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The all-time greatest FMLs

Amen

By Anonymous - 22/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, apparently my bathroom breaks have perfect comedic timing. My very religious parents were praying in the living room. I quietly snuck into the bathroom that's less than ten yards from where they're at. Right as they finished praying and saying "Amen" I let off a massive fart, and my dad burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 119

By embarrassed4life - 25/06/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 90

Long winded way of saying "No chance, mate"

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Kings Park

Today, I went out for dinner with my crush and expressed my love for her. She responded by saying that we should know that this is the real thing, and to do so we needed to date other people and let time bring us together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 122

Gunk

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 15/09/2023 20:00 - Canada - Stittsville

Today, I discovered the filter and drain thingy on my front end loader washing machine. I've had the machine for 7 years. I should've worn a gas mask cleaning it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 337

Medical miracle

By I'm mad because I never would've guessed it - 02/06/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, after a week of persistent allergy symptoms, I finally went to the doctor. The cause of everything was an ear infection. After getting an ear cleaning, all of my symptoms - including a sore throat and head, and constantly feeling as though I was going to vomit - disappeared. My ears didn't feel weird at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 126

Framed

By Anonymous - 02/05/2024 22:00 - United States - Bay Shore

Today, I tried joining a Roblox game, only to discover I was banned. According to the game's creator, it was because I'd exploited on an alt. The alt was an account intentionally impersonating me in order to frame me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 118

Dog park blues

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I took a peaceful walk through the park, and then sat on the grass. As I was enjoying the quiet, a dog appeared out of nowhere and decided my shoes were a chew toy. I spent 10 minutes trying to wrestle my shoes away from this dog, while its owner casually walked in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 73

By orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 81

Kinda gross

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 09:00

Today, while stripping the bed, I noticed black dots on my husband's side of the mattress, and only on his side. That’s when I realised it was mould, because he doesn’t like to towel dry, he likes to let the fan dry him while he’s lying on the bed wet and warm, perfect for mould. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 84

Wedding of the year

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I dreamed that I got so nervous during a toast at my friend's wedding that I pissed myself. To coax myself to wake up, I took off my dress, stripped down to my underwear, and pinched myself. I wasn't dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 1 190

Not a wife guy

By Anonymous - 24/01/2025 09:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a restaurant with my mother, where the waiter complimented my "wife". I'm not 18, and she's over 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 91

They're all out to get me

By Anonymous - 21/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, we drove for four days across states. My dad refused to let us go into the amusement park or check into the hotel we'd traveled for. The park is now cashless and he swears that it’s a government conspiracy to monitor and control us. He made us sleep in the car before going home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 66

Dinner time

By JJ84 - 31/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 111

Alexa, play "Just Like Christmas" by Low

By Anonymous - 17/12/2024 16:00 - North Macedonia

Today, I put Christmas wrapping on old books and things I already own, because I realized that it's the only way I'll have anything under the tree this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 112

Puppy love

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I gave my crush my number in a note that said "Read in private." Not only did she read it in front of her friends, she also laughed at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 233

And then it hit me

By Anonymous - 06/05/2024 00:00 - Russia - Moscow

Today, there's a company I want to get a job at, and I've worked for a long time to get in. However, I realized that in the test task I'd been doing for almost a month, there was a small mistake in my calculations that makes all my results false. And, of course, I'd already sent this task to HR two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 173

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 434

Daily grind

By well fuck - 17/06/2026 22:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 108

Geyser Söze

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 2 100

Let down

By Boring - 13/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I asked my friends what they thought was my biggest problem. All of them responded, "You're boring." I don't deny it, and I certainly did ask, but… Ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 249

Those pesky little *****

By Anonymous - 28/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was stung by a red wasp. While my husband heroically killed it, I, the person terrified of wasps after being swarmed as a child, collapsed, sobbed, screamed, and almost vomited from sheer terror. Give me snakes, spiders, insects galore and I am fine. Single flying asshole of doom and I turn into a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 185

I can't catch a break

By Alex - 12/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend, who I thought was finally out of my life for good, is now dating my new manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 71

Booby trapped

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 03:00

Today, my girlfriend’s dad is a doomsday prepper, but not an in-your-face type, he’s a nice guy. He let us borrow his forest cabin for a holiday but unfortunately I spent the first 10 minutes of the holiday upside down in one of his net traps while she phoned him, asking how to get me down safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 101

The chills

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, despite living healthy and being only 40, I have such pathologically cold feet that I can only ever be comfortable while either having them on a hot water bottle or taking a vigorous walk. Everything else feels about as cosy as standing in ice water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 86

The art, the artist

By WarriorMa - 16/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 208

By Slash - 16/06/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I sprained my wrist playing Guitar Hero. The ER doctor called all of his coworkers in to hear my story. They all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 106

Legalize it

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 22:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 515

Respect the warranty

By Anonymous - 22/04/2026 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, our brand new dryer that we scripted and saved for because we're tired of dealing with broken stuff is once again still broken. The store that sold it to us keeps canceling on us instead of coming and fixing it like the warranty says they should. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 70

Toxic

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, thanks to grandparent rights, I have to allow my toxic mother, who forced me into beauty pageants when I was a kid, to visit my kids. I hate her so much but I don't have a choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 71

What did they say?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to find out why I still haven't gotten my refund for when the ATM gave me a cash dispenser error and cancelled the transaction, but the money was taken out of the account anyway. The error happened on Friday of last week, it's Wednesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 92

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The Top

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 155

You deserved it 7 392

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 899

You deserved it 3 457

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 168

Today, I found out my Chemistry professor failed me on purpose, all because she’s still salty about me dating her ex-husband. This was well over a year ago. You’d think someone with a PhD would be mature enough to move on and stop being a bitter bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 1 359

Today, after an argument, my wife goes out to cook her curly fries in our airfryer. The thing beeps after 15 minutes; my wife goes out and announces, "Oh that's great." "What's up babes?" says I. "I put the fries in the wrong compartment. It's all your fault, you wound me up earlier." she says. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 132

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is still liking other semi-naked girls at Instagram, even though I'd told him a month ago that it makes me feel insecure. It's time to say goodbye to him; I can't find a man with integrity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 322