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Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with "Hah, just kidding. You're fuckin' BORING!" FML

#21457207
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23127) - you deserved it (1937)

On 08/17/2015 at 3:20pm - love - by ThroatSlasher (woman) - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I came home sick. After a while I received a text message. I thought it was a sweet 'how are you baby?' from my boyfriend. It wasn't. He sent: 'Hey, I'm going to work now. Please do not disturb. Thank you!' FML

#13861090
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23126) - you deserved it (5505)

On 11/16/2010 at 1:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

#17948621
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (4490)

On 10/10/2011 at 12:13am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML

#21453243
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/07/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by DietWater - United States (California)

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

#19478147
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/16/2012 at 11:52am - health - by fhe - Puerto Rico

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (8610)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my boyfriend to go to the airport with me, to see me off for my three-month stay abroad. He said no because the two-hour drive is "too boring". FML

#21446439
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23111) - you deserved it (2280)

On 07/24/2015 at 7:58am - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I woke up and my boyfriend was already awake. Feeling in the mood I slipped off my nightdress and looked him in the eye. He looked me up and down, smiled seductively, reached over... and turned his PS3 on. FML

#6707808
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (3996)

On 12/11/2009 at 11:44am - intimacy - by ps3isbetterthanme (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was told to shovel four inches of snow from my driveway. I had to get the snow shovel from the rafters of my garage, and there were other tools with it. As I was yanking the shovel down, a pickax fell and smashed through the back window of my dad's Buick. FML

#7016410
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (5257)

On 12/29/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by Charlie8u347 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced." and took a rain check on me. FML

#21447515
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (2463)

On 07/26/2015 at 1:29pm - misc - by arch maester shavayalsharashion (man) - United Kingdom (Kingston upon Thames)

Today, there was a mandatory staff-wide "cleaning party" for a corporate inspection. I was assigned the outside bar which is infested with full-grown roaches with wings. FML

#19482004
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2044)

On 04/17/2012 at 12:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

#20031154
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (2456)

On 08/20/2012 at 1:00am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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