's 11's profile pic.
imlifeless2 25
Insensitive, and (correct me if I'm wrong,) illegal. I think its against the law to record and post private phone conversations on the internet without both people's consent. I don't know, but still, your dads asshole level is through the roof, OP!
HunterMark 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guess you saved a life then
itwasthedognotme 14
Shut up
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Your dad clearly has the maturity of a 14 year old. Take heart OP.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
That's an insult to 14 year olds.
BossCactus87 5
#5 I'm 13 and I have more maturity in a finger than that guy has in his entire body...
Donkness 9
I don't know what 14 year olds you know, but the ones I know actually have respect and courtesy.
llamaslikesoda 21
#37 Wait, you're 13..? Why are you on FML? There's intimate, adult, text language, everywhere.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"When a guy whistles to you, don't respond. You're a lady , not a dog."
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Sorry, wrong FML
TheAbstract 15
Nonono, I think you're on to something here.
MzZombicidal 36
Aww, that was extremely rude of him! That was a private matter and he had no right to put your business out there like that or crack such harsh "jokes"... I hope you feel better soon, OP. Anyone who's willing to cheat is never worth the hurt. I'm here if you need to talk!
niamhyo 13
at least you don't need to tell people now
Adam5858 17
Sometimes you wonder about these messed up parents
bcofelia 22
I'm sorry OP. That was really insensitive. I hope you find someone right for you, and your dad realizes what a jerk he was.
Maturemale22s 2
funny
sweetbliss3 37
which ones funnier? OP being cheated on, or having his personal business thrown out in the open by someone you should be able to trust? you, also, are a dick.
sexaybitch 14
#13 Really? Are you serious? I hope that you were kidding about that. Nobody needs a cheating girlfriend and a mean dad.
keirookami 11
for a 'maturemale' you're not very mature