Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, my neighbors in the apartment above me yet again had a loud fight, well past midnight while I was trying to sleep. I stood on my bed and pounded on the ceiling to shut them up. And now I'll have to explain the two fist-shaped holes in the ceiling to my landlord. FML
Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, I was lying in bed listening to my neighbors have loud, and what sounded like, enjoyable sex. My boyfriend rolled over and said, "she sounds like fun" before rolling back over and going to sleep. It's been four months. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
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Top comments
bkwusa 15
The older people get the less shame they have. If you want to resolve this it seems you will have to call your landlord or the police.
MidnaLink 35
"No, you assholes. It's so I can get some goddamn sleep. Keep it up and I'll file multiple noise complaints", is what you could say to them. As their immediate neighbour (sharing a bedroom wall no less), you have every right to a restful sleep.
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Comments (11)
bkwusa 15
The older people get the less shame they have. If you want to resolve this it seems you will have to call your landlord or the police.
RichardPencil 32
They're not wrong! Put in some earbuds and try not to think how his droopy balls are slapping her saggy ass on every thrust. Don't think of that, whatever you do.
MidnaLink 35
"No, you assholes. It's so I can get some goddamn sleep. Keep it up and I'll file multiple noise complaints", is what you could say to them. As their immediate neighbour (sharing a bedroom wall no less), you have every right to a restful sleep.
Yudith 28
If it doesn't work, I heard some guy cured his noisy neighbor problem by blasting a mix of Baby Shark, Southern preacher, Tombez les Serviettes from Patrick Sébastien and Cotton Eyed Joe on loop until they stopped. When they did it again, he put it back on his amped-up radio. There was no third time.
EmmaMK 35
Some people may be jealous but it’s no excuse not to keep the banging down.
bobsanction 18
Ask them if you can watch.
bloopaloop 27
The obvious solution is to ********** even louder when they do it.
Shzusuziq 16
Well, 60 year olds still have great sex! (Surprised?) and my 67 yo friend does not have droopy balls, (that happens closer to being in your 80’s), he’s an avid bike rider and in great shape !
MrsWTH 7
Oh sleep on the couch and let them ****! Hell their 60!!!