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Today, my husband told me to hold out my hand. He opened his, and in mine dropped a giant mutant tooth he had pulled a few months ago. FML

#8332517
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (2349)

On 02/16/2010 at 6:51am - misc - by fmlpgh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (3993)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

#7364490
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20307) - you deserved it (2233)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl walked up to me at Target and asked me what my name was. I smiled and told her my name was Kristen. She looked at the skirt I was wearing and said, "Kristen, can you wear pants tomorrow?" FML

#19737543
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20305) - you deserved it (5933)

On 06/05/2012 at 7:56am - work - by whattdafuuukkkk (woman) - United States

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

#18638561
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (3860)

On 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told I need two root canals. This is because my previous dentist did such a bad job on one of my teeth that the decay went through and transferred to its neighbor. FML

#19622172
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (1898)

On 05/14/2012 at 1:55pm - health - by GrinningCynic - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

#19880614
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20297) - you deserved it (12646)

On 07/02/2012 at 11:45am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the military base to save $10 on a haircut. On the way out the gate, the glare of the sun blocked my view of a star barrier. Instead of saving $10 on a haircut I now owe a $500 deductible to fix my car. FML

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

#20031596
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (5354)

On 08/20/2012 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I lent my brand new earrings to one of my friends. Everyone told her that they are pretty, and look really great on her. I've been wearing them for the last 3 weeks, and no one has ever mentioned them. FML

#713
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (1978)

On 01/05/2009 at 10:27pm - misc - by sel2207 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking with a friend after buying two cups of steaming hot coffee. While crossing the busiest street in town I tripped and fell, spilling the coffee all over me. My friend didn't notice I fell right in front of her and tripped over me spilling her coffee on me as well. FML

#8528184
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (2337)

On 02/21/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by burnnnnn (woman) - Ecuador (Azuay)

Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML

#20005831
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (1356)

On 08/06/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by 44magnumtime (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (2537)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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