In my book, that is only slightly more mortifying than if your dad busted in on your make-out sesh and said "Hello." You were going to fuck a guy on a first date with your parents in the house? Very bold!

I'm so disappointed in hearing that this appears to be your first date and you were thinking you'd have sex right then and there?

Lock your door?

First rule of Fuck Club: Lock the door. Second rule of Fuck Club: Don't get it on while your parents are still conscious. Third rule of Fuck Club: Keep all drains unblocked. Fourth rule of Fuck Club: Use all kinds of protection you can get your hands on.

1. Why was your first thought to shave your pubes? Sure have a tidy up if you've let things go but don't go full barbie. 2. Be considerate if you share a bathroom and unblock said pubes from the drain you dirty mare. 3. I'm assuming as you didn't utilise a lock that you don't have one on your bedroom door (not everyone has internal locking doors guys) so why on earth did you take him home for a shag when your parents are home?!