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The all-time greatest FMLs

Oh well, you tried

By Perthgal96 - 15/11/2023 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I got my pendulum board and I was asking it questions when my mum asked me to ask it if her and 'Jose' will be together. The same person/catfish who scammed 7 thousand dollars from her. She didn't believe me when the board said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 140

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 00:00

Today, I learned that the girl who severely bullied me in highschool for being a lesbian just came out as a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 82

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband kicked me out because I told him I'm having an abortion. He just doesn't understand that with the way our country is right now, and how bad the economy is, it's just not a good idea to have kids at the present time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 660

Menace to society

By Uri - 20/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 119

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 02:00 - United States - Little River

Today, my long-term partner and I decided we still love each other and want to try to salvage our relationship. Also today, a long-lost crush reconnected with me out of nowhere. The chemistry between us is insane and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe it's a sign? FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 1 299

It's teamwork

By Anonymous - 08/07/2026 15:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I'm home, taking care of my kids and keeping the house in order, so that my working wife is able to relax but she doesn't appreciate me at all and hates that I'm not like her best friend's wealthy husband, even though I do my best, and really wish I could be the breadwinner in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 111

Snap

By Lost Reggie - 15/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Vilonia

Today, I was at work, eating coleslaw of all things, and my tooth broke in half. Diagonally. The bottom half fell out into my coleslaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 78

Contracted

By Anonymous - 24/11/2024 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I finally got an offer for a salaried position with the company I've been working for as a contractor for the past two years. They offered less than what I make now, but hey, benefits! FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 125

Many such cases!

By Tired son - 30/12/2025 15:00

Today, my parents won’t shop at stores they think are "woke" anymore. Now they drive 35 minutes extra to a different grocery store, complain about gas the whole way, and pay double for basics. Somehow this is still the previous government’s fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 120

Liar liar

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 18:00

Today, after many hours of practice, I tried to demonstrate my magic tricks to my friends. What wasn't part of the show was accidentally setting my pants on fire and having to put it out with a glass of red wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 635

Masterchef 2020

By Reggie - 28/10/2020 19:58 - United States - Tahlequah

Today, I went to make chilli and instead of just using 3 cups of water like the recipe called for, I ended up using 3 quarts somehow. Now I have a pot of hot and spicy meat water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 1 337

My mum is weird

By Anonymous - 03/11/2023 16:00

Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 126

He's got game

By Anonymous - 07/03/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I caught my son sneaking a woman out of his room at 5 a.m. After she was gone, I started with the questions, one of which was, “Well, what’s her name?” His response was, “No idea, I only met her last week.” I’ve raised one of “those guys.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 225

By Heather - 31/05/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 88

Rough patch

By Jeff - 04/05/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, I was giving a speech at my best friend’s wedding. Mid-speech, I felt something was off. I looked down and realized I had a huge stain on my trousers. Not just a small stain, but a whole wet patch from crotch to knee. I had to finish the speech with one hand covering it. I later sniffed it, it was only champagne, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 151

Small world

By Frankie says relax - 06/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was at the grocery store when I bumped into my ex. Trying to be polite, I asked how she was doing, only for her to reply, "Great, thanks! I'm actually getting married next month." Meanwhile, I was standing there in a Garfield t-shirt clutching a carton of Ben & Jerry's and a bottle of cheap wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 244

Nice try, Susan

By Anonymous - 08/11/2024 00:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my estranged wife threatened to slit her wrist with a razor blade if I did not send her $50,000. She sent me a picture of her pressing a Gillette Safety razor to her wrist. It looked like she was getting ready to shave her perpetually hairy arms. She never was the sharpest knife in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 89

Tasty treat

By Heather - 09/05/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 81

Brain fog

By Anonymous - 16/08/2024 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I walked out of the grocery store, loaded my bags into my car, then sat in the driver’s seat. I tried to start the engine, but the key wouldn’t turn. That’s when I noticed the child’s seat in the back, which I don’t have. I was in the wrong car, and the owner was standing outside, laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 210

'Tis always the way

By Christine - 09/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Gary

Today, I found out that my manager has been stealing my ideas. The worst part? He made me work overtime to complete the project that I originally proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 78

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 144

Kinda unkind

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got broken up with over text/phone after dating for 3 months (I thought he was the one), all because his parents want him to marry "his own kind." He told me because of that there was no future and he would just be wasting my time. It's a stupid reason, and he's a coward. Here I am crying over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 195

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 03:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 151

Windfall

By Jimmy - 12/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I went to a casino with $300 to spend and somehow walked out with $21K. When I told my wife, she sighed and moaned about how annoying taxes will be, and how I should have pushed my luck further. The house always wins, even when it loses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 70

Busted

By YoMamma68 - 31/03/2022 04:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me a screenshot of a bathing suit on a store’s website and asked for my opinion. I told her it wouldn’t look good. She then texted me a screenshot of me liking a picture of a friend on Facebook, wearing that same bathing suit, saying, “But on her it looks fine, right?” Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 3 612

Cats pick sides

By Anonymous - 18/02/2025 03:00

Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 193

Sweetie

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my youngest daughter was going through separation anxiety when I dropped her off at school. After ten minutes of me comforting her, the teacher said, "C'mon, you have to let Nan go now so you can join in with the class." Ummm, I'm her mum, not her grandparent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 130

Not a morning person

By Anonymous - 31/01/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 289

Romance is dead

By Mom - 08/11/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 204

Always prepared

By Johnny Scizz - 20/11/2024 12:00 - United States - Bothell

Today, I went to test start my generator because there is a big wind storm coming in (a bomb cyclone according to the news). As I was pull-starting the generator, the rope broke. OK. Went to Home Depot to get a new rope and installed it. I broke the spring assembly installing the rope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 84

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The Top

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 787

You deserved it 5 810

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 183

You deserved it 2 526

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 978

You deserved it 5 159

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 966

You deserved it 2 754

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 843

You deserved it 4 965

Today, my 63-year-old neighbor jumped out of his window. I was the first to find him, alive, naked and stuck in a bush. I guess I shouldn't have laughed at him while waiting for the ambulance, because he turned out to be my landlord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 403

You deserved it 24 164