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Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

#19045980
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (6943)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:03am - money - by jam - Australia

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (3837)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I finally turned 21 so my friends and I decided to go to a club. There, I met this hot waitress and we were really hitting it off. I decided to order a drink. She replied with, "No problem, kiddo." FML

#19810432
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (6320)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:28am - misc - by DerrickUhl - United States (California)

Today, a man in a hurry asked me for a light. Not being able to find my lighter amongst the muddle inside my handbag, I handed him my lit cigarette so he could light his. He took it from me, started smoking it and walked off. FML

#20860218
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (32243) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/30/2013 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonyme (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22302) - you deserved it (12701)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22297) - you deserved it (2608)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML

#20014051
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (3578)

On 08/10/2012 at 7:59pm - kids - by shira512 (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML

#20029295
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (5517)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

#19211416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (5719)

On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML

#20055321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (1817)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:39am - love - by mfnfhdjdjddjsjfn - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was sitting at a bus stop reading a book when out of the corner of my eye I spotted a middle-aged lady in a leopard-skin coat stumble up to me. She stopped, belched twice, and unleashed a torrent of red wine colored vomit onto my bag. It was 8:45 am. FML

#20067411
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (1260)

On 09/11/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend and her best friend compare the dumps they take to common transportation. They comment about it on each others facebook page. My girlfriend's last one was apparently a 'coach bus'. FML

#7600232
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22291) - you deserved it (3452)

On 01/26/2010 at 10:14pm - health - by poops - United States

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (10719)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States



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