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Today, I fell asleep after finishing my exam. I had a dream I was falling and woke up smashing my face on the desk. Everyone laughed. FML

by M_Kclift1994 / 01/20/2010 at 6:19pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

by anonymous neighbor / 01/30/2009 at 9:42am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, after a week of sporting what I thought was a flattering pixie cut, I realised that without my long hair, my body shape closely resembles a snowman's. FML

by Karin / 08/13/2011 at 4:29pm / Germany (Berlin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I let my little sister sleep in my room because she had a nightmare. She is currently snoring like an overweight 40 year old man with a cold. FML

by sleepless / 02/18/2012 at 5:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

by ellieowenie / 07/29/2012 at 4:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

by CaptainFluffyPaw / 06/28/2015 at 9:59pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

by poisonhand / 01/14/2009 at 10:32am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I found out that my art project, the one I've been working on for the last two weeks and the first piece I felt really comfortable about turning in, was stolen out of the art cupboard. FML

by anonymous / 03/11/2010 at 2:55pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML

by lolcat97 / 01/28/2015 at 5:35pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, when I logged onto facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

by lmiller / 01/23/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I pulled a girl out of the way of a car. She yelled at me because I made her drop her phone, which then got run over. FML

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

by mack / 10/25/2009 at 4:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the best cure for constipation is having my brother scare the literal shit out of me, in Walmart. FML

by crazyk2468 / 04/26/2012 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Health