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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    By ontherun2012 - 14/02/2012 04:22 - United States

    Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 060
    You deserved it 7 890
    Share  

    Downhill

    By loveinanelevator - 13/02/2012 12:03

    Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 38 721
    You deserved it 2 696
    Share  

    By Bonapp - 09/02/2012 22:11 - France

    Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 584
    You deserved it 9 859
    Share  

    Get back here!

    By oceangirl - 08/02/2012 00:14 - United States

    Today, I texted my flatmate to ask him when he would be paying his portion of the rent, since he has told me he would be late this month. He wrote back to inform me that he had moved out last night while I was away, and that he won't be paying me anything. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 225
    You deserved it 2 469
    Share  

    Thanks, asshat

    By LowerCrust - 30/01/2012 02:36 - United States

    Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 30 232
    You deserved it 2 088
    Share  

    By brokeandsingle - 29/01/2012 09:55 - United Kingdom

    Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 38 472
    You deserved it 3 201
    Share  

    By Shelly P. - 29/01/2012 00:10 - United States

    Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 564
    You deserved it 3 554
    Share  

    By INeedMoney - 28/01/2012 05:58 - United States

    Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 28 727
    You deserved it 5 035
    Share  

    By Wendizzle - 27/01/2012 05:35 - United States

    Today, I had to work late. I missed the last bus so I called a cab. That was 3 hours ago. I called my dad for a ride. That was 2 hours ago. I guess I'm sleeping under my desk tonight. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 016
    You deserved it 2 782
    Share  

    By suckstobefat - 22/01/2012 06:10 - Canada

    Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 788
    You deserved it 7 228
    Share  

    Driving school dropout

    By Rebecca - 16/01/2012 00:36 - Canada

    Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 8 650
    You deserved it 41 473
    Share  

    Menace 2 society

    By Anonymous - 14/01/2012 18:26 - United States

    Today, my future mother-in-law started shit-talking me on Facebook, and we got into a heated argument. She called me later in the day, saying I'll be lucky if I ever marry her son and that, "You'll suffer to your last breath." I'm now terrified to set foot outside. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 258
    You deserved it 6 044
    Share  

    Double standard

    By Anonymous - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

    Today, I spent five hours sobbing in my room due to antidepressant withdrawal. My mother refused to come and talk to me, because I'm "a terrible, hateful child who only cares about herself." Last week, I spent two hours comforting her because my brother hadn't called in a week. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 35 237
    You deserved it 3 701
    Share  

    By sick in Vegas - 07/01/2012 22:21 - United States

    Today, I'm in Vegas to celebrate my 22nd birthday. I should be out having a blast, but a stomach virus thought otherwise. I'll be spending my birthday stuck in my hotel room eating microwaved soup. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 496
    You deserved it 2 811
    Share  

    By Scarred4Life - 01/01/2012 06:18 - United States

    Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 793
    You deserved it 3 526
    Share  

    By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 18 460
    You deserved it 31 925
    Share  

    Oh, hi…

    By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 15:03 - United Kingdom

    Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 10 970
    You deserved it 31 247
    Share  

    By loveurlifejk - 28/12/2011 06:32 - United States

    Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 643
    You deserved it 2 137
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 21/12/2011 02:01 - United States

    Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 26 249
    You deserved it 5 868
    Share  

    By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

    Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 23 654
    You deserved it 17 385
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 17/12/2011 07:47

    Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 726
    You deserved it 3 898
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 22:02 - United States

    Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 243
    You deserved it 5 082
    Share  

    By testesential - 13/12/2011 17:24 - United States

    Today, I took my last final on a Scantron sheet with 200 multiple choice questions, with seconds to spare. When I finished the last question, I saw I had another bubble to fill in and I didn't know where I screwed up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 774
    You deserved it 6 147
    Share  

    By LogicalMolly - 13/12/2011 05:16 - United States

    Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 057
    You deserved it 49 336
    Share  

    By disappoint - 08/12/2011 09:14 - United States

    Today, my sister's boyfriend said the only thing he'd change about her was her last name. My boyfriend told me he'd change the shape of my nose. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 32 113
    You deserved it 3 786
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 18:11 - United States

    Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 230
    You deserved it 3 584
    Share  

    By Makala - 03/12/2011 08:15 - Egypt

    Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 12 192
    You deserved it 36 032
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 06:43 - United States

    Today, I found out that the gentle, adorable oral surgeon who took out my wisdom teeth last year was recently arrested for rape. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 195
    You deserved it 2 884
    Share  

    By Anonymous - 30/11/2011 02:09 - United States

    Today, I'm spending time with my granny, with whom I'm supposed to live with for a few weeks. I've noticed that she repeats the last word of every sentence I say, and now I'm wondering how it's possible for me to now be so horrible that I want to punch a sweet 92-year-old lady in the head. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 895
    You deserved it 5 662
    Share  

    Keep it down

    By Help - 26/11/2011 06:03 - United States

    Today, it's the second week into my new neighbors' routine. He works nights, she works days. He likes to blast out Slayer and Napalm Death all day, she likes to drunkenly sing out of tune to Adele all night. I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 31 778
    You deserved it 2 513
    Share  
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    Today, due to awkward circumstances, I am living with my ex-girlfriend and her new girlfriend. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 34 472
    You deserved it 3 956
    Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 50 896
    You deserved it 5 362
    Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 133 105
    You deserved it 6 577
    Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 967
    You deserved it 291
    Today, whilst in the break room at work, a girl I don’t know walked into the room. She gave me a look of utter disgust, then turned and walked back out of the room. I was so shocked, I burst out laughing. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 772
    You deserved it 100
    Today, after my boyfriend broke things off saying he couldn't handle being in a relationship after the death of his brother, I found out that he's back on Tinder not even three weeks after the break up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 394
    You deserved it 117
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