Good question

By Anonymous - 02/10/2021 08:01

Spicy
Today, I love my husband to death and want sex all the time, meanwhile he claims he loves me too but constantly turns down sex and has even managed to negotiate a promise that I won’t ask for sex on special occasions like his birthday. What am I doing wrong? FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 799
You deserved it 326
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Top comments

FireMars 14

OK, I have a higher sex drive than my fiancè too, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me or isn't attracted to me. The same goes for your husband. We get taught that women are ones that don't want sex, and men want it all the time but it's simply not the truth. You're either going to have to be OK with having sex when he wants it, or if you're really not OK with that; move on. As much as you love him, your happiness and pleasure does matter. Although, you should've know about your sex drive differences by now, assuming you've been together a while before marriage, of course. People tend to paint the one with the higher sex drive as the bad guy; the one that should understand, but your feelings are just as valid. I have issue with him making you promise not to ask to have sex on special occasions though, I would personally sit down and talk to him about that.

23 0
Jon Tessler 14

does he suffer from depression? has he been checked for low testosterone levels? there are plenty of reasons why he doesn't want sex that can be improved with medical intervention. make some appointments for him, and go with him.

16 0

Comments

Aurora25 29

not everyone has a high sex drive 🙄

11 3
RagnarZ33 2

99% of the time it's not about the sex it's about the physical connection.

0 2
FireMars 14

OK, I have a higher sex drive than my fiancè too, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love me or isn't attracted to me. The same goes for your husband. We get taught that women are ones that don't want sex, and men want it all the time but it's simply not the truth. You're either going to have to be OK with having sex when he wants it, or if you're really not OK with that; move on. As much as you love him, your happiness and pleasure does matter. Although, you should've know about your sex drive differences by now, assuming you've been together a while before marriage, of course. People tend to paint the one with the higher sex drive as the bad guy; the one that should understand, but your feelings are just as valid. I have issue with him making you promise not to ask to have sex on special occasions though, I would personally sit down and talk to him about that.

23 0
Natalie Dempster 3

Literally couldn’t have said it any better! YES.

0 1
Becky Samuel 6

It doesn't sound like you have a lot of respect for *his* sexual needs. Pressuring someone into sex isn't cool. The *only* sort of consent that matters is enthusiastic consent, do you really want to have sex with someone you claim to love while they're not into it and probably resenting you for it?

7 9
rgkkk 17

You don't have to have sex each time your partner wants. But you shouldn't avoid having it at all, unless there is some valid reason. Otherwise it's definitelly not fair to your partner.

10 3
rgkkk 17

Nothing. He's probably asexual or has some problem that kills his sex drive. It's up to him, if he really loves you. Either he should confess or get help

11 0
Silver_helmet 10

Get him to counseling and therapy. This will hurt you - and then your marriage. Hopefully he accepts to acknowledge how it hurts you.

6 5
Jon Tessler 14

does he suffer from depression? has he been checked for low testosterone levels? there are plenty of reasons why he doesn't want sex that can be improved with medical intervention. make some appointments for him, and go with him.

16 0
Shzusuziq11 9

talk him into visiting a doctor to make sure it's not a medical problem...

10 1
geerod 14

Love him to death literally maybe it will happen ! otherwise negotiate an open relationship to get what you need/want.

3 1