Well you see... First the house was attacked by pirates. Thankfully the mom managed to get her hands on the family wooden sword and defend their dwelling. But then they found out there was actually a spy in the house and it was a clone of the sister. Of course everyone knows that clones can only be defeated by getting put in the dryer, so dad was defeating the evil clone while mom defended against any future pirate attacks. It was a good thing Op brought his girlfriend to his house for safety, because who knows which house the pirates would attack next!

I spiked the milk with bath salts.

I love this lol

Everyone knows a clone can only be defeated by the original after a lengthy symmetrical fight, in which the original learns to master their own weaknesses to defeat the clone. The clone must have hid in the dryer, so they had to send her in after them

wlddog, your story brought a tear to my eye. Just beautiful. :')

I wonder if it's the same family who argued about toilet paper and sensitive anus?

Sounds more like an MLIA, right? ^_^

To save money on towels.

#6: That's what I do. Not only does it save money, but I don't have to worry about doing the laundry later.

No, that would take more money than buying reuseable towels. He did it because it's cheaper than taking her to a waterpark for the rotating tunnel experience.

They were playing "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters". The sister was the evil witch being shoved into the oven, and the mom had her crossbow ready to shoot any other witches who showed up to fight.

I'll double whatever Welshite offers!

That is the best pun iv heard all month

Yes

...no, maybe, perhaps.

The person you need is Nanny McPhee!