Health, Embarrassing, Poopoo peepee and Restaurants: Panic! - FML

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 460

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 036

You deserved it 1 735

Leaked

By Morgan Bailey - 18/09/2018 14:00

Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 729

You deserved it 879

Denial

By Lady Bloodshart of the Redwater - 15/07/2016 20:27 - United States - Arlington

Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 685

You deserved it 1 018

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

You OK in there?

By stinkypants - 10/11/2011 03:15 - India

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 781

You deserved it 11 857

Bath bomb

By Anonymous - 31/05/2021 11:01

Today, I trusted a fart in the bathtub. I really shouldn't have. It came out loose like a brown cloud, so I had to shower to wash the shit out of my pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 934

By Anonymous - 17/07/2015 17:14 - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 572

You deserved it 4 359

Time to flee the crime scene

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 10:00

Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 823

Y'all need fiber.

By blondie875 - 26/05/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I had just gotten out of the shower when I thought I had to fart, so I ripped it. instead, I shat all over myself and my floor. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 509

You deserved it 1 372

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 2 057

Next

Top comments

Pink_Turnips 14

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:02

you definitely deserved that... you're in a restaurant, have some manners and take your nasty ass to the restroom

poopface82 18

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:45

YDI for trusting a fart and not getting a to-go box.

Comments

Pink_Turnips 14

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:02

you definitely deserved that... you're in a restaurant, have some manners and take your nasty ass to the restroom

poopface82 18

Sunday 31 December 2023 16:45

YDI for trusting a fart and not getting a to-go box.

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Monday 1 January 2024 1:29

Now I’m imagining someone ******** their pants and finishing their meal because they weren’t mortified enough.

jlc82 4

Monday 1 January 2024 7:16

imagine how everyone else felt not being able to finish their meals cause they had to smell your nasty ass.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out the person that I’ve been casually seeing has decided he wants to live with me. I found this out when I asked him to go home after two weeks sleeping over, and he told me he'd already moved out of his mom’s. I sublet a single bedroom and have barely enough room for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 147

Today, I put on some skimpy shorts and bent down to get something on the bottom shelf of the fridge to get my boyfriend's attention. On my way up, I slammed my head on the edge of the fridge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 938

You deserved it 46 016

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 023

You deserved it 4 720

Today, I found out that I’m the only guy in my family that's circumcised. When I asked my parents why they did it, they told me that they wanted me to be “different”. I have 3 older brothers and 5 older cousins. I finally get their helmet jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 525

You deserved it 397

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 160

You deserved it 2 909

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 4 966

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 312

You deserved it 2 774

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 2 057