Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to... - FML

By kaytiebobaytie - 24/1/2010 18:30 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. We were driving to his hockey game and he was joking around about throwing my favorite hoodie out of his window. While swinging it around, my brand new iPhone flew out of the pocket and the window, getting run over by a car. FML

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Messed up

Dangling modifier

Season finale

By Pinkie - 6/8/2011 21:06 - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

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By The V Sal - 13/2/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML

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By blutownie13 - 9/4/2009 22:11 - United States

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/5/2019 18:00

Noise annoys

Today, my little brother got a violin. FML

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By Never Work With Animals or Children - 26/5/2012 11:06 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I ran out of the house after my dog, tripped and knocked myself out on the railing by the front step. I woke up to my little brother lifting up the back of my dress for the neighborhood to see. FML

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By Piano999 - 21/2/2010 07:41 - United States

Today, I lied to my crush telling him I can play the piano. To 'prove' it, I recorded a video on my phone of a girl playing a beautiful piece. After I sent it, I realized my mouse cursor was in the center of the page the entire time. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 16:26 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

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By Grandzilla - 9/9/2016 04:10 - France - Ablancourt

Today, I got a call from my panicking grandmother. I asked her what was going on, and she explained that, “Godzilla doesn’t work.” Not really understanding, I asked her to clarify. “Yes, you know, Godzilla, to use the internet.” FML

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom

Dodged a bullet

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her father looked me up and down, said, “No” then went back to his TV. My girlfriend immediately broke up with me and threw me out. I even had to get a really expensive taxi home, because we’d driven in her car and I had no idea what part of the city I was in. FML

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By sadmama - 23/2/2018 15:00

Today, I found out that while my mother-in-law claimed to be babysitting my son, she was actually dropping him off at an unlicensed “day care” in a shady part of town so she could go out. How did I find out? The house was raided by police. FML

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By bingalingading - 30/3/2015 20:46 - United States - Owosso

Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML

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By Guessmyproffhatesme - 13/12/2016 19:54

Today, in exams to become a funeral director, my full name was used as the example of the deceased in a few questions. Actually, 22 questions. FML

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By hatemyjob - 27/10/2009 04:04 - United States

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

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By Pierceew - 19/9/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

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By anonymous001 - 8/1/2013 19:58 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/1/2011 19:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

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By forgotmyownbirthday - 27/11/2009 14:26 - United States

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

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By JFC! - 31/3/2011 01:07 - United States

AAA, hello?

Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML

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By shook - 6/9/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

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By StupidJob - 1/9/2016 23:23 - United States - Batavia

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

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By NOOOOOO - 16/8/2015 23:18 - United States

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

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By busfail - 22/3/2012 18:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Parker

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

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By 352 - 18/4/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

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By Jack00412 - 8/7/2014 19:55 - United States - Montague

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

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By bumblebee - 14/9/2009 21:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/6/2019 05:15

Today, after feeling like I've been sucking as a friend and contacting a friend who has called me their best friend, but doesn't talk to me much, we grabbed a coffee. The whole time I was trying to have a conversation, she was on her phone. FML

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By it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - 12/4/2013 17:21 - United States - Roselle

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

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By Forever Alone - 14/6/2016 09:26

Today, I was talking to my mum about how I'd quite like to have kids someday. She responded: "Well, nowadays they let singles adopt as well, don't they?" FML

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By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

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By porcelainleigh - 23/11/2016 19:41 - United States

Today, I got engaged. I called my mom and told her. "You didn't say yes, did you?" she said. Afterwards, I told my dad. "Uh, Congratulations. But, I have questions." Thanks guys. FML

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By disconnected - 23/9/2014 20:19 - Brazil - Santa Maria

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

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By Lmop68 - 27/5/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

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By jhftrainer23 - 5/8/2011 14:42 - United States

Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML

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By gotthewrongman - 17/12/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

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By katara - 2/7/2010 23:53 - United States

Busted

Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML

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By TomorrowMaybe - 8/10/2016 16:29 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

