Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in...

By Jack

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

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Intimacy

Family matters

Social distancing gone wrong

KoBabe

By hlewrn - United States - Centreville

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML

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By anonymous - Australia - Mittagong

Today, I had to give a speech as part of my campaign for school captain. I was rather happy with it and so I told another candidate my speech. Apparently it was a good idea as minutes later that same candidate stole my entire speech, leaving me looking like a complete idiot. FML

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By B-Rad - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out I share a birthday with a fictional character who is "untrustworthy" and has a "dark side", so therefore I can't be trusted either. FML

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By steven - Cayman Islands

Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML

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By jonas_93 - Canada

Today, I went to a club with a couple of my friends. I met a really cute guy and we were getting along pretty well. We eventually exchanged numbers. Later on I decided to call him and set up a date. The number he gave me was the Rejection Hotline number. FML

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By Ophelia - United States - Hudson

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

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By marriageblows - United States

Today, I had the day off from work. I did all the chores hoping to free up time to spend with my husband tonight. When he came home, he looked around and decided that since there was no need for him to stick around and help clean, he'd head to the bar to watch the game with the guys. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

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By doomed - United States

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

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By sugar baby24

Today, my boyfriend and my sugar daddy found about each other. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Alfreton

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. Last week, she wrote sweet things like "Love you forever" and "Light of my life" on my arm cast. I have to wait two more weeks until it's taken off. FML

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By thefrightening1 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

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By mpetitto - United States - Fairmont

Today, I received an "I miss you" text from my ex of 4 months, who I still love dearly and would give anything to get back together with. Yesterday, I slept with his best friend, convinced I'd never hear from my ex again. FML

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By oralMistake - United States

Today, I failed an oral speech because "I didn't look up once." The problem was, every time I looked up, my teacher looked down. Every time I looked down, she looked up. FML

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By thatguy - United States

Today, I learned that girls don't like it when you pass out from carrying them to the bed. What they DO like, is telling all their friends. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my son followed me around like a shadow, chanting, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom…" to the tune of Jingle Bells. It's March. FML

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By creepedoutmom - United States - San Francisco

Today, I took my family to Disneyland. My husband had more fun than my five year old daughter. He was hitting on the princesses. FML

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By pottie69 - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

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29573

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By Caqtusmonkey - United States - Arlington

Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML

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By Kiki - United States - Littleton

Today, I found out that my roommate of 4 years is sleeping with my ex of 7 years. Yesterday, she showed up to court as a witness for him and lied on the stand to try to get the protection order dropped. She's on the lease, so I have to live with this snake for 2 more months. FML

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By ragingwaffles - United States - Chico

Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML

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By fedUPwithPEOPLE - United States - Enterprise

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

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By UsuallyaUnicornbread - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, it was the first day after my promotion. Everyone, including myself, was shocked that I was promoted so quickly. I figured it was because of all the hard work and overtime I'd put in. However, my coworkers figure I'm just sleeping with the boss, and constantly glare and snicker behind my back. FML

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By LunaCrow - United States - Shakopee

Today, I had a friend tell me all about how being a vegan was so great. They were eating eggs. FML

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By tramrider - United Kingdom

Say cheese!

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in, I heard a noise. Thinking it was the tram, I decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like a giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle-aged man taking photos of me. FML

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By letdown - 19/7/2020 14:01

Great timing

Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML

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By do your own ironing

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3am, screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

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By JohnyP - United States

Today, after having my car been broken into the day before because I didn't lock it, I made sure I locked my doors. When I got off shift and entered the parking lot, I noticed a brick had been thrown through my windshield and a note that said, "Nice Try". FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally decided to get a dog. I have always been wanting to get one ever since I was a child. I bought a $1,400 Golden Retriever. I went out for lunch a few hours later with a friend, so I left my dog in the backyard. I came back home to a broken fence and no dog. FML

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By piercingfreak - New Zealand

Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML

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By suspiciouspeople - United States

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

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By terrified - United States - Forest City

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

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By ouagadougou - United States

Today, I rolled over a curb and bent one of the signs that read "Please Park Here After Your Road Test," at the DMV, because my foot slipped off the brake just before I put the car in park, which would've ended my Test. The first words out of the examiner's mouth were, "Well you would've passed." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

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19771

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By Anonymous - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

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By Blackfell - United States

Today, I found out why I can't sleep at night. My wife switched my sleep aid pills with energy pills. FML

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By Matt L - 21/8/2020 14:07 - United States - Staten Island

Bad day

Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML

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By radioactiveglowinthedarkthing - United Kingdom

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

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By catt - Germany - Berlin

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

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Top comments

By Trace01m | 11

#1773702 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

that guy planned it

By Lifeisntfair13 | 0

#1773700 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

so did your coworker like frame you?

COMMENTS

By Lifeisntfair13 | 0

#1773700 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

so did your coworker like frame you?

Doortje | 28

#1773740 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:09

Yes, he like did.

TheRealFamilyGuy | 5

#1774019 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 17:03

I love that game! What's his/your high score?

imcutefml | 0

#1774142 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 17:25

lol^

xXDubbleChic | 11

#1774209 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 17:48

#1 I'm going to steal it dog!!!!

zkchild | 0

#1774359 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 19:25

Sounds like something New Grounds would have lol

Zya_fml | 8

#1777530 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 8:24

26 - you're obviously a wannabe and that's obviously not your picture...

pwincessa23 | 1

#1778196 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 11:15

48, neither is yours...

pwincessa23 | 1

#1778204 - Wednesday 1 December 2010 11:16

I meant 47*

damian25 | 0

#1781775 - Thursday 2 December 2010 5:10

even if you right how can you tell?

fakeaccountX | 6

#1898916 - Tuesday 28 December 2011 1:53

What's a "cubical"?

puppytaco64 | 8

#3318279 - Tuesday 20 September 2011 22:17

#62 FACE PALM....

mlwalker88 | 18

#4415810 - Thursday 10 May 2012 7:14

It's "cubicle"...I should know, I spend 9 hours a day in one M-F.

SomeRussianGirl | 3

#4442967 - Wednesday 16 May 2012 18:08

49 Ur hot…

By Trace01m | 11

#1773702 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

that guy planned it

By Hermoine | 3

#1773706 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

sucks

By jackalope069 | 0

#1773708 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:05

haha why didn't you tell your boss?

By TwoFootedMan | 0

#1773727 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:08

ha I like this one :)

By xVictoriaDreamz | 0

#1773749 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:10

I would have laughed too, Fail(:

By BDTM | 0

#1773779 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:13

did you play it? ;)

By perdix | 29

#1773803 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:16

I hope in exchange the other guy can teach you to spell "cubicle."

Was the boss laughing over how much he's going to enjoy firing your ass?

jchatrini | 0

#1773844 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:22

dude ur mean ... shhh

zoraman5 | 3

#1774202 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 17:44

10 Win :3

AquanTheDragon | 5

#5913851 - Monday 14 April 2014 2:30

You must be unfamiliar with the immortal and divine being known as Perdix, #12.

By The_Creeper_fml | 8

#1773823 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:17

Shoulda said that it was in his "official work business of hard work" file.

By rhm2084 | 1

#1773864 - Tuesday 30 November 2010 16:26

send me that game pls :P