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By jennybrev - 13/07/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I awoke to find a water pipe burst. I frantically ran down to the basement to turn off the water to the house. What I didn't expect when I reached the bottom of the stairs was to have to start dodging the falling, wet ceiling tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 710

You deserved it 2 858

By zevil - 18/11/2008 16:54 - Peru

Today, I had a date with a girl. Wanting to make a good impression, I spend a lot of time getting ready and by the time I get to the place we were supposed to meet she isn't there anymore. I call her to see where she is. She's in bed with another guy and says "I was REALLY waiting for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 801

You deserved it 9 762

By Anon - 11/12/2014 18:13 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 720

You deserved it 8 210

By NateTheGreat132 - 20/10/2014 11:59 - United States - Whitehall

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 836

You deserved it 4 400

NateTheGreat132 tells us more.

NateTheGreat132 14

Tuesday 21 October 2014 0:37

I was wearing gloves. When you open up a new carving block, there's TONS of meaty juice inside of there that you have to drain out. Some of it got inside my gloves.

By Anonymous - 16/07/2013 04:41 - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 210

You deserved it 3 374

By Anonymous - 28/09/2014 16:42 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 147

You deserved it 37 014

By Anonymous - 08/11/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, I went through my spam folder. I found out that I'd received several emails telling me that I have been sending emails containing essays for a class of mine to the wrong address. The term ended yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 033

You deserved it 12 053

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 015

You deserved it 3 595

By egged - 08/07/2014 01:41 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I have a really high fever and my sister thought I was hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish, but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 343

You deserved it 3 653

By natalyV - 04/09/2015 15:58

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 073

You deserved it 3 270

By Busted - 21/10/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and things were getting pretty heated. Trying to be sexy, I told him that every time we touched was a guilty pleasure. He rolled off of me, and said "Oh, you're married too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 4 290

By cargaljen - 17/05/2014 21:34 - United States - Olathe

Today, a nice couple came in to buy a car. I offered to drive it out from the line of cars for them, since it was a tight squeeze. They then watched as I managed to back it straight into another car, causing a large amount of damage to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 944

You deserved it 22 123

By shylahrc - 03/05/2014 23:51 - United States

Today, my mom discovered a new way to get over her breakup: yodelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 193

You deserved it 3 538

Dogbowl

By NoOrdinaryNZer - 27/07/2015 09:25 - New Zealand - Rotorua

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 887

You deserved it 5 539

By AlwaysAwkward - 03/03/2014 02:30 - United States - Strongsville

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 401

You deserved it 9 051

By Noname - 26/02/2009 17:49 - United States

Today, I saw my ex-girlfriend across the street. I was walking with a girl whom I'd been hooking up with and wanted to make my ex-girlfriend jealous. I kissed her and she immediately smacked me. I got a "ha-ha" text message from my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 595

You deserved it 96 967

Bad karma

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 17:21 - United Kingdom - Aberystwyth

Today, after waiting two weeks for an email with my online textbook access code, it still hadn't arrived in time for my quiz tomorrow, so I ended up spending most of my money on the expensive physical copy. Not long after I got back home, the email finally arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 221

You deserved it 5 043

By tellyc - 26/04/2016 02:36 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, once again someone pointed out how much my brother and boyfriend look alike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 533

You deserved it 2 675

tellyc tells us more.

tellyc 27

Tuesday 26 April 2016 21:54

Hi guys! This is my FML. Basically whenever someone new meets my boyfriend or sees my brother they always comment how much they look alike. Recently every time I see my boyfriend from afar I think he's my brother so it freaks me out just a little bit. Glad to hear it's not really uncommon!

By Anonymous - 06/03/2015 16:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 861

You deserved it 2 347

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 950

You deserved it 4 015

By ameliaruth09 - 22/01/2015 22:36 - United States - Milford

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month-old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 920

You deserved it 5 140

By b5b0n36 - 06/03/2016 02:38 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I rubbed chilli powder on my fingers in an attempt to kick the habit of biting my nails. Ten minutes later I went to the bathroom. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 427

You deserved it 7 429

b5b0n36 tells us more.

b5b0n36 27

Monday 7 March 2016 1:35

hey, OP here. thanks for the suggestion! I will look into it cause chilli powder was a horrible disaster hahaha

By lovefool - 12/01/2011 10:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 722

You deserved it 2 847

By madisonnnnnn - 13/02/2016 01:38 - United States - Parker

Today, I found out my doctor misdiagnosed my kidney stones as constipation. Now, I'm shitting like crazy from the laxatives that he gave me, and I also have to pass a kidney stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 886

You deserved it 1 311

madisonnnnnn tells us more.

madisonnnnnn 9

Wednesday 24 February 2016 4:24

Hi OP here! Even though I had an x-Ray, the stones did not show up. Since the pain was abdominal and I hadn't pooped in a few days my doctor assumed it was constipation and gave me laxatives. However I am not constipated I did pass the horribly painful kidney stones.