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By Username - 16/12/2011 06:31 - Canada

Today, I hit a new low when I caught myself eating the chocolates that were meant to be part of my boyfriend's Christmas presents. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/4/2018 01:30

Today, my husband and I were getting busy on the living room couch when my mother-in-law stopped by and let herself in with a key we didn’t know she had. She then demanded an apology like it was all our fault and stormed out. I still don’t know why she came by. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2010 12:11 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend told me that if he was to break up with me, he would do it in a crowded location so I couldn't start to cry or make a scene. FML

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Top comments

By noPENGSinALASKA | 0

#796384 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:18

don't you mean ex-boyfriend?

By Rakshasa23 | 0

#796447 - Monday 25 January 2010 0:11

YDI for actually keeping something valuable, let alone anything at all, in a hoodie pocket. The only thing those pockets are good for is keeping your hands warm.

COMMENTS

By fudgnugget | 0

#796371 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:12

that really sux

Reply

PeopleRSoDumb | 0

#796410 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:37

Why would you have your window open in the middle of winter, in Mi? Fake or retarded.

Reply

nadsm | 0

#796424 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:45

uhm hello he was "joking around".. he probably opened the window just for the sake of holding her hoodie outside, not to feel the fresh, freezing air.

Reply

HiddenAce91 | 6

#796562 - Monday 25 January 2010 1:14

@12 Actually it's quite warm in some parts of Michigan today. I know I live there myself.

@OP YDI for keeping your iPhone in your sweatshirt pocket. All sweatshirt pockets are loose and anything can be stolen or fall out without notice.

Reply

pegasus77 | 0

#796577 - Monday 25 January 2010 1:20

You mean 15

Reply

HiddenAce91 | 6

#796909 - Monday 25 January 2010 4:05

No there was another post there about Michigan being freezing cold during the winter and I swear it was a #12. but I must have been wrong.

Reply

ilovechocochipz | 0

#920744 - Sunday 7 March 2010 6:26

u shoulda grabbed it from him

By ashiezorz | 2

#796376 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:13

LULZ.
Sorry. FYL.

By ruff1298 | 7

#796378 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:13

It's horrible to joke about anything, and your boyfriend did a dumb decision. To make up for this, he MUST pay. With a new iPhone. Possibly some more attention and begging, too. Good luck.

Reply

Tandrael | 0

#796409 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:36

agreed

By noPENGSinALASKA | 0

#796384 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:18

don't you mean ex-boyfriend?

Reply

Mustardnight | 3

#797111 - Monday 25 January 2010 6:15

Well im shocked all it akes you to break up with someone is a broken iPhone.

Reply

IRock123456789 | 0

#797686 - Monday 25 January 2010 13:33

fag

By chaos753159 | 4

#796385 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:21

YDI for having an iphone

Reply

poudycat | 0

#796526 - Monday 25 January 2010 0:58

YDI for being jealous of her iPhone.

Reply

chaos753159 | 4

#798498 - Monday 25 January 2010 23:38

i am jealous i wish i had one 

Reply

omgitsnikkie | 0

#799021 - Tuesday 26 January 2010 3:18

so does she lol

Reply

woosah | 16

#1580321 - Thursday 21 October 2010 8:08

lol... so you admit it eh?

Reply

jimmyandstuff | 0

#2087160 - Wednesday 16 February 2011 2:46

ha

By GiRIsMakingCupca | 0

#796390 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:24

wow I would have been pissed

By anela_fml | 0

#796392 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:26

some ones caughin up money and more

By betseyville | 6

#796401 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:28

YDI for having an iPhone.

Reply

T1A2Z3 | 34

#7629747 - Wednesday 2 May 2018 18:44

Agreed... Overpriced technology

By mrbutterz | 0

#796404 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:31

so when is he buying you a new one?

Reply

smitty809 | 0

#797825 - Monday 25 January 2010 15:07

totally agree

By jessxoxo28 | 5

#796413 - Sunday 24 January 2010 23:40

that means he gets u a brand new one