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Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19736) - you deserved it (3850)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

#20052545
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19734) - you deserved it (3539)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by merissa22 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my dad for advice. I recently got drunk and had a one-night stand. I feel terrible, because I'm engaged to a wonderful lady. My dad just said, "You did the right thing, son, keep it up. She's gonna steal half ya shit in the divorce anyway". FML

#21299758
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (29342)

On 11/15/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

#7142367
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (3343)

On 01/04/2010 at 6:30am - intimacy - by sore - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (6115)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (3367)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

#20044019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (9049)

On 08/27/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19733) - you deserved it (5380)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

#691341
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (88466)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:08pm - animals - by trainE - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19726) - you deserved it (1831)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I said something in class and someone mimicked me. In a self-pitying mood, I exclaimed, "Everybody hates me!" The girl behind me then said, "Pretty much." FML

#4676323
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19727) - you deserved it (43665)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by guitar_chick7 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (3305)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (2135)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)



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