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The all-time greatest FMLs

Luxury pain in the ass

By Elisa - 05/06/2024 14:00 - France - Gradignan

Today, I'm broke and just started working in a restaurant at a luxury hotel. On my first day, the director had told me to get rid of my blue dyed hair. Back at work with a new fresh 57€ cut and no blue in sight, he saw me. I have some blonde streaks in the back, and if I don't get rid of them within a week, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 326

Unstable

By Anonymous - 30/01/2026 20:00

Today, it was my first day out of hospital and being able to walk outside. I went to a shop and an old lady backed up into me and elbowed the exact stop on my back the pain starts from. I hit the floor like a ton of bricks and had to go back to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 65

BYOKA

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 96

In transit

By Unexpected Journey Chronicles - 08/03/2024 09:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, I was supposed to fly Prague, but emergency landed in Vienna. No word from the company or airport. After 4 hours of waiting, I took a FlixBus. Just as it left, I got a call: new plane in 90 minutes. My girlfriend was eagerly anticipating my return, ready for some fun, but now I'm delayed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 160

Kitchen nightmare

By Defeated by cups - 21/11/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get a cup from the designated cabinet. As soon as I opened it, a glass cup fell down, which I narrowly saved from breaking by having it bounce off my foot. Obviously, that didn't feel good. But you know what also didn't feel good? The travel mug falling on my head immediately afterward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 134

Happy birthday!

By Happy Birthday to me - 18/12/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 128

Yapping and chirping

By My headphones were busted - 08/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was stuck on a packed interstate bus for hours next to 2 complete strangers, even to each other, have an debate about the "Drake and Kendrick beef." They even tried to drag me into it, so… if you happen to read this and recognize yourselves, I was the guy in a white UA hoodie pretending not to speak English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 98

Get out

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband threw my brother out for wearing his dressing gown and eating his snacks, saying it was the final straw for his lazy, thieving, unemployed ass. I support my husband obviously, but now my parents are mad at me because my brother moved back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 117

Second opinion

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my mental health is in the crapper because of the steroid I was prescribed for my severe inflammation. I'm not even 30, and my choices are to either be so mentally messed up that I can barely function, or in so much pain that I can't even look over my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 100

All you can eat buffet of shit

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad insisted on taking us to a local buffet that is known for bad food and botulism. He kept piling things onto a plate for me, despite my objections. A waitress commented on how much was on my plate. I told her I wasn't hungry, and it was my dad's doing. Her response, "Your skinny self needs to eat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 114

Turn left into the lake

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 22:00

Today, I got into a heated, one-sided argument with my GPS, and ended up driving around in circles for an hour due to roadworks messing with my GPS's computations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 594

Share the shame

By Ughh - 05/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I learned why a guy at work hates me when he drunkenly confessed it at a work retreat. Apparently I look like a gay teenager he had a horrible awkward one-night stand with, and every time he sees me he gets mad at himself. I could have gone my whole life without knowing that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 58

A shadow of my former self

By NurseIAm - 04/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Belchertown

Today, I interviewed at a hospital and shadowed on the unit. Within two hours, I had been splashed with blood, and witnessed a young patient abruptly die, imprinting a horrible memory. Traumatized, and not even selected for hire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 150

Desperate

By Anonymous - 24/06/2023 18:00

Today, the guy I gave up all my social life and casual sex partner for, suddenly decided that he wants nothing to do with me sexually, and then called me "desperate" for wanting to be his friend despite that fact. Now, because of him, I'm no longer getting laid, and I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 1 650

Weather report

By Anonymous - 29/10/2023 12:00 - South Africa - Durbanville

Today, it's raining. I got up at 4:30 to be ready to start tiling a patio floor, which will take three days. The difficult customer wants it done in three days. How do I tile outside in the pouring rain? FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 55

Family

By You're next, ex-mom! - 08/02/2026 03:00

Today, I came home to see my house trespassed, vandalized, and looted by my cousin, whom I have always hated, and his friends. As I get the cops to haul them to jail, he got kicked out from home for the Nth time and said my mom invited them. When I confronted my mom about it, she dismissed it saying, "He's family!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 81

Alexa, play "Out of Time" by Blur

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my wife finally actually started trying with life again, perfectly in time for me to have already given up on us at the start of the week, having spent way too long trying to fix things. She keeps on pushing all this future planning stuff when I'm just wanting to walk at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 154

Biohazard

By Diane - 19/01/2025 12:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 155

Shortages

By Yudith - 18/11/2023 14:00 - Canada

Today, I tried yet again to get an appointment for the Covid plus flu vaccine. Nothing's available in my area for Covid, nothing's available in my area for the flu, and no Covid + flu shots. On the radio, they're telling us for the nth time that it's important to get vaccinated as flu season will be a doozie this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 280

Fair analysis

By Avnirvana - 07/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 804

So, the thing is…

By Hailee - 30/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I woke up to dozens of messages from friends and family, all asking about a video of me saying something awful. It wasn’t me. It was AI. But try explaining that to my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 76

Mental health day

By He needs help! - 18/11/2025 15:00

Today, my husband is furious with me for going behind his back and getting our son a psychological evaluation. His primary care physician, a psychologist, and a pediatric psychiatrist all agree that our son is AuDHD. My husband says no because he “doesn’t believe in that crap.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 129

Weird rules

By angel - 26/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was told to kill myself. Why? Because I DARED to put on deodorant when it’s cold outside. Apparently, you’re only supposed to need it when it’s hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 57

Busted

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 08:00

Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 322

Mixed signals, mixed results

By Anonymous - 07/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, the guy I'm in love with invited me out to a gig with him and his friends, only to then try to set me up with his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 132

Awkward

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 02:01

Today, I saw my friend's ex and noticed she had gained a ton of weight since he dated her and had been dating someone else. It reminded me of my friend, so I messaged him and made a joke about her being unrecognizable. He informed me that they started seeing each other again last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 396

My house, my rules

By Anonymous - 27/07/2022 00:01

Today, my daughter asked to go to a party and I said no, because I know some of the other people going and they're bad news. She then said she only asked permission as a courtesy, and is going anyway and just left. She lives with me but she did turn 18 last week, and I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 013

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 176

Damn algorithm

By a survivor - 31/03/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 486

More reasons to stay at home

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my local pub has now closed so now the only bar within staggering distance of my house is an entertainment centre. So now, if I want to drink myself blotto, I can no longer do it in peace and quiet, I have to do it to the background noise of some cartoon monkey and 100 rotten kids screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 192

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The Top

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 105

You deserved it 10 865

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 241

You deserved it 7 834

Today, I waited in line at a drive-through behind a man for ten minutes. I got out of my car, cursed at him, and then asked him to give me one good reason why it would take that long to order. The man slowly explained to me that he had a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 195

You deserved it 130 828

Today, to get back at me for our recent breakup, my ex put a "9/11 was an inside job!" bumper sticker on my car. I work for the government in New York City, and I just got a text saying that my manager wants to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 461

You deserved it 286

Today, my 6-year-old son apparently decided to make a game out of clogging the toilet with toilet paper. He won, and now the whole basement is flooded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 535

You deserved it 221

Today, we found out that my 13-year-old cousin is pregnant. My mom then turned to me and asked why I decided to wait so long. I’m only 20. Instead of being worried that this young girl has potentially ruined her entire life, my mom just complained that her sister "gets to be a grandma first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 555

You deserved it 163