Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after spending two weeks renovating my room and $1000 on paint and a new floor, my landlord told me that he's sold the house. Also, he was kind enough to inform me that unless I paint the walls back to white, I won't be getting my $500 deposit back. FML

#13850777
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (17571)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:06am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (9019)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

#19966337
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2222)

On 07/21/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by AussieG75 - United States (Florida)

Today, the man I went on a date with a few weeks ago finally called me back. I was his "one phone call" from prison. FML

#19980162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22019) - you deserved it (2095)

On 07/23/2012 at 7:06pm - love - by Rose (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (2776)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#19691716
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (2171)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I was planning to start my fitness regime and lose weight, using the bike that had been lying unused in my garden for the past six months. Tonight, the bike was stolen from my garden. FML

#18802834
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (5700)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:51am - misc - by baby shak - United States

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

#17545368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22012) - you deserved it (3009)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:44am - misc - by No Action Fighter - United States (California)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (4776)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts. Upon waking up after my first time using it, I forgot I was wearing it and thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed and split my head open on my bedside table. FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (11728)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (63534)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (3850)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

#19990004
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (3287)

On 07/29/2012 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous - Denmark (Sjelland)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: