Today, I was trying to scratch off an Xbox gift card. When I started, I heard knocking. I opened the door. No one was there. I went back to scratching the card. Knocking again. No one there. This repeated until the fifth time, when I realized it was my rocking the desk with the repetitive movement of my arm. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, I woke up early to weird scratching and smacking noises. After gathering enough courage to check what it was, I found out it was just an ant stuck on a piece of paper. FML
Today, I bought a $50 Nintendo eShop card to redeem on my Nintendo Switch. As I was scratching the grey area, I scratched too hard, making it hard to see what it was. I tried randomly guessing and asking for help. Neither helped. Guess who didn't get $50 back. FML
Today, I bought an iTunes giftcard worth $50. I tried to scratch off the little silver thing covering the code with a pair of scissors. I scratched so much that it's now unreadable. FML
Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML
Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML
Today, I thought I could try and fix the broken door handle on my bedroom door. After a series of unsuccessful attempts, I got stuck inside my room. The only person who knew? My roommate, who was too busy playing loud video games to help. FML
Today, the phone kept ringing so I picked it up and answered. When there was no response, it took a minute to realize that I was still in bed and talking to my hand. FML
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey OP, how do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later.
RichardPencil 32
If I had to grade this story, I'd give it a Cardy B.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
If I had to grade this story, I'd give it a Cardy B.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Hey OP, how do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later.