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Simping

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 11:29 - India - Bangalore

Today, my girlfriend moved to Germany for her Master's degree and perhaps a PhD. I'm still stuck in this third world mess which we call India. I simped for her and agreed that she can have non-serious relationships with other men. I'm so broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 1 242

Bye bye baby

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 14:00

Today, it's been a week since my mom left me at my auntie's, she just called to tell me she took a job abroad. I think I’m an abandoned orphan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 94

The enforcer

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 16:00

Today my auntie who helps run a HOA sent me out on a quick errand to deliver some fines. Now I know why she didn’t want to go herself. Several fines were for one guy, one very large angry guy, who let his dog trap me in the garden while he yelled at me for 5 whole minutes until I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 217

Valid argument

By Anonymous - 27/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé actually tried to skip my mum’s birthday by claiming the cat was asleep on him, and he didn’t want to move, then he yelled at me when I moved the cat for him. Guess he forgot it’s a surprise party and we’re the ones supposed to be driving my mum there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 133

Get it?

By Jessica - 08/07/2011 00:58 - Australia

Today, I met my boyfriend's sophisticated grandparents. I politely introduced myself. The first words to come out of his granny's mouth were, "If something happens to him, you won't get a f*cking cent of the insurance money, you hear?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 717

You deserved it 3 154

Time for the dentist

By Ethan - 07/04/2021 20:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got home to my son holding his brother down with one foot on his chest and both hands on a pair of pliers, trying to pull out his infected tooth, looking like some sort of redneck, hillbilly comedy sketch. I half expected to hear sound effects in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 216

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 18:00

Today, I got slapped by a date because she thought I was making fun of her speech impediment. I wasn't making fun, I just have the same speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 123

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 550

You deserved it 7 407

A bit of a Karen

By Anonymous - 18/09/2023 18:02 - United States - Yonkers

Today, my wife, who has been unemployed for over two years, had a $415k job offer rescinded, all because the hiring manager thinks she might be a Karen (Yes, she is). My job contract ended last month, so we have no income. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 214

I'll do anything

By Lili - 06/03/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I texted my best friend, “Good luck with your date tonight! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” She replied, "Thanks! I’ll try not to, but to be honest, that’s not saying much." I meant it as a joke, but she had no idea what I meant. It seems that I accidentally implied I’m a bad influence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 395

What's up with your nose?

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother and his girlfriend got married. I got a pretty bad pimple on my nose not long before, and I'd tried to pop it. It turned into a really bad scab instead, so I put makeup on it. I didn't notice until after the wedding that the makeup made the scab look badly infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 200

Awkward pause

By MothmanKirbaby - 10/04/2021 14:00

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 160

By Anonymous - 15/04/2013 16:02 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 201

You deserved it 4 724

Big Baby

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 00:30

Today, I flushed the toilet while my boyfriend was showering. He responded by throwing a huge fit, saying how if he “gets a cold” from being “forced” to shower in cold water, I’m gonna “have to stay home and take care of him until he’s better.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 318

Not for everyone

By Anonymous - 25/06/2022 10:00

Today, and ever since I gave birth to my son, I’ve hated being a mom. I held him, waiting for the rush of love my mom told me I’d feel and… nothing, I was completely emotionless about holding my newborn son and it’s gotten worse. I really hate being a mom, and my husband just does not understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 307

You deserved it 333

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 15:00 - United States - Conway

Today, my mom broke it off with her online boyfriend. That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact he's in the military, knows our address, and apparently is threatening to kill himself if she doesn't take him back. She tells me not to worry cause we have guns in the house, but I still don't feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 155

Corruption, corruption everywhere

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Czechia

Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 91

By Megannn - 01/05/2012 23:43 - United States

Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 934

You deserved it 3 710

Policy of truth

By Searsguy - 19/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 2 865

Rock on!

By Anonymous - 17/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I took a selfie at a concert with the stage in the background. As I tilted my head to get the perfect angle, I knocked over the guy in front of me’s beer. He turned around just in time to see me dripping in weak piss beer, and my selfie became a snapshot of my humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 603

By misty - 28/06/2011 16:14 - Canada

Today, after checking in and waiting for three hours to see the doctor, the receptionist said she forgot about me because she didn't see me. She asked me to come back tomorrow. I was sitting right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 182

You deserved it 4 213

Where am I?

By rmo1776 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140

You deserved it 49 430

Eat to the beat

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Winchester

Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 709

You deserved it 3 511

Drunk with power

By Anonymous - 29/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 102

By WearingSomethingStringy - 10/04/2013 00:02 - United States - Cranston

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 193

You deserved it 12 106

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 16:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around when he accidentally elbowed me in the eye and I couldn't see. He rolled over, turned on the football game, and told me to just walk upstairs and get ice. He also added that he would like a coke while I am up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 5 306

Letting yourself go

By Anonymous - 13/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband is becoming more uncivilised the older he gets, as I had to remind him to put trousers on while we have guests in the house, and over dinner he was picking his belly button at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 145

Hangry

By Anonymous - 24/03/2025 19:00 - Canada

Today, McDonald's screwed up my order 3 whole times. GIVE ME MY NUGGETS PLEASE. HOW CAN SOMEONE MAGICALLY FORGET 40 NUGGETS? FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 165

Lav agent

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was assigned to empty the lavatory tank on an airplane. I haven't done this since February, when the contents ended up all over me. I thought to myself, "It can't happen again, can it?" I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 217

By Anonymous - 13/05/2014 19:23 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, everyone at the office was finally presented with the bonuses our boss had promised to pay us by the end of last year. Turns out he was never authorized to promise any such thing, so he ended up just giving us signed "thank you" letters instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 932

You deserved it 3 425

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 5 530

Today, my crush won the bet that I made with him yesterday. The bet? That he couldn't land a date by the end of the day. Not only am I down $10, but a possible boyfriend too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 953

You deserved it 4 886

Today, my father is incapable of doing anything without cursing and swearing so loudly that the neighbours hear him. If I ask him what’s wrong or to stop swearing at inanimate objects, he starts yelling at me for "jumping all over him." I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 163

Today, my hubby asked me what we were doing for dinner. He'd already asked me twice and each time I responded, he said, "Sounds good." He has no idea why I feel like he doesn't listen to me. He's been doing this shit for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 555

You deserved it 353

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, all because I don't text her throughout the day. Last week she told me she would get fired if she was caught reading texts at work, and to stop texting her during her work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 102

Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 142

You deserved it 59 743