Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

by Noname / 02/15/2009 at 12:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

by NeverCampingAgain / 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

by MLS / 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in my driver's ed class, and I woke up in a middle of a dream laughing. Everyone stared at me. I found out that the teacher had just finished talking about his vegetative niece who didn't wear a seat belt. FML

by Biggest Jerk / 02/14/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two best friends decided to boycott Valentine's Day, ditching their boyfriends to hang out together. Not only am I single, but I wasn't invited. FML

by Noname / 02/14/2009 at 6:14pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

by faye / 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

by clementine8 / 02/14/2009 at 1:23am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

by crazycutie1027 / 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

by Yudansha / 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

by shit's weak / 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

by samrodpuertorico / 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

by shorty / 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous