Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden...

By Mr_poole - 18/5/2013 20:06 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

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Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself....

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By wlddog | 14

#5497427 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:02

Well you see... First the house was attacked by pirates. Thankfully the mom managed to get her hands on the family wooden sword and defend their dwelling. But then they found out there was actually a spy in the house and it was a clone of the sister. Of course everyone knows that clones can only be defeated by getting put in the dryer, so dad was defeating the evil clone while mom defended against any future pirate attacks.

It was a good thing Op brought his girlfriend to his house for safety, because who knows which house the pirates would attack next!

By Jelbeztok | 17

#5497408 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:56

sounds like you have a very interesting family. what was their reason for this?

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By Jelbeztok | 17

#5497408 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:56

sounds like you have a very interesting family. what was their reason for this?

wlddog | 14

#5497427 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:02

Meettitan | 14

#5497505 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:45

I spiked the milk with bath salts.

BadApple88 | 29

#5497625 - Sunday 19 May 2013 4:52

I love this lol

ironichalibut | 24

#5497658 - Sunday 19 May 2013 5:48

Everyone knows a clone can only be defeated by the original after a lengthy symmetrical fight, in which the original learns to master their own weaknesses to defeat the clone.
The clone must have hid in the dryer, so they had to send her in after them

TourettesGuyFTW | 25

#5497866 - Sunday 19 May 2013 10:45

wlddog, your story brought a tear to my eye. Just beautiful. :')

By evilraider | 5

#5497409 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:56

So that means your gf doesn't have to try very hard to not be awkward or embarrassing. Your parents got that part covered

PrimeEvilTahir | 23

#5497585 - Sunday 19 May 2013 3:22

I wonder if it's the same family who argued about toilet paper and sensitive anus?

By SimplyAmazingx | 11

#5497410 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:57

Sounds like an awesome family to me!

OliveCx | 10

#5497636 - Sunday 19 May 2013 5:10

Sounds more like an MLIA, right? ^_^

By PimpdaddyCJT | 13

#5497413 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:58

Your family seems amazing!

By jipster | 11

#5497415 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:59

Why the hell would your father want to shove your sister in de dryer?

rg350dx | 29

#5497418 - Sunday 19 May 2013 0:59

To save money on towels.

Welshite | 39

#5497443 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:07

#6: That's what I do. Not only does it save money, but I don't have to worry about doing the laundry later.

RpiesSPIES | 27

#5497445 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:08

No, that would take more money than buying reuseable towels.

He did it because it's cheaper than taking her to a waterpark for the rotating tunnel experience.

VeganVampyre | 26

#5497509 - Sunday 19 May 2013 1:47

They were playing "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". The sister was the evil witch being shoved into the oven, and the mom had her crossbow ready to shoot any other witches who showed up to fight.