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Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 223

By dana - 16/12/2013 22:43 - United States - Montrose

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 348

You deserved it 11 913

Kittens are everything

By Squanto - 16/08/2021 16:01

Today, I realized that since moving in with my boyfriend and adopting two kittens, I feel more alone than ever. He cuddles the kittens more than me, he doesn’t want to hang out with me at home anymore. Is this normal? FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 198

Blast from the past

By Anonymous - 16/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm forbidden from hanging out with one of my friends. This happened after she was with us in a parking lot, and one of mom's smartass coworkers blasted his horn at us from a parked car to jolt us. My friend had a screaming breakdown; she has PTSD from losing her dad and sister in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 170

Foreshadowing

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 20:01

Today, my husband wouldn’t touch or even look at our newborn daughter until she’d had all the birth slime cleaned off her, then he held her for like 5 seconds before giving her back, saying he could still smell the slime and vomited all over a nurse. This does not bode well for nappy changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 244

It's not me, it's you

By LoserSingleDude - 09/11/2022 12:00

Today, I found out about of my ex, who I was with for 6 years, getting married. Normally I wouldn’t care, except she rejected my marriage proposal just about a year ago, saying she wanted to “be single for a while and wasn’t ready.” I can’t help but think what does the other dude have that I don’t have that made her change her mind? FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 11/12/2013 22:25 - Luxembourg

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 361

You deserved it 3 251

Ouch

By beateneggs - 02/03/2010 19:57 - United States

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 455

You deserved it 3 434

By yerbuagalapagos wonder - 06/02/2009 21:50 - Ecuador

Today, I really had to use the airplane lavatory. After I'd finished, the flight attendants continuously sprayed air freshener for two minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 479

You deserved it 31 843

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 03/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, the doctor saw in my file that I was 39 and asked me straight away, “How many kids do you have?” Not IF I had kids, just how many. Sure, a woman's main purpose is to procreate. What else could she want from life? FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 475

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 137

Thanks for your input

By BFfail - 15/08/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed, because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 2 762

Time for an episode of Intervention

By Anonymous - 19/03/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Saint Ives

Today, my brother won't fucking stop playing Minecraft whilst on the phone, when we're chatting. All I hear is him playing Minecraft. Every time. He's in university, I'm not even there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 154

By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 854

You deserved it 4 142

By Dr. Jack - 04/02/2009 13:54 - United States

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 275

You deserved it 2 220

By Bajar - 18/12/2012 19:53 - Australia

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 368

You deserved it 4 053

Bajar tells us more.

Bajar 1

Wednesday 19 December 2012 7:01

Hey all, OP here. To clarify a few things: it was at the airport lounge, the mother and son had a double couch together and I had a single chair next to the son. The water bottle was disposable and on a clearly visible pocket in my backpack. I still have no idea what I did wrong.

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 13:19 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for an infection from where a cat bit me while I was sleeping. Where that cat came from and how it got into my bedroom I will never know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 025

You deserved it 3 240

By 751920 - 03/02/2009 08:49 - Canada

Today, I found out my girlfriend's password for okcupid is "i_love_mike". My name is not Mike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 136

You deserved it 3 341

Deception

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my roommate has been cheating me out of hundreds of dollars when I finally obtained records of the past year's electric bills, which are in her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 218

Mismanaged

By Anonymous - 30/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for following the rules at work. This is the third workplace where this has happened. Each time, when I provided the written document that showed the rules that I followed, I was told, "Well…" Don't make it a "rule" if it's really going to be a guideline with 50+ possible exceptions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 147

By koolkidx3 - 24/02/2010 21:28 - United States

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 351

You deserved it 3 076

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 006

You deserved it 8 234

Classic non-ironical Ironic

By Karen - 21/11/2022 18:00

Today, I had a shift at my job at a grocery store that was full of rude and impatient customers. Someone dropped a bottle of wine and it shattered next to me. I found a half-eaten packet of sushi behind some magazines. The scale on another register broke. "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette played on the store radio at the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 125

By Anon - 30/01/2009 11:39 - Canada

Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 7 447

Dungeons and Dragons time

By Anonymous - 28/11/2022 04:00 - Australia

Today, I was at work with my boyfriend. I was being playful and recounting something that had happened in my D&D session the night before. I imitated the roar from the dragon that the DM had done, and midway though, the postman walked in with a delivery. He walked back out without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 650

Rowdy

By FMyEx - 06/12/2012 11:50 - United States - Southington

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 637

You deserved it 4 895

Customer service

By Anonymous - 26/11/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I went to work during Black Friday, after not being invited to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 128

Mean Girls

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 02:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, my sister and I saw a guy with a terrible nose job coming up the bus. She said to me, "Look how ugly that guy is" in our native tongue. The man sat down right in front of us, took his phone out, and started talking our language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 2 009

Miseducation

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, the final for a class I'm in is taught by a decrepit old man who apparently has a flunk-out reputation. He spent the entire previous class making a study guide for the final exam, emphasizing, "THIS is on the exam. Know THIS." I studied it hard. Absolutely none of it was on the exam. Everyone failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 594

You deserved it 121

By VedaLynn - 03/12/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 054

You deserved it 2 696

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The Top

The Top

Today, I saw a woman being mugged. I ran up to help and pushed the guy off of her. She then punched me in the face and called the cops because she was, "just living out a fantasy" and I'm, "a lunatic for trying to help." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 824

You deserved it 2 142

Today, my mom asked my siblings and me for help cleaning the kitchen. After working for a half hour while all my siblings sat on the couch, I pointed out that I was the only one working. My mom thanked my siblings for not having attitudes like mine and sent me to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 473

You deserved it 3 213

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 744

You deserved it 3 935

Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 895

You deserved it 4 646

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend over Skype. I said I loved her and hoped we would be together forever. She responded by singing Who Wants to Live Forever into her mic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 962

You deserved it 4 203

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 467

You deserved it 5 066